Alien In The Caribbean

2012 Survival Kit- Face Your Fears This Year

2012-01-12T17:04:00.000-08:00

I won’t mince words.

You will not survive the times ahead if you are still enslaved to fear. Fear is the prison warden of the old, skewed-patriarchal, consumerist system. Fear keeps your mouth shut in the face of blatant injustice and corruption. Fear keeps you showing up to a job that makes you sick on every level. Fear cracks a whip of insecurity over your back so you continue keeping up with the Jonses. Fear keeps you in your ethnic ghetto. Fear traps you in the closet, invisible and insignificant making it easier for others to defame and dehumanize who and what you are.

Ready to be free? Good. Let’s get right into it with some common fears.

Fear Of The Unknown

This is the most primal fear. In fact, Fear Of Death is actually a heart-stopping hybrid of Fear Of The Unknown and Fear of Loss/Change. Can you imagine the first time our ancestors saw the vast ocean? Can you imagine how long it took them to wade into it let alone try to cross it? It is actually not a “fear” at all but a feeling of uncertainty. It is pure trepidation.

When you have no way of knowing what might be coming around the corner, the primal passive reaction is the Fight or Flight Response.

The goal of the lifelong truth-seeker, self-mastery pursuer is to ensure that whether their reaction is Passive or Active it is not Unconscious but Conscious.

Keep this in mind as we explore the other fears. Your goal is responding out of Enlightened Conscious Choice instead of Primal Unconscious Instinct, even when staring down an eviction notice, a parent’s finger pointing out the door, the barrel of a gun, a worthy romantic rival, a wave of riot police, a hostile audience or the crushing metal of a tank.

Choice obliterates Fear because it guides your reaction (Passive or Active) in such a way that you can achieve a brief moment of contemplation (Zen/Surrender/Focus) in order to acquire the knowledge to turn that adrenaline rush of fear into positive fuel to act in your best interests and/or that of others.

Let us look at a 2012-Relevant Example of this fear and how to respond to it:

Example 1
A woman who holds decision making position wakes up to the fact that she is working for a corporation that uses unfair trade, child labor and is doing wrong to the planet, cheating its customers and also making her miserable. It is horrible! But she is afraid that if she quits, she faces an uncertain future.

She can respond either this way...

or this way

As you can see, the latter is preferable. It offers many choices and options to fully exploit the abundance of the Universe. Also there is no longer any separate Passive and Active but a hybrid of the two. When you face Fear like a spiritual warrior you learn: how, when, where to strategically give way or push through, block or punch.

Related To Fear Of The Unknown: Fear of Death, Fear of Change, Fear Of Moving, Fear of Growing Up, Fear of Losing Identity/Status, Fear of Taking On Leadership.

Fear Of Abandonment

This is another primal fear. Our ancestors saw what happened to the wailing baby buffalo abandoned by its mother. We knew if we were suddenly alone, in the wild, we were on the menu ourselves. We are social animals. Community is very important to us and exclusion from the community was preparation for death. It was what we did to former alpha males who were past their prime. They were relegated to the fringes to be picked off by nature.

Wanting to belong and be at the very centre of the community is still a desperate, primal need even though we are no longer at the mercy of the wild and healthy solitary survival is quite possible, even preferable in some cases. Rejection by family, peers, community is so strong a motivating force, it kept people silent during history's most atrocious events. Even today, it makes the teenager within her clique who sees bullying happen, stay silent, secretly hating her lack of courage.

The fear of being rejected by family, peers, community is so strong, it can make people do things on a social level what they know is wrong on an individual level.

I make it a habit of treating with intense suspicion ANY organization that has a problem with individualism and tries to force community contact and their members constantly try to insert themselves into your life, particularly when they try to make you afraid of everyone and everything outside their group. I see it as an attempt to groom people away from self-sufficiency, self-awareness, self-examination and ultimately self-actualization. Any system or organization can become an opiate when this happens.

Let us look at a 2012-Relevant Example of this fear and how to respond to it:

Example 2
A young man realizes he is gay. Despite how he was raised to carry on in his father’s footsteps, be stereotypically macho and get married to a nice woman; despite the culture which focuses on heterosexual love and focuses on homosexuals in a negative or contentious light; despite the religious indoctrination against being gay, he cannot help but be attracted to other men instead of women. He is deathly afraid of losing everyone he ever loved and being a pariah in his community.

He can respond to his fear in either this way...

or this way...

It is incredible how people unthinkingly allow themselves to be herded into all the belief systems and arrangements that have massively failed the vast majority of humankind simply because it is what is “expected” of them. We allow systems to continue at levels beyond what it takes to have products recalled and marketing plans tossed out. We will never sync human development with planetary preservation if we continue to operate this way.

There are people who want us to stay in certain herds and camps because it benefits them, not us.

Developing nations cannot simply unquestioningly adopt the economic and diplomatic systems imposed on them. The Caribbean region in general and Trinidad and Tobago in particular will not survive climate change, food shortages and natural resource depletion if we continue to crave belonging to the North American, consumerist herd.

Fortunately for us, in Trinidad and Tobago, we have more than a few with revolutionary ideas. We just need to bring economic and political clout into the new spaces they create so that real change can happen. We have a significant advantage in this respect over other Caribbean islands where the people have been herded so well into their respective camps based on color, family name and social status and for the most part, remain in their camps out of fear of ridicule and diligently police their fellowmen who step out of the pigeon hole. It is sad because in today’s world a sense of community is just a click away. All the more reason why there is no excuse to remain among people who are not nurturing your soul and/or require you to hide your unique splendor under a basket.

My native island of Trinidad and Tobago has one of the highest numbers of awesome, freaks, free-thinkers, creative mavericks and revolutionaries per capita. If I were to list them all, it would take pages upon pages. But here are just a handful. Clockwise from left: Winston Bailey “The Mighty Shadow", a genius in the art-form of calypso, V.S. Naipaul, a Nobel Laureate, Dwight Yorke, the Fred Astaire of English football, Kevin Baldeosingh, our most outspoken atheist newspaper columnist, Anya Ayoung Chee, Project Runway Winner 2011, Godfrey Sealy our first ever openly gay AIDS activist and theatre actor/director/producer, Yao Ramesar, the most prolific Caribbean filmmaker, Rachel Price, fearless, straight-talking comedienne, Rikki Jai, chutney-soca pioneer and innovator, Keith Smith, beloved, poignant, social and cultural commentator, Meiling, genius fashion designer, 3Canal, Rapso prophets and revolutionaries, Gillian Lucky, fearless, un-closeted legal eagle and former Parliamentarian, Darren Cheewah, tattoo shaman and mas re-inventor, Denise Plummer, the boss-lady of calypso, Peter Minshall, the high priest of high mas (Carnival Masquerade).

I applaud all the people who have taken a good look at their inner-being, compared it to what is being offered within their current camp and made a conscious choice to step outside their camp in search of the important missing aspects, essential to their soul development, even if it means being an outcast temporarily or permanently.

The truth is, right now we need outcasts, free-thinkers, fearless creators, explorers, experimenters. We need freaks! How else are we going to come up with alternatives for unbridled, subsidized capitalism based on unfair-trade, irresponsible consumerism, exploitative labor and planetary destruction? How else are we going to come up with alternatives to oppressive fundamentalist religions? How else are we going to come up with alternatives for the monogamous nuclear family as the only respectable means to enjoy shared property, legal protection, sexual fulfillment and family-life? How else are we going to address in inadequacies of our educational system, judicial system and class inequality?

Related To Fear Of Abandonment: Fear of Being Embarrassed, Fear of Being Unpopular, Fear Of Being Invisible, Fear Of Being Wrong.

Fear Of Pain

This is a recent and unnatural fear.
Pain is something I have written extensively on before. If you do not feel like reading through it just yet, I will sum up the marrow of that previous essay:

Pain is not evil.

Pain is a natural, beneficial signal our bodies and minds were designed to feel to ensure our own self-preservation. It is how we know to STOP! SLOW DOWN! SOMETHING IS BEING POWERFULLY ALTERED! It is the equally valid opposite signal to pleasure which tells us to: PROCEED! ENJOY! SOMETHING IS BEING POWERFULLY REINFORCED!

When you relax, listen to the signal of Pain and surrender to it with conscious understanding that you should PROCEED, ENJOY because although SOMETHING IS BEING POWERFULLY ALTERED, it is for the best, pain can re-signal itself as Pleasure.

You can learn how to develop a high pain threshold or better yet, a highly enlightened pain threshold.It is an experience I have had while taking “cut-ass” from my father, being pierced, tattooed and getting a little freaky in the bedroom. It is an experience avid exercise buffs feel. It is even an experience women giving birth have had. The body releases endorphins to turn pain into pleasure when you accept the pain as something beneficial.

Bliss is actually Pain AND Pleasure firing at the same time. Orgasm involves both pain and pleasure nerve endings.

There was a time when we understood that pain was not in of itself evil but very useful to our survival. We worshipped not just the positive but also the negative aspects of nature because we saw it as part of one essential cycle. We incorporated pain into our various initiation rites. We knew hard toil brought sweet harvest. Calloused fingers produced lovely music. Wanting to live a life of eternal pleasure only was unfathomable to us, perhaps even scary or unnatural. Where was the contrast going to come from? Wouldn’t it be boring?

It was only when we began the class system of relegating the majority of the population to endure an unnatural, imbalanced, unnecessary amount of pain without any purpose, context or contrast while a few enjoyed as much pleasure as possible, that we lost this perspective and became either desensitized or oversensitive. When we selected who will enjoy more pain based on factors other than their own actions, factors like race, gender, culture, origin, then the utopia of eternal pleasure became desirable, particularly to the masses experiencing nothing but pain for no good reason. We turned something that was supposed to be harmonious into ridiculous extremes and both extremes of pleasure and pain are forms of suffering.

This, for eternity, with no contrast, is only appealing to those who live a life of meaningless suffering. To others it would be extremely BORING!

It may not seem like the person enjoying an unnatural amount of pleasure is suffering…not yet. But trust me, something vital is atrophying because of serotonin and dopamine overload and sooner or later a strong pain signal will be needed to establish balance. Negative feedback…you cannot fight it and when an entire society has pleasure overload, Mother Nature Herself will provide the negative feedback.

Fear of Pain is actually a hybrid fear made all the more intense by our current economic system and development as a species. We no longer have to do things the hard way. Water comes to us. Meat is nicely cut, cleaned and packaged for us in a refrigerated store. We can take a pill and lose weight instead of exercising and having to deal with muscular pain and stinky sweat.

Learning to face pain still is an essential rite of passage for many indigenous tribes still in existence around the world.

But all of it comes at a cost. Remember BALANCE.

There was wisdom in our ancestors’ take on pain and all bitter, smelly, gross, unpleasant aspects of human existence. You might as well deal with it and learn how to work with it. You cannot run from it. You cannot sanitize it, not completely. You need a little hardship, a little toil, a little inconvenience for contrast and most of all BALANCE. If you had to kill and gut your own chickens, do you really think you would eat so much KFC and develop clogged arteries and man boobs? If you had to collect and transport your own water, do you really think you would allow WASA to waste so much of it?

Let us look at a 2012-Relevant Example of this fear and how to respond to it:

Example 3
A young woman wants to be healthy, fit and beautiful but hates the discomfort, inconvenience, sacrifice involved in doing it the holistic way.

She can either take this approach...

Or this one...

The threat of pain, discomfort, delay and inconvenience drives the consumerist economy. How many products to make life easier do we need? Was the pain, discomfort, delay and inconvenience really such a bad thing if it was making us slow down, do things with more thought, care, love? Worst of all, it stops us dead in our tracks when we want to do the right thing.

Related Fears: Fear of Discomfort, Fear of Work, Fear of Delay, Fear of Inconvenience, Fear of Loss, Fear of Punishment/Consequences.

Practical Tools To Fight Fear

This is a Survival Kit after-all, so this discourse would be incomplete if I left you without some weapons to put into use right away. Feel free to copy, enlarge, print and share.

Have you noticed that in tackling Fear, the one major, recurring Spiritual/Intellectual Gap is Knowledge/Context and Mastery. Our greatest ally in surviving the rapidly changing world ahead is Knowledge/Context and Mastery. From this, everything else will naturally flow and fall into place. It is no wonder that the war on Knowledge, Context and Mastery has escalated in the last decade or so. Blatant falsehoods are being touted as facts even in the information age. History is being re-written, forgotten, sanitized to allow past atrocities to return. More and more products and services are being introduced to make us lazier, complacent and even more pleasure-addicted.

Beware those who wish to restrict your access to as much knowledge as you desire. Beware those who wish to erase, twist or sanitize history so we do not learn from its context. Beware those who insist you are weak, helpless, lost, fallen without their particular system, group, product, service and want to discourage you from independently questioning, seeking inner strength and capability.

That is about the only warning or “doom and gloom” you will hear from me about 2012. Apart from that, I truly believe it will be an eventful time in the best possible way for many of us who are learning how to become comfortable with growing pains and be productive, happy, peaceable in spite of them.

May 2012 and all the years to come sing for you!

Intimacy In A Time Of AIDS

2011-12-01T06:56:00.000-08:00

Some time ago, on the Saint Lucian radio talk show called What Makes Me Mad the host, Andre Paul led a discussion about his grievances with an AIDS awareness ad that advocated condom use if you believed your partner might place you at risk. The question he sent out over the airwaves was, “Would you continue to have sex with your wife if you knew she was HIV positive?”

The flurry of responses ranged from many disgusted “Absolutely not! I will get an instant divorce!” to a scant number of more tolerant “Yes, I will have sex but only with a condom”.

After the heated debate over the safety of having sex with a person with AIDS went on for a good thirty minutes, it became quite obvious to me that when it came to sex, the callers had a very one track mind when it came to sexual intimacy. The only thing on their minds was vaginal penetration and nothing more. This lack of imagination saddened me, especially when there are hundreds of safe and loving things a couple, even a couple where one person might be HIV positive, can do to share intimacy and pleasure. And so, it led me to ask, “Could our lack of imagination when it comes to sex be one of the many reasons why AIDS is spreading so rapidly in this region?”

Maybe if we were focusing more on the quality of our sexual experiences instead of the quantity of times we “get a juk” (especially the men), it would be easier to implement safer sex into our sexual routines. Could it be that true lovemaking and a fulfilling intimate sex life between couples is one of the answers to the AIDS epidemic?

Are Afro-Caribbean men unskilled and unimaginative when it comes to sexual intimacy beyond the athletics of jukking?

In the 1990’s several Sex survey studies at the UWI Gender Affairs St. Augustine indicated that Caribbean men are seriously lacking in sexual sophistication as they do not particularly enjoy the act of reciprocating orally. They also did not understand the importance of foreplay or that basically is it just the outer third (about three inches deep), of the vagina that gives a woman the most pleasure (so the obsession with size is unnecessary). The sex study dubbed the typical Caribbean male’s approach to sex “The wham bam” technique.

The study also went on to show that Caribbean women are also very much to blame for their lack of pleasure. They simply are not communicative enough and dishonestly fake orgasms. In fact, a lot of women are guilty of simply being mere outlets, present but yet not present during the act. How sad, especially when you consider that women are the superior sex when it comes to sexual pleasure.

We have a body part designed for nothing else but pleasure. Unlike, the penis, a woman’s clitoris does not serve any double function; its only purpose is to send us crazy with ecstasy. It has over two times the pleasure nerve endings of the male organ. As if that wasn’t enough, we were blessed again, with an internal G spot and are capable of having multiple orgasms. But how many of us are living up to our true pleasure potential? How many men are taking the time and care to truly make love to their women with care and comprehension of their needs? And are we women communicative with our partners? What do these questions have to do with AIDS prevention?

Designed with an organ only for pleaure with twice the nerve endings, twice the orgasm duration and the ability to have multiple and extended orgasms. You would think more women would be actively involved in speaking up about their sexual fulfillment but many are still not doing it.

The fact is safer sex goes hand in hand with good sex.

That goes for all sexual couplings but particularly the heterosexual and the MSM (men who have sex with men) community as lesbians remain one of the least infected groups when it comes to HIV (but not necessarily other STDs). Then again, women love to share their feelings, especially with each other and they do not wield the potentially dangerous, intrusive sexual organ called the penis, at least not the organic kind that is full of micro-organisms.

This organ can be a lethal weapon when wielded by an insecure, ignorant, impulsive selfish, guilt-ridden, self-loathing, unbalanced, compulsive man, gay or straight.

Within the gay male community, HIV is on the rise and there continues to be a problem of men simply not getting tested, not caring if they have it, not caring who they infect if they have it and worst of all, not even caring if they get it.

Why?

I used to think it was a “gay” problem caused by self-loathing particularly in homophobic societies like the Caribbean. Gay men are subjected to so many hateful and shame inducing indoctrination about their sexuality-“You will never find love!”, “You will troll the streets for strangers to satisfy your evil lust!”, “You will live a superficial life that revolves around vanity, materialism and hedonism until you can no longer afford it or grow old and ugly and get kicked out of the club”, “You will abuse drugs to numb your shame!”, “You will get AIDS and DIE!”

Many gay men unwittingly self-fulfill the prophesies levied against them because there is little else opposing those messages with love, self-acceptance, inclusion, family-life, unconditional love, real relationships, real intimacy and a healthy way to express joy, sexuality, individuality.

But I am beginning to doubt whether that is the only factor. For even in developed nations with liberal social attitudes, support systems, mainstream pop cultural acceptance and legislation that protects the equal rights of homosexuals, HIV continues to plague the gay male population. This makes me wonder if the problem is actually a MALE thing. Could it be that the same poor male attitudes towards sex, intimacy and respect for self and other that are making straight men infect their women with impunity are also present among gay men? Then further compounded by societal discrimination and criminalization that keeps sexual activity closeted and HIV status untested?

Could the risk-taking, careless, predatory approach to sex by men (both gay and straight) be rooted in something more primal?

While doing a “Prostate Cancer Awareness” campaign for the Brian Lara Cancer Treatment Centre in Trinidad, the chief oncologist revealed some of the male attitudes she has to deal with which include a reluctance to visit the doctor even when the signs show up, get tested and even get treated (if diagnosed). She said men have this risk-taking and defeatist attitude when it comes to their own life. But of course! Men were the gender that had to go out and face down saber tooth tigers and charging rhinoceroses. They were on the front lines, daring yourself to hold your spear steady while multitudes charged. They learned that risk can bring immediate and long term reward. They learned to feed off adrenaline. Women on the other hand learned life is precious and the most important thing is protecting themselves and their young. We faced off with our mortality every 28 days and won. We were the ones nagging our children not to run with scissors.

Could it be that safe sex is just BORING to men? Could it be that the claims of decreased sensation is all in their mind because the thrill of skin to skin is not there, the danger (of potential pregnancy or infection) is not there?

It is clear that men, gay and straight will have to learn how to replace this thrill with something else. But that of course will require IMAGINATION and INTIMACY and here is where our problems start.

Imagination is the easiest to fix of course, especially for men. I am sure it will not take a great deal of effort for them to think up right now of 50 ways to ejaculate outside of a vagina or asshole.

Pick up a copy of the Karma Sutra, read ancient erotica, use your imagination! Our ancestors were forced to be inventive about sex in order to keep their populations under control and in harmony with their eco-systems and seasonal patterns. Children were supposed to be well-timed accordingly, thus all the various fertility festivals that still influence our annual ceremonial calendar. Learn from them!

The real problem is intimacy. The things that get in the way of it are well entrenched in our culture- ignorance, shame, macho attitudes and disempowered female attitudes (and that includes disempowered female attitudes of gay men who are “bottoms”).

We will never get couples to practice safer sex when men still treat the female anatomy as a mere outlet instead of an actively engaged lock to their key, with special hidden keys of its own. We will never get couples to practice safer sex when they aren’t even in the habit of communicating their most intimate needs and desires because they are ridden with shame about it. If a man’s approach to sex is completely self and penis-centered, do you really think he’s going to care about his partner’s needs for a slower pace, gentler touch and most of all, putting on a condom? How can a woman who does not even value herself enough to insist her partner pleasures her properly truly care about him protecting her reproductive health?

Good sex comes from a kind of intimacy that allows openness of communication, concern for each other’s pleasure and health, mutual exploration, sharing desires and fantasies and freedom to feel safe within a loving relationship. As a bonus, much of the infidelity that often results in the spread of AIDS would also decrease if both parties were deeply satisfied in their sex lives with each other.

In this day and age of the AIDS epidemic, one would expect our imagination to grow beyond just rudimentary coitus. We have stubbornly held on to their outdated hypocrisy and shame. We are not widely providing sex aids, sex counseling, couples counseling or open and honest education about sex and sexuality. Yet at the same time we continue to nourish the primal sexual drive in our music and culture.

Why is this more acceptable, easy to do, easy to emulate?

But not this?

I attended a World Aids Day rally on Brian Lara Promenade in Trinidad, in 1996 and there was a kiosk set up by a brave young activist group. Their mission: show how safer sex could be fun and practical in a real life context. One of their members, a gutsy woman at that, demonstrated on a very life like dildo, how to put on a condom orally, as well as many other very practical and pleasurable safer sex techniques. She did this fully clothed and to an adult audience only. Yet still, there was a huge moral uproar! Funny, that same uproar is missing when some soca or dub artist teaches a new sexy dance to the public, including children.

It is no coincidence that the countries with the highest HIV contractions are those that still have deep seated conservative, repressed and hypocritically religious views on sex.

Here is my very novel message for this year’s World Aids Day, ladies, be open and honest about what you would really like him to do. Men, take the time to care about more than just a quick hole in one. Slow down and really be intimate and in that quality sensual time you spend with your mate, you will discover how easy and sexy it can be to introduce safer and imaginative techniques. It’s the message AIDS awareness campaigns missed completely- TRUE, EMPATHETIC LOVE MAKING, even if it takes the form of spontaneous, urgent sex that is a little rough in all the right ways…is ALWAYS safe and fulfilling.

The 2012 Survival Kit Series will continue in the next post.

2011-10-31T07:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Editor,
Trinidad Express Newspaper,

Even after British Empire’s public apologies to people like Oscar Wilde. Even after the insights of people like Alfred Kinsey. Even after decades of peer reviewed, research by respected medical and psychiatric boards around the world that have proven homosexuality is neither a disorder nor danger to society. Even after animal biologists have identified sexual diversity in nature. Even after countless gay and lesbian luminaries have contributed to our society, Trinidad and Tobago remains one of the forty one (41) countries in the Commonwealth that still have the old British Empire law on their books that basically states that anyone caught engaging in homosexual sexual activity or has confessed to being a homosexual is liable to be prosecuted, fined, punished (corporal) and/or imprisoned.

The constitutionality of the Offenses Against the Person Act No. 10 of 1925 and the Sexual Offences Act No. 27 of 1986. have not yet been challenged in the courts and it is overdue for revision. Not just because of foreign pressure, but for our own good.

Since May, 1998, a paper called: Comments on the Equal Opportunity Act was submitted for review to Government, Opposition and Independent Senators, Members of Cabinet, the Attorney General's Office, Ministry of Legal Affairs, Ministers of Government and religious and group leaders. It included peer reviewed Statistics on Homosexuality, Mental Health, Homosexuality and Teen Suicide, Attempts to Change Sexual Orientation, Homosexuality and Child Molestation, The Genetics of Homosexuality, Homosexuality in Trinidad and Tobago and Homosexuality and the Law.

Nothing came of it.

Now, Australian Commonwealth delegate Michael Kirby has said that at this Commonwealth Heads Of Government Meeting (CHOGM) in Perth, Australia, the agenda will include a request to scrap anti-gay laws. He told ABC Radio that HIV messages were “very difficult” to get across without removing laws against gay sex. Many representatives of the Commonwealth countries that have repealed their anti-gay laws- UK, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, South Africa, India, are expressing disappointment with being associated with countries so backward in their human rights record in this day and age. There are even suggestions to attach economic penalties to countries that refuse to abide by the clearly stated human rights principles of the Commonwealth. The Commonwealth secretary-general, Kamalesh Sharma, has written an article in the Nairobi Star and I quote:

“I have consistently made it clear publicly that we deplore hate crimes of any nature and the vilification and targeting of gay and lesbian people runs counter to the fundamental values of the Commonwealth, which include non-discrimination on any grounds.

“I also recognised the Delhi High Court for its landmark decision to decriminalise homosexual acts. This addressed a legal legacy of the British colonial era that continues to affect more than three-quarters of Commonwealth countries long after Britain itself has moved on.”

He continued: “If attitudes are to change, if homophobia is to be challenged – as it should – and if laws on homosexuality are to be reformed the best hope lies in democratic and legal processes.”

Countries like Uganda and Zimbabwe in particular have been downright inhumane to gays and lesbians. Here in the Caribbean, Jamaica leads the field in hate crimes against gays. However in Trinidad and Tobago and other territories like Barbados and Saint Lucia, the law against homosexuality is basically already operationally defunct.

When was the last time you heard of anyone appearing before court being charged with the crime of homosexuality? We go against our laws and allow self-professed homosexuals to come to our shores, Elton John, Tim Gunn, tourists from gay cruise lines and more. The law does not even apply to lesbians! No Magistrate will ever send someone to jail just for being gay and/or having an adult consensual relationship. Nobody of any standing, save the extremely religious, ever wants to be known as THE anti-gay, inhumane, intolerant idiot by the global community. For the story will make international news just as the ridiculous religious protests over Elton John performing in Tobago in 2007, Uganda’s “Kill The Gays” and Jamaica’s homophobic dancehall made international news.

Our Government officials know all the arguements for gay rights and why they should decriminalize. They know fully well the existing laws are outmoded. They have gay and lesbian friends, family, colleagues, admired fashion designers, performers and artists too. They do not want to be seen by the world as ignorant, homophobic and backward. They are just afraid of public disapproval among certain religious circles that may cost them votes.

Why can’t we just admit it? The law is just a legislative wet blanket to existing cultural prejudices, ignorance and religious bias. It can only be enforced by catching two men in flagrante in public, a matter Public Decency Laws should sufficiently address. These laws have nothing to do with protecting consent, children, society or public decency. It is strictly a religious sanction against a group of people.

These outmoded laws have no place in a multi-cultural democracy. Christianity is not the only majority religion represented in our country and even among many Christians, there are differing views. Father Clyde Harvey, parish priest of San Fernando's Cathedral, in his address Youth - "A Force for Change" commented:

“As heterosexual transmission [of HIV] increases, especially among married people, we are forced to consider the injustice of our discrimination and prejudice against HIV+ persons . Indeed, it is the same fear and prejudice which seeks to justify the exclusion of sexual orientation from the Equal Opportunities Bill.”

Anantanand Rambachan, professor of Hindu Studies at St. Olaf College, Minnesota commented:

“One of the fundamental and universally accepted teachings of Hinduism is that God exists equally in all human beings. It is the immanence of the divine which confers value and worth to the human person. Since God exists equally in all human beings, all human beings, without exception, must be regarded with dignity and treated justly. To discriminate against another in the workplace on the basis of gender, race or sexual orientation is unacceptable from the Hindu standpoint and symptomatic of a failure to discern the equal presence of God.”

“Tolerance” is one of our motto’s watchwords. We are no longer under a Church/Empire that felt it was their Supreme Right to not only dictate what consenting adults do in private but publically punish even if you did not follow their religion. This is where the un-constitutionality of the Sexual Offenses Act is most glaring. Do you know that same colonial religious bias once forbade beating African drums and Orisha, Shouter Baptists and Hindus their equal right to worship freely as their conscience dictates?

These laws and the supporting culture are also killing us! To be clear, homosexual orientation is not what causes the spread of HIV/AIDS. Irresponsible, promiscuous, unsafe sex does. Living in secrecy and having low self-esteem because of social exclusion and fear of legal harrassment tends to lead to clandestine, fleeting and often risky sexual outlets. It makes education, testing and treatment difficult for our Health Services when gay men don’t come out and/or worse, hide in sham heterosexual relationships.

If you are gay, lesbian or a friend, relative or colleague of gays and lesbians who recognizes that it is time we come out of the dark ages, please sign the petition as I have. It is confidential. Trinidad and Tobago, "forged from the love of liberty" and "where every creed and race find an equal place" is the most culturally diverse, innovative, progressive and creative of the Caribbean Commonwealth Member States. We should already be ahead of the field when it comes to this matter, not be in the same basket with places like Uganda, Zimbabwe, Jamaica and religious dictatorships in the Arab world.

2012 Survival Kit- Fear and Fighting False Phobias

2011-10-27T17:56:00.000-07:00

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
Franklin D. Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address (March 4, 1933)

Your mind goes blank, and you feel unable to speak, move or think. Your mouth goes dry and all the moisture accumulates on your palms. Cold shivers run down your spine and explode in paralyzing currents through every capillary in your body and every muscle seizes up. Yet even so, your heart feels like it will pound out of your chest. In fact it is the only muscle somehow activated by this stomach churning paralysis.

What creates this sensation for you?

Is it a snake slithering or cockroach scuttling or armed bandit shuffling across your path? Hearing, “You’re fired!”, “This relationship is not working, I’m leaving you,”, “Sorry, you do not qualify for a loan,” or the ominous growl of an approaching dog whose bite is worse than its bark? Does derisive laughter of your peers with whom you long to fit in or having your hidden weaknesses, lifestyle or private parts put on display trigger this sensation for you? Or maybe being put on the spot or in the spotlight? What about thinking about getting old, sickly and dying or watching it happen to your loved ones?

How often do you feel this sensation? Once a month? Once a week? Once a day? Many times a day?

This sensation is of course Fear.

What Is Fear?

Feel free to check the dictionary definition but here is mine:

Fear is the innate FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE to a person, place, position or possible outcome which makes one FEEL UNCERTAIN about their ABILITY TO SURVIVE unscathed or at all.

Like pain, fear is part of our inbuilt survival instinct.

We evolved and survived as a species because of it this “Fight or Flight” response. It primed our ancestors to take on things like mammoths, saber tooth tigers and stampeding bison. It is what urged them to struggle out of sucking quicksand and fierce river currents. It got their legs moving to run away from landslides, lava and tidal wave surges. Those who did not, their genes did not survive to our time.

However, as with all things, if it is not used purposefully fear will become a problem, physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.

To Be Used Sparingly

Fear places tremendous stress on our heart and drastically alters our body’s chemistry so you can burst forth with superhuman strength and single minded focus in order to survive.

For those who push through fear, they find that just like pushing through pain, on the other side is often extreme euphoria, comfort, strength and power. But in that moment, when you get slammed in the chest by fear, it truly feels you ran a marathon in a matter of seconds. Something so profound is not a reaction to waste on petty things and should be saved for moments that truly deserve it- defending your life and health or the life and health of your loved ones.

The human body and mind is a marvelous thing and able to grow stronger when subjected to stress with purposeful intent. The brave spiritual/truth seeker can also get stronger by learning how to use the sensation of fear to their advantage.

Today we rarely have to stare down snarling wild animals and hostile natural elements with little to no protection or understanding as our ancestors once did. In fact, some of us miss the thrill so much we deliberately seek danger and scary experiences to trigger the adrenaline rush our ancestors enjoyed several times a day.

Embracing fear, much like embracing pain can lead to pleasurable feelings on the other side as well as strength.

So how come with all our technology, seeming control over Mother Nature, freedom and prosperity our society seems so sick with fear induced stress? Why do so many people feel so confounded and powerless and afraid even though there are no lions scratching outside our door and we understand sickness is caused by micro-organisms and defective genes, not nefarious demonic forces?

Surprisingly, despite all our advancements as a species, we are still ruled by a lot of uncertainty, some of it is real and some of it is rooted in the spiritual diseases of Lack and Masculine/Feminine Imbalance. Do you wish to be free of unnecessary fear?

Freedom from Fear involves two things:

1. Understanding what is Real Fear and how to transcend it to power and purpose
2. Identifying what is False Fear and how to stamp out the Lack and Masculine/Feminine imbalance at its core.

There is a reason why I capitalized certain words in my previous definition of Fear. Here are those words again:

FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE
FEELING UNCERTAIN
ABILITY TO SURVIVE

When trying to differentiate Real Fear from False Fear these three key aforementioned factors play a vital role.

Fight Or Flight

When fear is based on real factors, choosing one of the following (Fight or Flight) immediately frees you from it in the short term and helps you survive. For example:

A woman finds an intruder in her apartment. She experiences the Fight Or Flight response. She chooses to fight and grabs a kitchen knife, defends herself and manages to discourage him and he runs off.
OR
Same scenario and she flees and calls for help.

In both cases, she is attempting to safeguard her survival. She may not be successful and may in fact die but her response to the situation is honorable, purposeful and valid. If she survives the incident, even with injuries emotional and physical, she emerges feeling extremely empowered and capable of dealing with the situation again.

Studies into the recovery of victims of sexual assault show that women who fight back while being raped recover faster from the shame, violation and fear. Women who become paralyzed by the Fight or Flight reaction take a much longer time to recover a sense of power and freedom from shame and fear.

Understand that Fight or Flight do not always mean literal Fight or Flight.

Sometimes Fight or Flight can translate to: (A) Staying and fighting for a relationship, goal or cause or (B) Fleeing from a relationship or abandoning a goal or cause.

On the other hand, when a fear is based in falsehood rooted in Lack or Masculine/Feminine Imbalance, the Fight or Flight reaction does not work!

This is often your first indicator that the fear is not valid. For example:

A singer has extreme stage fright and deals with it by fleeing from any public appearances. The fear never goes away. She never becomes empowered or capable of dealing with the source of that false fear.
OR
A man is extremely fearful of rejection and so, lashes out violently at any and every opportunity that brings up that fear. His fear is going nowhere! He is not becoming empowered and capable of dealing with the source.

So first clue that your fear is false:

• It does not go away when you apply Fight or Flight
• When you apply Fight or Flight you actually make matters worse for yourself and others.

Feeling Uncertain

Uncertainty is at the very center of fear. Or to put it another way, the actual sensations you feel as Fear is that indecisive, anxious, sickening crux between Fight OR Flight. You have no idea how the situation is going to turn out and for a split-second, you are indeed in a state of paralysis.

This in-between phase often manifests as avoidance or inaction. And some people never get out of that state of paralysis because their fear is false and as we mentioned earlier, cannot be solved by either Fight or Flight.

Nothing is as torturous as dwelling in the uncertain middle ground between Fight and Flight. It is literally like dwelling in a state of fearful, paralyzing paranoia all the time.

Fear only becomes a problem when you remain stuck in that limbo between Fight Or Flight. Often people get very comfortable in this state of fearful non-action and even find ways of justifying it. This is where resistance to change, compromise and the stagnation of the growth of your soul takes hold.

I speak from personal experience here.

For years I was afraid to lay my cards on the table in my relationship out of a paralyzing fear that my partner would be unable to deal with it and it will mean the conclusion or a drastic change in some way we both would not find pleasant. I justified it as being mature, civil, accomodating and long-suffering but the truth was it would keep me up at night. It would affect my mood. It would make me shut down all communication which would escalate into even more serious problems- constipation, piles, stress fuh so!

When you have no idea how something is going to turn out or which action you should take (Fight or Flight) you begin to fill that void with your own speculations of what will happen if you take action. Suddenly what you become afraid of is taking any action. Those of us with wild imaginations know how we can self-torture ourselves into insomnia and insanity. Worse yet you can be exploited by others to live in a state of Avoidance & Inaction, while others can commit great crimes. For example:

As we speak, we know something is wrong with unbridled Capitalism and so-called free markets. However we are so afraid of what revamping it will bring, we choose to just do nothing or even worse, stubbornly defend the failed system, its culture, politics and accompanying religious systems.

Fearful inaction by people who should know better has been at root of so much evil in our society.

The Cure For Uncertainty

There are three guaranteed cures for Uncertainty.

1. Knowledge
2. Enlightenment
3. Divine Trust

Whether you are theist, deist or atheist, one, two or all of the above work wonders. Let us explore how it works within one particular and very common scenario: A parent finding out their child is gay.

Knowledge

A mother learns her beloved son is a homosexual.

Before this, she has never had any personal dealings with a homosexual and her only knowledge about homosexuals came from one, very limited source which has painted a negative picture.

This picture is what causes her Fear because she as far as she knows her son is doomed, deviant, hell-bound, evil. However, this conflicts with other things she knows; her son is also kind, talented, loving and genuinely distressed by not being able to change to please her and fit into their family and community.

She is stuck in a state of uncertainty which can manifest passively as:

Avoidance and Inaction: Pretend my child is not gay, avoid the subject.
Or actively as:
Ignorant Rush to Fight or Flight: Condemn, denounce and try to change him or ostracize him and then spend the rest of her time over-defending her actions she knows it cannot be easily validated.

Because both responses are rooted in ignorance, it will wind up hurting her and her son.

The mother will remain in this state until she embarks upon a mission to broaden her knowledge and research ALL the medical, historical, sociological and legal facts. This will result in a new choice based on greater understanding of the situation. Knowledge can empower a more informed Fight or Flight response. She can now choose to:

Fight: For her relationship with her son, his happiness, his well-being and equality in society
Flight: Discard and remove herself from any false or one-sided beliefs that cause pain and suffering and the people and situations that promote them.

However knowledge only works if someone is receptive to it.

A pre-existing resistance to knowledge will cause someone to actually choose to remain in that limbo state of uncertainty and conflict or Fight or Flight in ignorance and then grasp at ways to justify it as it hurts others.The ability to be receptive to Knowledge comes from having Enlightenment.

Enlightenment

Knowledge is indeed Power. But knowledge alone is not what leads to power. What leads to power is being able to:

Accept the knowledge however disquieting, process it fearlessly and then make whatever compromises are necessary to live in harmony with that newfound truth, even if it hurts your ego, status, feelings, comfort level.

This requires Enlightenment.

If our mother of the homosexual already has the raw ingredients for Enlightenment- a level of fearlessness, freedom and fullness of self-esteem, when she learns about the medical facts, research and spiritual basis for natural sexual diversity her paralysis is instantly healed. She feels empowered to Fight or Flight from a place of truth even if she risks social, peer and family disapproval.

The opposite is true. If she is powerless and enslaved to a belief or the external trappings of her social standing and peer and family approval she will continue to choose deliberate ignorance. But where exactly does that power to be Enlightened come from?

Divine Trust

When that mother of the gay son learns about his sexuality, she feels genuinely powerless.

Now, she can rail against her utter powerlessness or she can simply admit the truth:

Although I gave this child birth, food, shelter and inculcated my values based on what I know, in the end, I have no control over many innate qualities this child possesses; his personality, talents, intelligence, sexuality and most of all, his self-determined, life choices.

It does not matter if you believe in a Purposeful Universe or Divine Plan or not. This is a Universal Truth- we cannot control everything and everyone. It is also called The Law Of Allowing.

Recognizing where your control ends and the will of another and the Universe begins is one of the most liberating, empowering lessons that sadly many do not learn before it is too late. Throughout their entire lives they take on other people’s shit, let other people’s shit unduly affect them and try to control what others do with a false sense of power.

Prayers for Bobby- The movie is based on the true story of Mary Griffith whose conservative Christian beliefs and standing in her church community made her reject her gay son leading to his depression and suicide. His death is what finally enabled his mother to find the courage to be Enlightened. Today Mary Griffith shares her Enlightenment with the world to save countless lives and countless parent-child relationships.

However, those who do believe in some form of Universal or Divine Purpose and truly act in accordance with what they believe, often find a lot more comfort in the process of admitting their powerlessness. Why? Because they feel a safety net under them if they just free-fall with love and trust into something higher, bigger, all-encompassing, even if they cannot exactly define or understand what it is.

This is also known as faith.

Not blind faith mind you! But faith based on Universal Truth about our human limitations; humbly admitting we lack the ability to understand everything right away and simply trusting that with time the answer will come.

Those whose entire sense of security rests in being overly certain they know ABSOLUTELY FOR SURE how everything OUGHT TO BE right now, are actually the ones demonstrating blind faith and are usually the ones plagued by the most fears. Certainty or false pride in having a certain position becomes a crutch for other insecurities. Sometimes only a truly tragic or humbling experience gives them the courage to let go, be still and let the truth unfold as it should.

To him that waits all things reveal themselves, provided that he has the courage not to deny, in the darkness, what he has seen in the light. ~Coventry Patmore

So, there is in fact a more empowering option than disempowered paralysis between Fight or Flight. It is Divine Trust.

Divine/Universal Trust is not dejectedly throwing your hands up in the air. It is not giving over your power or cowardly refusing to do the right thing. It is throwing down your burdens and weapons and admitting, “Okay, I am lost! I need a map before I continue!” or “Okay, I am tired. I need strength beyond what I can fathom to deal with this!” or "This is not working, I need to try something else, I don't know what yet but I will cease and desist until it becomes clear."

Throughout history, great strides in human rights, social justice and yes, even science have been made by people who did just that instead of CONTINUING TO PRETEND THEY KNEW WHAT WAS BEST BASED ON THE SAME PARADIGM THAT LED THEM TO THE CONFLICT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

The greatest warriors and martial art philosophies of the world embrace this state of being still or Zen just before you unleash your Fight or Flight. When you get good enough at it, you can actually do it on command or in a split second when your life is on the line. Combining wise, purposeful focus with the power of that adrenaline rush can save your life and the lives of others.

There is a favorite scene of mine from the movie The Last Samauri where the character Nathan Algren played by Tom Cruise, foreplays the entire battle in his head, analyzing each outcome before he launches his attack. Yet it happens in a split second. The state of being still and letting God/Universe is actually like getting the benefit of hindsight without the regret.

Conversely, great tragedy and human set-backs have been made when we rushed to Fight or Flight without the benefit of either Knowledge/Enlightenment that can only be obtained in that moment of stillness.

Can you imagine what our world look like right now if the USA had not rushed into bombing Hiroshima, invading Iraq or adopting post WW2 economic plans based on unbridled consumerism and corporate omniscience?

Thank goodness for all the people that embraced that stabbing shard of doubt, that unsettled feeling, that twinge on their heart-strings, that moment of pause and simply surrendered and learned to be still long enough to be enlightened before acting.

Ability To Survive

Remember how we started this discourse. Fear (Fight or Flight) is a tool that primes us to have the strength and focus to act in defense of our own survival. So truly the ultimate barometer of whether that Fight or Flight response is valid is whether it has resulted in- Our Survival or Our Demise.

In the last Survival Kit essay on Masculine/Feminine Imbalance, one false fear was already laid bare. The False Fear Of Losing Ownership/Control Over Another.

In the next easy we unveil some more false fears that are plaguing society by measuring them against the litmus tests of this essay. We will also reiterate and affirm the Spiritual Power-Ups that fight these false fears.

I truly hope that a newfound level of courage will come to you and me by the end of this exploration.

Warning Signs Of A Harmful Cult

2011-10-04T13:27:00.000-07:00

The next installment of the Survival Kit Series is being worked upon, I promise.

Would you be able to tell right now whether the group to which you belong, whether religious or secular was a dangerous cult? After all, basic group dynamics that prioritize conformity are at play in almost every organization. Is there an objective method to differentiate innocuous groups from cultic or extremist ones that seek to deprive individuals of an unreasonable amount of their autonomy and power?

Yes.

Below are some warning signs that can help you reasonably determine whether or not a group is likely to be a destructive cult, and if you should be concerned about a friend, co-worker, or loved one or even yourself.

Now chances are that you will find at least one or two warning signs may apply to most groups and organizations. This is normal as belonging to any cohesive social group naturally requires at least some level of individual compromise on certain freedoms.

The key is the extent of compromise being asked and for what purpose? In my opinion, if MORE THAN TWO of the warning signs presented below apply to your group, your red flag should go up immediately. It may not necessarily mean that you are in a destructive cult but you are certainly in a high-control group that may rob you of your self-autonomy and self-actualization if you let it.

Try to be as objective as possible and ask yourself if the following criteria apply to the group you are concerned about.

1. Total control of its members' behaviour.
Cults are likely to dictate in great detail not only what members believe, but also what members wear and eat, when and where members work, sleep, and bathe, and how members think, speak, and conduct familial, marital, or sexual relationships. You are strongly discouraged from pursuing your unique talents and ambitions. Doing what is best for your individual needs and circumstances and thinking for yourself using your own common sense, is strongly discouraged. To outsiders members of your group are like clones of one another acting and speaking the same way, using special language and symbolism exclusive only to members of the cult.

2. Lack of privacy for members but total privacy for management
Members are urged not only to be obedient within the cult and carefully follow the rules but are also encouraged to be overly revealing and honest within the group. You are urged to refrain from keeping secrets and must constantly confess all to the leaders, even telling the intimate secrets of other members. Tattle-tailing is rewarded and encouraged. You cannot somehow have your “own private business” or “private family life”. Members pry, interrogate and instigate themselves in your life all the time and you have no space, no room to just be.

Meanwhile, the inner workings at the top levels of the group regarding things like appointments, finances and decisions that affect the entire group are kept strictly under wraps. The rank and file have no idea how or why certain decisions are made. They just are! And all must comply or else.

Are you feeling like you are losing your identity?

3. Dishonesty
While full-disclosure is encouraged inside the group, outside the group the members are encouraged to be secretive and even dishonest, especially in defence of the group or leaders of the group. You may be encouraged to act unethically by manipulating outsiders or non-members by not being forthcoming about the true experience within the group, especially when trying to attract new members. Things that most would find unpleasant, offensive and objectionable are sugar-coated or hidden until it is too late and the convert has already sealed their commitment in some way.

4. Suspicious double standards
Even though your group may claim all must abide by one set of ethics you clearly see that there is a pecking order and levels of justice and freedom depending on hierarchy or other forms of classification. Undue amount of sacrifices may be asked of the lower rank and file in the group, like living frugally, avoiding certain diversions, celibacy, abandoning or altering their families, friends, and careers to suit the group. Yet the higher ups in the group seem to enjoy special dispensation from these sacrifices.

5. An over-emphasis on recruiting new members and fund-raising.
Many altruistic movements, established religions, and other honourable groups also recruit and raise funds. However, these actions are incidental to improving the lives of its members, community and of humankind in general. Destructive groups on the other hand are obsessed with recruiting and fund-raising. Their goal is clearly to increase the prestige and often the wealth of the leader or group of leaders. The followers' possessions, money, time, and lives become totally wrapped up in furthering the cause of the cult and they spend a disproportionate amount of their time and resources recruiting new members. Successful recruiters are rewarded either financially or given more respect and rank within the group.

6. Exclusive and isolationist
The group presents itself as the ONLY viable system for change that will solve life's problems or the world's ill or the ONLY true path. You spend most of your time learning how to defend this stance instead of actually examining the validity of the “absolute” claims of the leader and the cult. You are either physically, emotionally or mentally isolated from the rest of the world- sometimes all three. You are encouraged not to have any meaningful social interaction with anyone outside the group, even family members. You are encouraged to see the cult as “special”, “privileged” and the rest of the world as misguided, evil and doomed.

7. Subtly or strongly discourages questioning, investigation
Natural doubt and curiosity is seen as disobedience or “lack of faith”. You are forbidden from reading, watching or interacting with sources of different information or challenging information. Certain limitations are placed on academic study, children are indoctrinated early and are then kept ignorant about anything different or outside the teachings of the cult or are told such things are “totally evil” and taught to fear them. Any discussion or interchange with different views or outside media is strongly discouraged. Various forms of pressure are used to illicit total compliance. You do not feel free or able to have a different opinion without fearing some kind of reprisal. You do not feel free to interact with people of differing views, beliefs, cultures etc. You feel scared, frustrated and flustered when you question anything you have been taught.

8. Authoritarian in its power structure.
The leader/s of the group is regarded as the supreme authority and members are discouraged from questioning their actions or do not feel emboldened to do so. Power may be delegated to subordinates but it is for the purpose of seeing that members adhere to the leader's wishes. There is no appeal outside the leader’s power system to any greater system of justice. If you are ill-treated within the group, you are discouraged from going outside for help. Injustice or conflicts resulting in loss or bodily harm are kept hush-hush. Members police one another to be submissive to the power structure, anyone caught “bad-mouthing” a superior is quickly reported (See No. 2) because the leaders are seen to have some kind of special divine knowledge, revelation or power that set them apart from others and exempts them from human scrutiny.

9. Counter-intuitive or dangerous requests made.
Last but not least, any group that asks you to accept as true something that is clearly (scientifically, historically, ethically) untrue or asks you to do anything that will bring serious harm or bring death to yourself or another for any reasons other than legally justified self-defense is not to be trusted.

What to do if you or someone you love is at risk?
If you know someone who belongs to a group that demonstrates at least FOUR OR MORE of these warning signs- THEY ARE DEFINATELY IN A DANGEROUS CULT. How destructive depends on how many more of these warning signs the cult exhibits. The Branch Davidians (David Koresh) for example demonstrated all nine signs.

If you have serious reason to suspect your loved one is in a cult, remember that while your suspicions may be justified, the person you care about may see things very differently. Their judgement of the situation has been impaired by dependency, peer pressure, emotional blackmail and mind control. It’s you, the outsider who has the most objective view of what is going on and will notice changes in their personality and glaring forms of manipulation. But they won't and you will be tempted to jump in, guns a blazing to the rescue.

Stop!

Here are three dos and donts for helping a person trapped in a cult:

DONT: Say or do anything to make the person feel ashamed or hurt for choosing the cult. Many cults pre-empt family or friend objections by telling converts to expect persecution. Your stern condemnation of your friend or loved one will be seen as persecution and you will be reinforcing in their mind that the cult was right! And while you “persecute” your loved one, the cult will be there to comfort them and gain solidarity in “shared suffering”. Who do you think your loved one will trust afterwards?

DO: Offer unconditional love and support. It will be hard but try to keep your cool and phrase your objections in the form of open-ended, calmly delivered questions that prompt their inner evaluation. For example:

Isn’t it curious that they do not want you to read any opposing information? I always thought it is smarter to hear both sides of an argument before making a decision. If I was ever in court, I would certainly hope the jury deciding my fate was open to hearing both sides of the story. What about you?

DONT: Attack the cult directly or make it all about the cult or its leader. They probably have already programmed your loved one to become defensive on their behalf. This is not about the cult , not really. The cult is just the end result, a symptom of a deeper issue lurking within your friend or family member. That issue may be their self-esteem, their intellectual capacity, their coping skills with life’s challenges, their need to belong, their need to have a purpose in life. Just like a drug addict, that cult is the substitute for something.

DO: Hone in and then try to heal the source of weakness, dysfunction, hurt, pain, loneliness, confusion that has made your family member or loved one vulnerable to a cult. In their evangelizing/recruitment preparation, many cults encourage their proselytizers to seize on any opportunities presented by people who have suffered loss and/or are in a weakened state. When someone is hurt, scared and alone, they are not in a mental or emotional position to make good judgements and ask rational questions. How many of us could resist being bombarded by love, charity and acceptance by a total stranger when we were in a weakened state? Cults are the vultures feeding off family road-kill. So pay attention to your friends and family and their well-being. If you don’t, I guarantee that someone less savoury else will.

The "black sheep" that does not get love, acceptance and understanding from their family and friends is an easy target for cults

DONT: Wait or doubt the signs you see or be fooled by little positive changes like stopping certain vices or addictions or their new convert “euphoria”. Parents who lost children to cults recall how, “I was skeptical and I knew the group was shady but she seemed so happy! After being involved in drugs and unhealthy living, I thought she finally put her life together!”

Political correctness is another dangerous delayer of proper action. Yes, we should all have freedom of religion and you do not want to be a accused of being a bigot or intolerant but religious freedom is NOT AN EXCUSE for someone to be harmed. Many fearing the "intolerant" brush shied away from taking action until it was too late. There are UNIVERSAL signs of somebody being manipulated againt their knowledge or will and guided to give away all their power. These signs DO NOT LIE! Take action! Deal with the accusations later.

DO: Be unrelenting until your friend or loved one is free! Always keep the lines open. Be prepared for that phone call in the night, “I need help! I am scared! Come and get me!” and be prepared to act right away. In fact, if you know the situation is truly bad (6 to 9 signs of a cult), don’t even wait for the phone call. Sometimes physical intervention and extrication is needed and therapy will come later.

There may be certain cases where swift physical intervention may be justified. Families who managed to get their children out of the David Koresh cult before the Waco incident do not regret taking drastic action.

If you are reading this and it strikes home that it’s you who is in a cult, you are fortunate to still have your wits about you.

Do not feel ashamed because you suspect that you have fallen prey to a cult. Shame often leads to a defensive attitude as you try to take your power back by justifying your choice. Master manipulators know that a secretly insecure, defensive group members are loyal members. The more time you spend defending your choice, the less time you spend looking at it critically. That is why cults always need a ‘Them” to their “Us” to keep their members distracted with being on the defense.

Look, even intelligent, confident, decent and accomplished people have fallen prey to cults. It could happen to anyone. You are not a bad person. You are not a stupid person. Remember, these groups and their masterminds are well rehearsed in taking advantage of people who are either deeply wounded by trauma, going through a difficult situation or desperately searching for the meaning of life. Most of us are not taught how to withstand such tactics as a vital part of our upbringing, so we often have no way of even suspecting we are being sucked into a pyramid scheme, sexually exploitative pit or a position as a clueless political pawn. Most of all, it is our nature to want to believe the best about others. It comforts, reassures and keeps us sane.

The only reason some of us are now more vigilant is because of being a former victim. Trust me it is not because we are better people than you or anyone else.

Take heart, you can still find wholesome fellowship to enrich your life, offer you comfort and shelter as you seek for the answers to life’s deepest questions. Just be careful and always alert for signs (blatant and subtle) of manipulation (emotional, mental, social), injustice, invasion of freedom and suppression of individuality.

And remember, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT TO BE ABLE TO THINK FREELY, SPEAK FREELY, QUESTION, INVESTIGATE, MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND AND WALK AWAY FREELY FROM ANY ORGANIZATION WITHOUT FEAR ANYTIME YOU CHOOSE! Nobody is your master! Do not let anyone make you forget it!

If you would like more information on how to deal with destructive cults or mind control, here is a good place to start.

The Culture Of Bullying And Persecution Complexes.

2011-09-14T11:43:00.000-07:00

The 2012 Survival Kit will continue with an exploration of Fear that hopefully will help us dismiss fake fears and learn how to deal with real ones using the Universal Laws and Spiritual Power-Ups.

While I work on it, I thought I would share a much simpler and related discourse on the whole “Anti-Bullying” movement taking off around the world, particularly in first world countries. Comedians highlight that the discomforts, depression, disorders, even food allergies seem to be first-world nation disorders. Happiness and inner peace seems more attainable by people who are content with far less and still challenged to work hard.

This is not to make light of the true victims of abusive words and actions or those who have suffered isolation, defamation, exclusion and denial of personhood, a fair shot at success and equal human rights. This is about gaining some perspective and strength in an overly sensitive, politically correct world where people’s egos seem even more fragile than egg shells and the very notion of becoming stronger by facing trial by fire seems unfathomable. It seems like if everyone has a low pain threshold. Even people with abundant food, loving family and friends, blossoming careers and easy acceptance within the status quo are somehow being crippled by depression.

So how do you separate what is truly an injurious and inhumane infraction on your person and what is merely the inevitable friction caused by diversity of beliefs, attitudes, levels of enlightenment, maturity and tolerance?

What you need is to find the constant, the true benchmark by which you measure an injurious and inhumane infraction. Of course, everyone’s tolerance levels are different and here lies the challenge! We have to keep our balance as a society. Those whose tolerance levels are too low must learn how to develop some backbone! Those whose tolerance levels are extremely high must learn how to become a little less desensitized.

I once had an impassioned argument with a young, upper class-born, Caribbean female professional now living and working in North America. She grew up in a life of relative ease uncharacteristic for most young women in her island; two parents, lovely home, abundant nourishing food, access to great health care, great school, extracurricular activities, family vacations abroad and her academic goals supported and funded. Though not gay herself (as far as I know) today she gains great satisfaction from immersing herself in contentious, difficult and challenging situations helping gay teenagers cope with rejection and discrimination in her first-world country home.

Commendable work indeed!

What inspires such bravery in more hostile places of the world?

But when I tried to point out that a disadvantaged black person from the ghetto here and/or even in North America has it much harder than some middle-class gay or lesbian in a first world country and probably needs a lot more support, we diverged in opinion…drastically. She was really fired up about how terrible it is for those young homosexuals in the first world and even claimed I did not understand their pain.

Now, she had no idea that she was speaking to a lesbian who came out at fifteen to staunchly religious and intolerant parents, survived depression, suicide attempts and still puts up with far worse abuse, including watching her partner get assaulted twice, while living in the Caribbean with little to no support available and no recourse. Male, angry, frustrated, confounded calls of, “Zami” forms part of the soundtrack to which I go to work, the grocery or movies.

I choose not to tell her about my experiences and those of other Caribbean gays and lesbians who suffer even more than I do.

I could see she was close to tears already and I had no intention of making her feel like her commendable work was worthless because it is not. aAny effort made to help another is a blessed thing. However all that fire, that passion she has for what she does will be exponentially more powerful if motivated by the right principles and guided by clearer perspective.

We all have different tolerance levels for things that are unpleasant or that seem unfair. This is why it is important to look at everything objectively and universally. Only then will the real persecution reveal itself and only then will holistic solutions become apparent.

Perspective is everything.

Perspective is the only thing that empowers us to invest our energies wisely and that includes our anger, effort, ambitions and activism. Sadly, there are many things that get in the way of finding that perspective.

These are:

Nurturing A Subjective Self-Esteem

How is it that a teenage drag queen can proudly strut her stuff through a rough Caribbean neighbourhood, full of homophobic, sexually-insecure men quick to violence, in a country where homosexuality is not only socially frowned upon but illegal? But in a first world country where it is not a crime to be gay and gay culture is supported, celebrated, endorsed and unions are legally recognized another young man’s spirit is utterly demolished by being called “Faggot!”

That young Caribbean man’s self-esteem comes from within and rests on a foundation of inner strength both emotional and spiritual. For this reason, it is unshakable by public opinion or even law. I know of cases where the person simply believes, “I am fabulous! I am proud! I know God loves me so I don’t need your damn approval! I deserve to be able to walk this street as I please just as you do!”

The“In-your-face, objective approach” to self-love, celebration of diversity and individuality has far reaching positive benefits.

Whether the first openly gay person in the workplace to the first black person to try to join the all-white golf club to the first woman to seek Government office or the only atheist who is brave enough to decline participation in an inappropriately imposed religious practice. These are the people who inspire the breakthroughs that lead to greater freedom for us all. We need a lot more individuals, not just gay and lesbian but all people of all creeds, beliefs and cultures whose self-worth is not subject to whether or not they get validation from the system or their social environment.

For this reason, I think the Lady Gaga approach to bullying- “Love yourself! Stand proud! You are beautiful!” is far more empowering than the approach taken by activists who try to police the social environment with cosmetic-only policies that demonize words, symbols, differences of opinion, often devoid of context and unable to address the complexity of human interaction and expression.

They demonize the “N” word regardless. They demonize “Fag” regardless. They demonize all expression of any religious beliefs or non-belief. They demonize all difficult debates.

In the end what this does is create a society of weaklings who never learn how to independently develop that kind of self-esteem possessed by the self-loving, self-affirming drag queen in the homophobic Caribbean who braves the threats and confronts it head on with rebuttal, debate and well-coined defense. That brave soul is doing much more for gay rights than those trying to force society to be palatable. When he responds to:

“Yuh fucking bullerman! Fire bun!”
with...
“Why yuh watching if you doh like?! Don’t make me drag your dirty laundry out for everyone to hear!”

He is showing strength. He is addressing the hatred. He is highlighting the hypocrisy. He actually has the opportunity to influence and possibly change the intolerant person’s mind-set. But when we prevent the intolerant person from even speaking, we let their negativity fester below the surface of polite society, unaddressed just waiting to explode in ways that will certainly be far more calculated and damaging to the intended victim of his hatred.

North American and European society is becoming more obsessed with being palatable than being profound and powerful in our ability to identify truth and justice. It is actually becoming impotent against those who truly seek to impinge on human rights and dignity. All they have to do is now jump on the politically correct train.

"No, we don’t hate gay people. We just hate the sin of homosexuality."

"No, we aren’t setting out trying to hurt gay families. We are just supporting traditional values."

"No, we aren’t racist. We just don’t believe the Government should give special assistance to the poor (mostly black) communities. Why can’t they help themselves? We did! We had no special advantages whatsoever!"

And the persecution complex train…

"People are calling our beliefs bigoted and our viewpoints are being challenged and becoming unpopular in the mainstream media! We are being persecuted!"

"A secular and/or scientific viewpoint is being considered instead of our narrow religious viewpoint. We are being persecuted!"

"The Government and public square is not showing favor to our religious beliefs over other beliefs or non-beliefs. We are being persecuted!"

Only a few voices in the media have the balls to engage in more a penetrating intellectual search for truth instead of playing the politically correct/persecution complex charade where deep, complex issues are settled with dubious sugar-coated sound-bites.

When we give credence to false premises and false hurts we end up becoming impotent at powerful debate in the public square.
Now, if we were to grow some cahones, we would know that the response to someone expressing, “I believe being gay is a sin!” is not, “That is hurtful, bigoted, old-fashioned. SHUT UP!”

Instead, it should be:
“Let’s debate that! Go on! Prove your statement to be absolutely true! If you cannot then society is under no obligation to show any consideration for what is just a subjective religious opinion even if we respect your right to have it and express it. Nor do you have the right to impinge on anyone’s human rights because of your subjective religious opinion. Seeking to do so makes you potentially an enemy of freedom and equality.”

This is the standard that should be demanded of everyone, particularly politicians and religious leaders seeking to influence public policy. This is the level of debate that should be taking place in the media and in schools. This is the kind of exchange that brings society one step closer to gaining some true perspective.

Brilliantly handled! See how local Long Beach residents dealt with the hateful protest of Westboro Baptist Church in their area.

I look at the tragic shooting of Lawrence King by the troubled student Brian Mc Inerney and the way it is being handled in the courts and I just cringe with frustration. In the oversensitive, simplistic, politically correct arena of US Law, what everyone is missing is this: Lawrence King (May He Rest In Peace) was a confident, fulfilled, esteemed and loved child. In his tragically short life, despite being different and sometimes teased for it, despite having difficulties with his home life while growing up, Lawrence discovered through all his tribulations the power of self-expression and was supported with love and tolerance at his school.

At his memorial service, the Rev. Dan Birchfield said, “God knit Larry together and made him wonderfully complex. Larry was a masterpiece.”

I look at Brian Mc Inerney, the perpetrator and all I see is tragedy. Abused, unloved, ignored, insecure and a ticking time-bomb that nobody cared to hear or see. He will be spending most of his life in prison for a crime committed from a place of utmost inner weakness and turmoil at an age when he lacked the wherewithal to deal with such powerfully demoralizing emotions. He will forever be remembered as a hateful monster by most too content with a simplistic world view where the bully is seen as the one with all the power, not as the one in need of the most help.

It is clear to me that the concern, love, attention, paid to Lawrence to boost his self-esteem, even though commendable would have better helped Brian Mc Inerney because Lawrence King was a stronger, happier, more evolved and resilient soul than Brian Mc Inerny. If our approach was a little more balanced, perhaps two lives would have been saved.

The saddest thing is that by labeling all bullies MONSTERS and not delving any deeper, by labeling all the bullied, VICTIMS, particularly when the results are fatal for them and not delve any deeper. It’s as if their death has no meaning, no lesson to teach us to make us more empowered.

Myopic Entitlement

In other words, “I am so special that I exist outside the impact zone of cause and effect.”

WRONG!

The Lady Gaga approach to self-love that I applauded earlier does have its limits. At some point, your ego has to mature enough to accommodate the fact that as thread in the tapestry of the human fabric, you will experience its rippling and stretching.

We all fall prey to this inability to see and make connections between our seemingly exclusive existence, hopes, dreams, expectations and the bigger picture of which we are unavoidably a part. For example:

A European tourist couple comes to a third-world country on vacation. While there, they exist entirely in their own unique universe, hopes, dreams and expectations until they are robbed by a desperate, ghetto dwelling man trying to provide for his family. The European couple is devastated. Their vacation is RUINED! They feel totally victimized and see the entire situation as unfair to THEM. They had nothing to do with what happened to them! How could it possibly be their fault this happened to them! The robber, the third-world island’s law enforcement, government and their economic policies need to take personal responsibility!

And I agree. Every individual in this situation has to take personal responsibility. I just believe that includes the European tourist couple. While they have no control over another individual’s actions, what makes them think that the conditions in that third-world island that fosters an environment that drives desperate criminal acts has zero to do with them and the life they enjoy?

Once you are an active consumer in our capitalist system you are connected to that starving child, African rape victim during militia unrest over precious minerals, homeless indigenous tribe who watched their rainforest decimated. As participants in an unfair and failed system we cannot be exempt from the karmic repercussions however they find us. When they do, we must temper our suffering with some perspective.

If that European couple were to step outside a narrow, subjective viewpoint that only accommodates the supremacy of their hopes, dreams, and expectations it is easy to see that they have deliberately or unwittingly accepted a number of false assumptions. Topmost among those false assumptions is that it is somehow their right to be able to enjoy an uninterrupted lifestyle of luxury in a poor country with desperate people who do not benefit from the tourism industry because of Government corruption, exploitative foreign debt and unfair trade.

How many false assumptions are we nursing that are based on our subjective awareness? Better yet, are we so over-involved in our little universe that we forget the world out there? It seems so.

Do you think that because you are an attractive, educated black woman you are exempt from being approached by less desirable men? Does it overly offend you? Then you need to- GET OVER YOURSLEF!

Do you think that because you have money and gadgets to flaunt it makes you cool and interesting and you get offended when certain people still do not seem impressed by you? Then you need to GET OVER YOURSELF!

Do you think that because you truly believe you’ve found the “true religion” and it has done wonderful things in your life that people must listen, believe and convert whenever you preach to them or else something must be wrong with them? Then you need to GET OVER YOURSELF!

A good exercise is to read the UN Declaration of Human Rights. It helps to put your false assumptions about what you are entitled to on this planet into perspective, set your benchmark for gratitude a lot lower and thus make it more attainable which makes you more empowered to focus on real problems.

Let me tell you, on many occasions I too need to GET OVER MYSELF! I find that if I don’t do it, sure enough, The Universe will provide one hell of an embarrassing or humbling experience to make me realize that as unique and blessed I think I am, I am still part of this crazy, unpredictable thing called life. The stinky vagrant who annoys me with his unwanted attention ends up being the same one helping me off the floor because in my self-involved fuming, I trip and buss my tail.

In fact, I have a major test of everything I claim to believe coming up. An active construction site full of Caribbean men from the poorer districts is going up right in front of my home. I know from expereince that within those environments, men are raised to gape, soot and throw lewd comments to assert themselves when they see women, even if and especially if it is obvious the female victim would not ever be interested. I know from experience that a woman who looks like me (black with dreadlocks) that lives in an upscale neighborhood is going to be of particular interest and then particular affront to that particular brand of black, male ego when I show no interest in the cat-calls. Sharing a house with my white, female life-partner isn't going to help either.

I am not thin-skinned. I am not even afraid to the point of wanting to move. I have the knowledge. I have the spiritual foundation. I am not looking at the situation with myopic entitlement. I see the struggle and hardship those men face. I see their Masculine/Feminine imbalance. I see how much Lack and Fear drives the actions of men who harang women relentlessly and/or are homophobic and feel deep insult by lesbians or interracial relationships.

But when I come face to face with it, will I be able to maintain inner peace, self-confidence, freedom and a deep sense of security rooted in my inner strength? Can I forgive and turn the other cheek?

Well, I'll keep you posted on that one.

Meanwhile I take comfort in Ras Shorty I, our beloved Trinidadian Soca Music pioneer who recommended that when you are overly frustrated, overly angry that is the time to surrender and just breathe and sing the mantra,
“Om, Shanti, Om”, let it go!

You will feel happier and feel a lot less bullied by the world.

2012 Survival Kit- Masculine Feminine Imbalance- Getting Back Into Balance

2011-09-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

The African community and Diaspora are perhaps the most powerful example of what happens when you deliberately tamper with the Masculine/Feminine balance of an entire group of people to suit the needs of conquest.

Today, the challenges (control, distrust, emotional immaturity, mercenary arrangements, lack of communication, sexual dishonesty, low self-esteem, over-dependency) that plague male-female relationships in the African/Diaspora community, yes the same ones comedians like Chris Rock, Dave Chapelle and Rachel Price cleverly highlight through humour, are like a concentrated version of the imbalance that permeates everywhere else in all other cultures and creeds.

The dysfunctional black relationship has been well explored. The factors that contribute to it, less so.

We've suffered a legacy of shame, exploitation and domination manifested as genital mutilation, forcible breeding, ripping families apart, systematic male disempowerment, systematic female dehumanization, sex-slavery and rape, systematic religious and social indoctrination in deep hatred for bodies, indigenous spirituality and sexuality. We experienced the ripping away of The Mother/Divine Feminine from our lives losing our connection to Yemanja, Oshun, Mwai Lisi and also in even more visceral ways- taking land, resources, crops, personhood right under our feet.

The imposition of Arabic and European standards of human sexuality, female beauty & virtue had disastrous consequences on the African continent. Tribes with accepting attitudes towards non-procreative and/or pre-marital sexual activities, homosexuality, polygamy, matrilineal land ownership, female shamanism reaped a world of dysfunction and disease trying to implement foreign standards.

Our societies are still slow to accept the counter-arguments against patriarchal oppression, particularly in the deeply Christian Caribbean. Black men still try to measure success and self-worth by how well they emulate colonial patriarchal ideals of dominion over the female and black women are trying to gain security and status like colonial women do by acquisition of a Daddy/Master/Provider.

Even when we try to reclaim African heritage, we continue to rate our level of self-fulfillment and gender expression based on a system that never accepted us as human in the first place. For this reason, true love, spiritual enlightenment continues to elude many of us and we continue to cannibalize one another.

The destruction of the Alpha/Divine Feminine is discussed in this lecture given by Eve Ensler, who actually gives it the nickname, “Girl” and elaborates on how we (men and women) have all destroyed the “Girl” and the consequences of doing so. Her accounts of what is happening in Africa are heartwrenching.

Now, in no way shape or form am I saying that the indigenous sexuality and gender relations in various African cultures were idyllic, perfectly enlightened and balanced before colonial occupation and the slave trade.

The ugly, less popular truth that indigenous culture apologists overlook is that imbalance already existed within African, Indian, Native American, Aboriginal and pagan European societies. If there were no weakness, our ancestors would have been far too powerful for the even more imbalanced Judeo-Christian/Abrahamic colonial powers to conquer. That is the how powerful Ishvara (The Divine State of Perfect Balance Between Masculine and Feminine) can be.

When colonialists encountered the “Barbarian ” and “New” worlds, they found that our forefathers were already infected with false pride, greed and racism/tribalism. It was easy to make this sales pitch, “Forget Mother Goddess and you will become a God like we are! Your enemies will not be able to hurt you. Your women will not be able to hold you accountable. Our religion will teach you how. Our system will teach you how.”

The ugly less popular truth is that many tribes were already losing The Mother and distracted with war and conquest and easily pitted against each other by European and Arabic powers, far more experienced in strategies of war and conquest. What made Islam, Christianity and its accompanying economic power structure particularly actually attractive to our ancestral male tribal chiefs was the military might and technology of the colonial powers gained by eliminating the check and balance of having to answer to Mother.

Colonialism was basically seasoned tyrants empowering young and upcoming tyrants to reject their Mother and once they did, they were betrayed and mired in testosterone-fuelled pissing contests. And it just so happened that the European and Arabic tyrants were more brilliant at pissing contests. But not because of innate racial or cultural superiority as often claimed by religious bigots, racists or Manifest Destiny apologists.

The seeming victory of European/Christian and Arab/Muslim colonialists had everything to do their systems of economy and governance strongly focused on over-hunting, over-harvesting and hoarding as well as an unfathomable hunger for power. Coming from the harsh wintery and/or desert plagued parts of the world, European and Middle Eastern cultures had to push harder against nature in order to survive. They suffered lack of food, warmth, sunlight, water for months. This drove the innovation of technology for conquest of nature (both land and human) by sheer necessity.

The best conquerors over Mother Earth (including her people) gained not just survival but eventually, power. Unfortunately, some used this to oppress others and institute a class system, with the upper class, becoming like vampires feeding off powerless serfs and gaining a perverted amount of power. This resulted in the envious serfs developing an unquenchable thirst to be part of the vampire class.

This vampirism also manifested in pockets in the “New World”. Caribs committed genocide against Arawaks. The Aztecs captured other tribes and literally built their empires on their blood and bones. African tribes clashed in bloodly, gut-curdling battles. Different Asian clans had spats, millennia old. The only difference is that it was far more contained, again, not because of Native Indians, Africans and South Pacific peoples being innately more compassionate than Europeans and Arabs but because they were also products of their geography.

Unlike the flatter, less obtrusive Eurasian Continent, Mediterranean, Northern Africa and Middle East which allowed the conquest and hoarding to spread, Equatorial Africa, Southern Asia, South and Central America and all the various islands had daunting geographical barriers to large-scale military invasive action.

Even Alexander The Great could not contend with rainforest, deep green gorges and sudden mountains, mile-wide rivers swollen with monsoon rains, mosquitoes and guerilla-style warfare.

There was also less of a culture of hoarding, not because these so called, “primitive” societies were less ambitious, lazy or less intelligent but because they had no geographical/cultural reason to do such things. They lived in abundant parts of the planet with year-round sunshine, lush, green forest with all its bounty, rivers and seas teaming with fish. Anything that was not consumed would rapidly rot in the hot, humid climate.

What was deemed “primitive”, "lazy" or "unlearned" was basically a common-sense, Mother-Earth Balanced, approach to survival. Travel light, take only what you need and what Mother will provide.

This balanced interdependence resulted in a spirituality where and man was not seen as higher than nature and therefore imbued with the right to absolute dominion over it. It developed a different value system about self-fulfillment as illustrated in the story below.

“And then what?”

A Wall Street Executive on vacation alighted from a luxury cruise line that just made port in a sleepy Mexican village, where fishing has been part of the culture since the time of the Mayans. It is mid-afternoon as he walks along the beach and sees a group of fishermen having a siesta under the palm trees.

“Man! That looks like the life!” he cannot help but exclaim.
“Si señor! Life is good!” says one of the fishermen.
“So are you done working for the day?” asks the Wall Street executive incredulously.
“Si señor! We get up at the crack of dawn, take the boats out. Come back mid-morning with fish, prawns, lobster for the village. Then we repair nets and then we siesta. Later we will eat a nice meal from our catch, drink tequila, play music, play cards with our amigos, enjoy family, make love to our women and sleep. Get up do it again,”

“But! You guys! You have no idea what you have here! The potential!” says the Wall Street executive, “This whole operation! It could be so much bigger if you just have some vision! Some ambition!”
The fisherman, laughs and decides to indulge the American.
“Tell me señor, what is your vision?”
“Well,” begins the Wall Street Executive, happy to share his expertise, “Instead of fishing for just four hours a day. Why not fish for eight hours! Catch more fish! Sell more fish! Make more money!”
“And then what?”
“Well, then you can buy some more boats and hire more people to fish and make more money,”
“And then what?”
“Well, you can form a fishing company, exporting fish all over the world and if it gets big enough, you can trade it on Wall Street and make millions! Billions even!” the Executive shares getting increasingly excited.
“And then what?” asks the fisherman
“Then you can retire and just relax and enjoy life and fish because you enjoy it,”
“But señor, that is what I am doing right now…with a lot less stress, less damage to the ocean and more time to spend with my woman and children. Enjoy your vacation.”

The European and Arabic colonialists saw indigenous peoples as primitive, lazy, lacking ambition and therefore undeserving of their beautiful land and ripe for plundering. “If you don’t want it! If you aren’t using it to get POWER to get MORE to get POWER to get MORE! Then by all means let ME take it!”

The rest is history.

Patriarchy’s Omega focus is not inherently evil, just as the male sex drive is not inherently evil. There must be some level of penetration and destruction for creative and innovative enterprise to be. However, the Capitalism/Colonialism Apologists who argue that their systems are superior to Communal/Naturist ones are seriously mistaken.

The survival instinct that drove Patriarchal over-hunting, over-harvesting and hoarding may have been valid at some time when we were at the mercy of wild animals, starvation, thirst and unfamiliar/unpredictable Mother Nature. But when we do not evolve spiritually as we evolve technologically, these seemingly valid feelings of lack and fear become falsehoods and lead to dysfunction.

We are still in “hoarding-mode” when there is no need for it.

The problem is not penetrating and impregnating Mother Nature. It is doing so against her will and not giving Her enough respect to allow this process to be done as She chooses so she can also maintain her balance. They don’t call it raping Mother Earth for nothing. Sure at first it feels like victory, just like dominating a woman feels like victory. But the truth is that there is not a predator alive that circumvent Mother’s bitch-slap of “No! I do not want that!” otherwise known as bio-feedback.

Everything about the way our planet is responding is just like how a woman responds when she is repeatedly humiliated, used and abused. At first she seems beaten down but there is a turning point when victim becomes avenger, prey becomes predator.

In order to regain the balance which creates the power that sustains Life, Mother Nature, will go as far as to do a kamakazi. Mother is life AND death. Mother can be re-born. She’s taken on comets, global melt-downs and ice-ages….and Life always returns because the ingredients for Life are within every spec of star-dust in the Universe. There is no Yang without the Yin. The superiority of Western, Judeo/Christian/Abrahamic cultures is just an illusion and not worth defending at the expense of human rights and the planet’s health. If we are survive another generation on this planet we must learn how to rebalance, starting with ourselves by tackling the False Fears and Lack still driving our actions.
So let’s do that now, shall we?

FALSE FEAR OF “LOSS”/REJECTION

WHY IS IT FALSE?
It ignores/forgets the Universal Law of Attraction, Consequence, Infinity, Eternity, Momentum.

UNBALANCED RESULT:
(Active) Domination, possessiveness, jealousy, envy (Passive) apathy, powerlessness, self-pity, guilt

SURVIVAL KIT SPIRITUAL POWER UPS:
From Christ to Buddha, spiritual teachers have tried to help us unmask the illusion of “Ownership” and get it through our head that we brought nothing into this world neither can we take anything out. Every individual is on their OWN journey and has their OWN relationship with The Divine/Universe which has ultimate dominion. Therefore dominion over another is an illusion. We reap exactly what we sow and when we cannot circumvent this Universal Law, without bringing suffering to ourselves and others.

Re-balancing Your Ambitions/Ego(Men & Women)

Affirmation
“I am a child of the Universe. I accept that the Law of Attraction is active in my life. There is no need for me to steal, force or try to hasten the timing, quantity or quality of what I receive thereby creating imbalance and suffering in the world. I attract to me things and people in perfect balance. I become stronger in my ability to do this and feel strong, content and well esteemed. My success is real because it is based on real benchmarks of- self-mastery, selflessness, self-esteem, self-sufficiency.”

Challenges
• Go without your material possessions, food, status and see if still feel good about who you are and know who you are.
• Rejoice in another’s success without feeling jealous, competitive.
• Invest in the planet in whatever way you can.

Re-balancing Your Sexual Attractions/Love (Men)

Affirmation
“My inner Yin soul thrives on unconditional love. I need my soul-mate/love/spouse/friend to love me for real. I do not need to seek emotional security through dishonest, disrespectful, inhumane, mercenary or domineering means. When someone gives me their love freely from a place of strength it makes me stronger.”

Challenges
• Set the one you love and desire free and see if they will decide to love you without you trying to influence or destroy their freewill.
• Seek love/friendship without using pea-cockery or presenting your status as a sales pitch.
• Lose or limit your involvement with people in your life who do not love you unconditionally.
• Give love/friendship to at least one person without wanting anything back in return.

Re-balancing Your Sexual Attractions/Love (Women)

Affirmation
“My inner Yang soul thrives on freedom. I want my soul-mate/love/spouse/friend to allow me my self-actualization. I do not need to seek emotional security through being subservient, using my sexuality or being dishonest about how smart I am or squashing my strong opinions or dreams. I want someone who appreciates my strength.”

Challenges
• Embrace your intellect, ambition, power and freedom and see if the one you love will continue to love you without you trying to dominate you.
• Seek love/friendship without using any games, hiding your personality, intelligence or power
• Lose or limit your involvement with people in your life who do not love you unconditionally.
• Give love/friendship to at least one person without wanting anything back in return.

Re-balancing Your Spirituality (Men & Women)

Affirmation
“The Divine is both Male and Female. Great Mother, I know now I am not a Motherless child. You are alive! You are active in my life! I will no longer ignore You. I will seek You out. Please reveal yourself to me. I will be open to Your signs. I will honor You with equal fervor as I honor Your Male Counterpart. I will show gratitude for Your blessings.”

Remember your Mother. She is there under the surface of many "God-only" traditions.

Challenges
• Expand your spiritual knowledge and reclaim The Goddess. Find out who, why, how She was forgotten and destroyed and honor Her once more in whatever capacity you can.
• (For men) See the women in your life as having spiritual power in their own right and respect their words of healing, wisdom, power.
• (For women) Take up your rightful spiritual place alongside your brothers. You have spiritual power and wisdom. Use it!

The False Fear of Loss/Rejection is not the only one that causes us to go out of balance. In the next 2012 Survival Kit we will explore Fear in its entirety.

It is my hope that after the Fear Essays we will be ready to take on the challenges the future will present as the old system collapses around us and we are called to fight fearlessly (to the death if necessary) for truth, justice, equality and true freedom.

Survival Kit 2012- Masculine Feminine Imbalance- Patriarchy’s Phobias, Isms and Schisms

2011-07-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

If you read the first essay you know now that when I attack patriarchy I am not attacking its inherently good values but the ills that stem from an unbalanced, skewed version of it. Make no mistake a skewed version of matriarchy would be just as bad. Unlike many feminists, the ideal for me is not a “Women Rule The World” scenario like the Beyoncé video, but one where there is balance. The longstanding oppression of women is no excuse for us repaying in kind when we are given power.

Men are also victims of unbalanced Patriarchy and the solution is not unbalanced Matriarchy.

Most importantly, when I attack lopsided patriarchy I am also not attacking men. Remember that men are also the victims of viral patriarchy just as much and perhaps even more than women. Remember that we all have masculine and feminine within us and need both sides celebrated, recognized, expressed in order to be healthy. Stamping out the feminine in men has hurt them severely just as oppressing the masculinity in women has hurt us.

So relax!

If you are a man reading this and are tired of bitter, male-bashing women in your professional life or the important female in your life who is currently making you miserable with all manner of desperate emotional, sexual and psychological attack and control please take a deep breath and put aside your hurting and personal issues.

It is very hard for men dealing with being at the mercy of a woman's dysfunctions and demands to support anything remotely feminist. The values of the patriarchy often gives them their only shred of self-esteem.

I know you men have it hard, though you try to hide it. I know you are very fragile emotional creatures under all that machismo. Worst of all you are ashamed of your inner vulnerability. Thanks to lifelong socialization within this system, you think the only respectable way of easing the pressure on the emotional valve is through drugs, abusing others or suicide. Certainly not relying on another, admitting weakness and allowing someone to nurture you. That's only for “sissy boys”.

Do not be surprised that is it so hard to admit that there is indeed a vulnerable person within you (your Divine Feminine, Yin Element) without feeling intense shame. Shame after all is the primary weapon of choice by the skewed patriarchal system. Shame makes us go out of equilibrium with the original Divine Masculine and Feminine that was perfectly balanced in us when we were born.

Breathe. This blog is neutral ground, a safe space.
So, what essentially is at the heart of warped patriarchy? First...

Different But Equal

When you argue with someone who happens to be passionately defensive of the patriarchal status quo they ultimately point to the fact that men deserve to be large and in charge because they are bigger, stronger and even smarter. They will point to the great feats of architecture, technology and conquest and claim they were spearheaded and achieved not by women but by men.

And any man who argues this is right…but only partially.

There has been an overemphasis and celebration only of certain male attributes, skills and professions deemed most important to exploitative empire building by the unchecked patriarchal system which has never been about preserving our planet, protecting the human rights of our people and ensuring all are provided for.

The average man is pound for pound brawnier than the average woman. Their societal gender indoctrination has helped them to be better analysts, innovators, movers and shakers in the subjects and skills deemed most useful to trade, industry and exploitative empire building.

Women on the other hand are smaller in mass. Our biological and hormonal make-up makes us more intuitive and extremely resourceful and detailed practitioners of whatever skill or knowledge we are allowed to learn. But remember that for a long time we were allowed to learn very little. In fact in some parts of the world, it is still dangerous for a girl to go to school. For a long time, the only thing we were prized for was our ability to please a man, incubate “his” babies, nurse them and do household duties.

Now, there is nothing wrong with any of these things in of themselves when chosen freely by a woman who wants and loves such duties. However, they are not the extent of a women’s full human potential and not all women past and present if given a choice and enabled from young to see limitless possibilities would willingly choose that role as their only function in life. Men, imagine if your ONLY role as a man was limited to just rutting, inseminating and protecting harems of females. Imagine if that was considered to be the full extent of your value and human potential. See how demeaning that is?

Our soul calling and our sexuality is far more complex than which pole goes in which hole to make babies. Men and women have the need to dream, create, think, express, lead, explore, learn and contribute in other ways.

In their marriage ceremony, the Archbishop of Canterbury put at the very top of the priorities of HRH Prince William and Kate's marriage, not love, not soul perfection, but creating children. Her Highness is expected to service the British Empire by producing an heir and a spare or else. From the poorest woman in a rural village to the Princess of England, a woman’s ability to conceive has been treated as her most important duty.

There was a time women fought and hunted right alongside our fathers, brothers, husbands and lovers and physical strength was prized in the female as a benefit to the entire tribe. A weak, prissy, little delicate lady in need of constant protection would have been a tremendous burden in a world of harsh survival. There is no way the human race came this far if women could not hold their own, create tools, explore and experiment with new herbs, protect her young and find food and shelter.

Cavewoman nookie was not as easy to get by force as it is often portrayed.

Prehistoric women had not yet been "tamed" into helpless, demure little ladies so they could also fight back violently if they were not interested in male sexual advances. Her sexual preferences had to be at least respected because rape was not an easy resort to take. It could cost a man his eye or worse.

Patriarchy- The Answer To Female Rejection

Unbalanced patriarchy exploits a natural, primal, evolutionary Omega constant- the fittest will survive.

However, it ignores the natural Alpha check and balance which is “ladies choice.”

Patriarchy is a war with the role of female choice in natural selection. whether that female is woman or Mother Earth.

Early man saw Mother Nature playing before his eyes in the animal kingdom. He saw the rut, the hunt and what happened to males that did not measure up. It was brutal. The males had to be strong hunters, strong sportsmen and spar for the female's affection. Victors got to pass on their genes. Losers got to die off. Even after conception, a mother who was not satisfied her offspring was viable enough would eat it or abandon it to die, his daddy be damned.

Nature was our first teacher but in the application, men and women discovered that they were far more complex beings. Our relationships were not as rudimentary as two males clash, victor gets guaranteed pussy and she bears him all his babies. In fact, biologists are now finding out that it was never even as clear cut as that in the animal kingdom either. Furthermore, unlike the animals, humans have far-reaching, stronger emotional and spiritual needs.

Early man discovered that he actually preferred to be loved, accepted, embraced and desired by the woman he desired. He wanted her love him freely. He wanted her to love the children he sired and delight in nursing them. That is the Yin Consciousness within him, the Divine Feminine, vulnerable, emotional, sensitive and just side of a man. He discovered that although his physical strength meant he could force sex, he could not force a woman to desire, love and respect him or love the children he helped conceive.

Not even the richest most powerful man in the world can force a woman to love him as captured beautifully in The Song of Solomon.

As for women, they discovered that a man’s physical prowess alone was not enough, even if it might excite them during their most fertile time of the month. They did not feel as enamored with muscles and uncompromisingly insistent dick outside that fertile window. Neither did they want to be ruled over or dominated because within their smaller skulls was an extremely dynamic, intuitive brain.

Good genetic stock and high penile performance during ovulation, YES. But for the rest of the month, brain power, nurturing, communication are far more important to women.

From the Lady McBeths to the Hillary Clintons, that inner male Yang Consciousness within all women is extremely shrewd. It is said that it is better to have a ruthless man after you than a ruthless woman. Throughout history, women have plotted, schemed and delivered brilliant bedside assistance to men in their political manipulations from king’s courts to boardrooms. They were the ghost-writers of many volumes of wisdom. They were the innovators and inventors of herbal medicines and many tools.

It was not enough for the man to just flaunt his muscles, win contests of strength or dominate sexually, he had to seduce our detailed, observant, ambitious Yang Consciousness as well. This trait of ours helped to save many men who were not necessarily the physical alpha of the pack or had lost their appeal due to old age, injury or sickness. They could still win the undying love of many women just by mastering the art of appealing to her Divine Masculine mind.

How? Through humor, cleverness and creativity.

The art of seduction and masterful use of language and music could make a woman drop her prehistoric panties. Men who bothered to master these things became shrewder. It was iron sharpening iron in every sense and they passed down these smarts to their offspring even if they could not always pass down the best physical features.

Wisdom was once a trait most prized in women. The ultimate Divine archetype of knowledge is almost always represented by a female Diety- Sophia, Shakti, Athena and The Muses, Anansi

The genetic line between beauty and brains began to be drawn.

We must thank the prehistoric ugly and wimpy men who could not compete with the handsome, brawny jocks. They along with their women gave us culture and politics. Puny men and women innovated ways to compensate for the brute strength they both lacked- the wheel, the lever, the pulley, better long distance weapons, better hunting and gathering strategies, problem solving, craftsmanship, artistry and so agriculture and commerce were invented.

Innovating the use of and teaching of how to use tools has been observed primarily among the females and lesser males among the smartest mammals.

Even though men and women had more criteria to judge suitability which now included entirely new things like education, wealth and political power, the core issue still had not been resolved.

Insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness were still serious challenges, particularly for men (attractive and not) who had not learned how to master the art of winning a woman’s love and wooing her Masculine mind.

Some men decided that if they could not get real love, they would settle for a Stockholm Syndrome kind of devotion. They discovered that after enough abuse, loss of identity, harassment, confinement, powerlessness, a woman could be broken down.

To this day there are some men who only know how to deal with women this way because that is how they were taught by their fathers, religious leaders, society. Tear the female down utterly and then reassemble her as a faithful slave. Volumes have been written in almost every culture on how a man can dominate a woman until she cracks and he can then “manage” her as if she were a child or livestock.

Many men make a very good effort not to resort to this but sometimes all it takes is the slightest bit of rejection or resistance for the fragile male ego to hurt so much, they step right back into their father’s shoes.

Patriarchy- The Dominion Enabler

The growing innovation, commerce and agriculture made human populations settle, multiply, quickly use up land and spread out even more. Tribes began to come into conflict with one another because of competition for the best land. The time of empires and wars had arrived. Patriarchy took on a whole new role.

Now it was about more than just protection against female rejection, it would also help to ensure that clans, tribes, nations were populous enough to supply large, strong armies and bounce back faster after a military decimation or overcome oppressive colonialism through a population explosion. How? Place women in a position where they did nothing else but breed and tend a nursery of children who would become future soldiers for the empire. This was her primary duty until she died or her fertile years were over or her husband/master lost all desire, whichever came first.

Patriarchal polygamy began to be practiced.

The power of female selectivity, sexuality, reproductive choice and her sharp Divine Masculine mind are anathema to empire-building.

How do you turn strong, smart, sexually selective women into desperately dependent breed mares? You cut off all their power- their sexual power (FGM), power of choice (arranged marriage), power of intellect (denial of education, exclusion from decision making), physical power (exclusion from hunting, warrior activities, overprotecting, fattening, cloistering, encumbering her movement), financial power (denying her enterprise, inheritance or ownership of property), reproductive power (killing midwives who supplied contraceptive and abortive herbal potions) and last but not least her spiritual power (destroying the Goddess, denouncing the role of priestess, witch, wise woman and placing the female on the lowest rank of Divine hierarchy (see the Apostle Paul) so she could not ever claim to have Divine authority.)

Humans have always been polyarmorous with monogamy being the exception not the norm. Both heterosexual men and women are driven biologically to diversify their reproductive encounters. Men feel the urge to sow their seed among many women. Women feel the urge to always select the fittest male during her fertile window. This is what Mother Nature wants! However, Patriarchy is all about circumventing Mother Nature to protect male ego.

The always ready, willing and affectionate prostitute became a necessity for men whose inner Yin still needed to feel loved, desired and know their bodies and sex is being enjoyed by the woman. They could not get that from their wives as marriages were now arranged and women were just doing "their duty".

When women became breed mares, they became commodities to be passed unspoilt from father to husband, often with no choice in the matter. It also became important to ensure she only conceived offspring to her husband (more on why later)even though naturally, she felt desires for other men and sometimes that did not include the man she was forced to marry. Men of course, could continue to pursue their happy seed sowing as exceptions were ALWAYS made for their libido, either take additional wives or visit a prostitute.

It was not just women who were harmed by this but men as well. Now that women were commodities and slaves, male/female relationships became more calculated, deceptive and mercenary. Remember that men need to know and feel genuinely loved and desired. In fact, in civilizations that institutionalized prostitution for social or religious reasons, prostitutes were trained in the art of making men feel exactly that way. It became a precious kind of skill in a world of arranged marriages, females merely doing their “duty” and men no longer interested in or needing the art of pleasing a woman as he could just buy one.

In the new system ALL men were required to be soldiers ever ready to defend and expand the wealth and sovereignty of their lord, king, raja, sheik and the religious hierarchy that kept everyone in their place. Just read the Old Testament and you will see that the most barbaric ways were employed if necessary.

The Yin Consciousness inside of all men is anathema to the hard hearted, unjust, cruel empire building which requires them to seize land, kill children and oppress people ultimately for the enrichment of a few high ranking families.

In many ways, men suffered more because unbalanced patriarchy dealt them a double blow:
- Over-protection of an ego made increasingly overinflated and yet fragile when it comes to self-image, sexual appeal and sexual rejection.
- Hardening of the heart, dulling of the conscience, allowing something as powerful as testosterone to go into overdrive.
- No healthy and healing outlet for their emotional pain as a result because emotion was considered feminine and therefore weak.

The Aftermath

We know all about the horror stories of female oppression, so I want to focus instead on what damage was done to the men. Starting with:

Feeling Abandoned By Divine Mother

Have you ever met a man who grew up without the love of a human mother figure? They latch on to any woman who makes them feel safe with a kind of possessive desperation. The reverse happens to women who grew up without any father figure. Well imagine growing up without your Divine Mother and you can see why society is in the state it is in.
All that is material, comforting, pleasurable and nourishing has become the substitute for THE Mother and we are overindulging and sucking Mother Earth’s breasts dry and speaking of sucking Mother Earth’s breasts…

Infantile, Self-Centered Lovemaking

Men should be expected to have a healthy, testosterone driven libido. However disconnection from their Yin Consciousness prevents any further mastery of their mojo into something more emotionally developed, controlled and masterful.

Remember the early men who had to discover the art of seduction in order to compete with the brawny jocks? Well patriarchy undid any need for wooing a woman's Masculine Mind or being a skillful lover. As a result, a large number of men attractive and unattractive alike, are in a state of infantile drooling and premature ejaculation which is a turn off.

Such men are insecure around women because they are incapable of seduction and often demonize the “wizened woman”, the divorcee, the playgirl. Shows like Sex And The City infuriate them. Unlike the confident male sexual sophisticate who has learned enough empathy, technique and self-mastery to please an experienced woman, the drooling, sexual man-child likes his women virginal, clueless, girlish so she cannot judge his poor lovemaking skills and/or so desperate she has no other option but to put up with his clumsy, self-centered attempts at sex.

Unresolved Self-Image Issues

We often marvel how handsome or powerful married men who can have any beautiful woman or already have beautiful wives will still go cheat with a fat crack whore or the less attractive intern, nanny or maid. The thing is when it comes right down to basic, biologically driven, magnetic lust, women are always pickier. We need appealing smell, pleasing appearance, seduction skills and some indication of prowess physical, sexual, intellectual, financial just to get aroused enough for sex.

I can guarantee that some man has, is or will tap this.

It sounds crass but if the ugliest, most obese woman on the block, pulled down her panties and was giving it away, some man will take up her offer. Yes, even female vagrants get laid. Male vagrants? A little wine-up on J’ouvert is the best they can do.

Body image is deceptively more important to men than they let on because they know how important it is to women. Men just internalize a lot of the pain and insecurity they feel. That suppressed dissatisfaction is dangerous because the resentment is often channeled in destructive ways.

Stuck With Atrophied, Damaged, Dysfunctional Females

Patriarchy has seriously damaged women. We never stop to consider what men must now contend with because of women who are now:

- Mercenary, needy with low self-esteem and desperation expressed in passive aggressive ways that wear down and emasculate men
- Immature and/or prudish, frigid which deeply frustrates men who are sex positive
- Nursing unused ambition and wounded ego through bitterness, catty, backstabbing, gossiping and petty social game play with other females
- Indecisive, dumb and helpless making men feel overburdened with the full load of planning, protecting and providing
- Desperate users of sex and reproduction as their only currency which makes men feel distrustful, trapped and resentful
- Damaged by emotional, sexual and physical abuse and unable to love freely.

A well-meaning man who has been run-over by the batshit female bus usually does not want to hear anything about how bad women have it. As far as he is concerned, women are on a warpath of destruction! But the truth is, women are fighting to survive and acheive some kind of self-worth by any means necessary.

The sad thing is that the women who have enlightened and liberated themselves from such tendencies are usually the women that terrify most men because they are too smart, too spiritual, too sexually free and too successful for most men's wounded egos to handle.

Always Uncertain Of Her Heart

A slave cannot truly love a Master unconditionally with the freest will.

Imagine the burden of the man who must undertake dominating a woman under the illusion it is his God-given role. It is tiresome work! Especially if he is using such conditional, controlling means while hoping to receive genuine love in return.

It is ever present in his mind that her choices are not entirely free. Therefore he cannot ever know for sure:
Do I really have her unprompted love, desire, devotion or is she just doing what she must to survive or gain some social standing? If she were as free as a man, would she still choose me?

Funny how the most controlling societies are also the most suspicious and unforgiving of women. It is as if they know that tighter you hold the spring between your fingers the further away it will fly if it gets the smallest bit of release.

Isms and Phobias

Racism/Xenophobia

When tribes and empires began competing for supremacy and domination, it resulted in an increasing clannish/tribal protectionism. Oppressed tribes formed a common solidarity that became a source of racial pride. This could become warped into a growing US vs. THEM culture. Even so, this is not the worse kind of racism there is.

The really virulent, entrenched kind of racism is closely linked to male heads of households trying to secure a PURE patriarchal lineage through which they could eventually grow wealth and power and if lucky be reborn to enjoy it.

When empires came into being, not all families ascended to the upper echelons of power. For those who did not acquire wealth in their lifetime, there was the hope that through successive generations they could one day do so. In the skewed patriarchal system, the main goal is acquisition of power and dominance. It is everything!

The burden of patriarchal legacy denies children their right to freedom and self-actualization.

Fear of death is very strong (more on that a few paragraphs down) in patriarchal societies so finding ways to be eternal is a big deal. Trying to live on through name, legacy and genetics required the creation of a male heir who would be an exact replica of the father, carry out the father’s unfulfilled dreams, grow the father’s wealth and carry on the father’s legacy. An exact replica meant that men wanted their children and grandchildren to look just like them. In fact the patriarch of the family would often not recognize any children that did not seem to be of his lineage.

So of course, interracial coupling produced more dissimilar results. Also women who were unfaithful were easier to identify and punish if their “hornerman” was from another race once the incriminating offspring was born.

Today, this kind of racism is still very much alive. In fact, I still maintain the only way to identify a real racist is the test of interracial couples or children.

Classism

Remember the very first definition of unbridled patriarchy? Survival of the fittest WITHOUT the checks and balances of choice? Classism is the societal and economic manifestation of this.

It is not that hierarchy is inherently wrong. It is just that with great power comes great responsibility.

The head male gorilla may enjoy the best vantage point, first pick of females, first pick of food BUT all of this privilege comes with a heavy responsibility and a heavy price. He has all the power in order to SERVE his fellow troop. That is Mother Nature’s check and balance.

In a system that has attempted to foil Mother Nature and fly in the face of Universal Balance, we have the most privileged 1% in America who do not want to pay taxes. The custodians of the empire do not go and fight their wars but send poor, young men and women to die for them. We have people who actually feel comfortable living in ostentatious wealth while surrounded by poverty. We have people who really think that wealth and fame is for their own self-esteem and not tools of power GIFTED to them to be USED to help maintain a more beautiful, balanced planet.

Homophobia

In a truly balanced world, gender would be as nature intended- diverse. Love would be love no matter the gender. The roles and responsibilities we gave people would be based on their demonstration of their abilities and talents not whether they had a penis or vagina. That includes the roles and responsibilities of parenthood.

Since this is not the case and we have not only presumed what women should always be and what men should always be but decided to forcefully and blindly apply it to everyone we are in part to blame for the easily identifiable screaming queen and diesel dyke.

The most entrenched form of homophobia comes from those who resent the fact that homosexuals flaunt the truth about the Masculine/Feminine Imbalance that exists in the world. They flaunt the truth, that our gender roles are not distinct, dual and set in stone but diffuse, diverse and dynamic.

Those of us who believe in reincarnation see them as souls desperately seeking to rebalance in this life. Victims of patriarchy; the helpless, girlish, superficial bimbette reborn as a man and the brutish, emotionally repressed, testosterone led tool is reborn as a big breasted woman. It is the Universe seeking balance.

Those of us closer to that balance- the true bisexuals, gender neutral, Ishvara souls can clearly see why those who bravely live out a seeming mockery of the gender stereotypes should be celebrated. We clearly see why they spark the ire of those still slaves to the stereotypes and depend on them for a sense of identity, purpose and perimeters.

The heterosexual woman who has blindly bought into the "domestic Goddess", "husband's helpmate" role as her only purpose in life and has been forced to channel all her unspent intellect and ambition on emotionally controlling her children and socially controlling other women with underhanded catty games just to feel some kind of power, is forced to take a good, long hard look at her life when she encounters a lesbian, especially one who is just as feminine and beautiful as she.

Yet the lesbian is truly her OWN WOMAN, belongs to no man, follows her passions, expresses her talents, makes her own way, loves other women, promotes sisterhood instead of trying to compete for male attention. Now the heterosexual domestic goddess and Queen Bee is forced to ask herself, "What is my excuse?"

The same goes for the heterosexual man who has blindly bought into the "boys never cry," and "men only do manly things" who encounters the manly fairy.

Some straight people let the experience free them and open a whole new world. Others run screaming from it, deeply resentful at the gay person for contradicting their life choices and beliefs about how they are supposed to be as men or women, even if those beliefs on closer examination are not making them and the vast majority of heterosexuals truly happy and fulfilled.

Thanatophobia (Fear Of Death)

Memory is of the Feminine Divine. Call it what you will, the Alpha, the mitochondrial factor, the XX factor. The most important kind of knowledge/memory there is, is the awareness of one’s eternity.

Only an active awareness of the Divine Feminine allows humans to embrace the complete circle (Death and Rebirth) without fear. Humans with this kind of awareness can see death just like puberty or menopause, a natural process. They can embrace the contrast between light and dark. They can revere the deep, strong currents of the river that provides fish but which can also sweep a child under to the next world.

Kali, Goddess of Death and Creation.

Awareness of the complete circle also makes it possible to surrender to experiences that make the spiritual a very tactile thing. One begins to see that the veil separating the physical and spiritual is extremely thin which of course opens up whole new realms of exploration fiercely forbidden by single Male Divine Parented Judeo Christianity which is only concerned with stimulating the waist up. Speaking of which…

Erotophobia (Fear Of Sexual Pleasure

Orgasm is called the “little death” but if you are afraid of death period and therefore afraid to surrender, afraid to embrace vulnerability, afraid to free fall and disconnect into pure sensation from the waist down, then the full power of the little death will continue to elude you.

This kind of dysfunction has affected primarily women. No surprise as they have been sexually repressed with far more consistency and intrusiveness by the patriarchal system. However, anorgasmia (loss of orgasm or inability to have orgasm) is becoming a growing problem among men.

Can you imagine the combined, pent up frustration of a growing number of men who are unable to orgasm? Or who ejaculate with little to no depth of pleasure from the release?

Why Do You Defend It?

Has unbalanced patriarchy done such wonderful good in your life that it is worth defending? Has it made you happier and healthier in all aspects of your life? Has it been able to secure you the freely given, unconditional love of a woman? Has it made you richer? Has it made your country a better place? Or is the truth that other than that top 1% who have always benefitted from this system, you are just another pawn, hanging on to the dream that one day, your son, your grandson will lift your name up to join that 1%?

Are you ready to remedy all of the ills of patriarchal imbalance? Stay tuned, we will explore in the final essay how we all can reconnect to the Mother, how women can tune into their Yang Consciousness and how men can tune into their Yin Consciousness.

Gay Karma

2011-06-18T14:01:00.000-07:00

Never fear fellow aliens, despite my hectic work schedule, some exciting developments are in store.

In addition to the 2012 Survival Kit Series, the time has come for me to use my voice in other ways and add a new dimension to this whole Alien In The Caribbean thing. Stay tuned.

Part 2 of Masculine Feminine Imbalance in the 2012 Survival Kit Series will be up soon but as you know it's currently Gay Pride Month and we are already more than half-way into the month, so I must post something.

I decided this around to post something a little different and I hope more satisfying for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, questioning and straight but not narrow people who read my blog or chance upon it. Enjoy!

One night, on a rain slicked, winding road, a major public figure of a man lost control of his vehicle and slammed into a concrete barrier, dying instantly on impact.

The man was a virulently anti-gay Christian Conservative.

Suddenly he is floating amongst puffy white clouds up to the throne of God for judgment. As if the perfect golden faced cherubs and the celestial splendor was not enough, when he gazed upon the face of the Alpha and Omega, it was if he saw in those stormy Divine irises his entire life play out again before his eyes.

“Oh no, I think I died,” he finally realizes and despite the initial sadness, he could no nothing but marvel at his current position.

Finally, after moment of assessment, God thunders,
“Did you accept my Son as your Lord and Savior and obey his commandments?”
“Yes! Yes! I most certainly did!” the publically upstanding Christian responds with a self-satisfied smile, despite his overwhelming awe.

God leans in, “Are you sure about that?”
“Oh Yes Sir! I am 110% sure! I remember the day I was moved by the spirit and accepted Christ! I got baptized just weeks later after studying your Holy Word! Oh yes! Well…sometimes I might slip up but I put my sins on the blood of the Lamb and prayed for forgiveness! I fought against all immorality and obscenity whenever I could! I battled with your enemy Satan in the media and pop culture! I did my best to protect your Christian families My Lord.”
“Did you obey my Son’s commandment? “
“Er…which one?”
“The most important one!” God reiterates getting a little impatient, “The one that fulfills EVERYTHING! The sum of it all! The perfect distillation of EVERYTHING!”
“Er…remind me again please M’Lord?”
“Love The Lord God with your whole heart, mind and soul and love your neighbor as yourself!” God recites.
The Conservative Christian lights up,
“Ahh that one! Yes! Yes! I obeyed that! I am pretty sure I did!”
“So you loved ALL your neighbors?” God probes, stroking his white beard.
“Oh yes God!”
“Even those whom you considered different from you? Even those you considered to be your enemies? Because my Son made it very clear he meant your enemies too!”

The Conservative Christian begins to look a little unsure and nervously shuffles his feet and mumbles,
“I guess,”
“So you didn’t deliberately try to spread things that were defaming, dishonest or unnecessarily hurtful about anyone with whom you found objectionable? You didn’t try to make their lives miserable and foster hatred against them? You did not try to deny them housing, employment, insurance and equal protection before your law? You wouldn’t for example try to pressure a company to deny them and their loved ones pension or support laws that did not allow them from visiting their loved ones in hospital? Or support experimental psychological programs that result in severe emotional damage and even suicide. That is not, ‘Loving your neighbor as yourself,’ right?”

Researchers from Columbia University surveyed 31,852 Oregon high school juniors, asking them about their sexual orientation and history of suicide attempts. They also looked at whether or not schools have gay-straight alliance groups and anti-bullying and anti-discrimination policies. In terms of hard numbers, 25 percent of homosexual students tried -- at least once -- to commit suicide in negative school environments. That number dipped to 20 percent in more positive school environments. By the way, only 4 percent of straight kids try to kill themselves, regardless of their surroundings.

“Wait! Wait just a second My Most Gracious Heavenly Father! Didn’t you make it absolutely clear you consider homosexuality a sin?”
“Ah! So you know exactly to whom I am referring to don’t you? Did I make it absolutely clear that homosexual orientation and loving same-sex relationships are a sin? No I did not.”
“But Heavenly Lord, the city of Sodom!”
“Yes, in that story I believe I made it absolutely clear I hated gang rape, xenophobia and inhospitality. What those men did had nothing to do with sexual orientation or love,”
“Leviticus-”
“Yes, what about it? You certainly don’t follow all of its commands do you? If you want to be such a stickler about it, I made it clear I hated anal sex for men in that time, Later on, I frowned upon temple prostitution and pagan orgies, lust and men who solicit young boys,” God answers with a chuckle, “I am actually ambivalent about the whole orientation thing and as for love, genuine love well I AM LOVE. Wherever there is love, I am most certainly there.”

The Christian Conservative’s heart begins to pound hard.
“But it says right there in the bible….male and female you created them! Adam and Eve! Two men cannot conceive children!”
“Of course two men cannot have children with each other! Neither can two women or infertile couples, what does this have to do with mistreating your fellowman?”

“But you gave us the command to multiply and fill the earth! Reprodution is a Divine mandate and the only Divinely sanctioned reason for sex!” the Christian Conservative insists, forgetting to be afraid in his desperation to prove his case.
“What does it mean to fill the earth dear child? It means to have as many offspring as can be healthily supported by the natural resources available. Clearly, you humans have long overshot that goal and are ruining one of my favorite planets! And who told you that this command means reproduction is the only Divinely sanctioned reason for sex? If it was, why on earth did I create a clitoris and so many ways to enjoy pleasure? Didn’t I also create intersex, hermaphrodites and people with completely different psychological gender to their anatomical one? Didn’t I say after I made everything, ‘It is GOOD!’”
“But! But!”
“So you mean you have enough faith to accept that Adam and Eve were able to have the genetic raw material from just two chromosomes to produce in such a short space of time, seven billion people with so many different races, so many different kinds of talents, so many different kinds of intelligences, so many different kinds of personalities but yet everyone must also have the exact same gender identity and fall in love and have relationships the exact same way?”

For a while, there is nothing but the gentle, continuous aria of the cherubs. Finally God breaks the despairing contemplation of his child and asks,
“Tell me, how much of your mistreatment of gay people was because of you actually felt zealous about pleasing me and following the bible in every respect and how much of it was because gays and lesbians just made you feel icky, uncomfortable, unsure about your masculinity and you disliked them for it?”
Ominous thunder rolled in the background.
Guilt begins to nag the Christian and knows he cannot respond without incriminating himself so instead he asks,
“Are you saying my righteousness and loyalty to your Holy Word displease you my Lord?”
God chuckles,
“First of all my child, you are not righteous, no man really is and the few who make a good attempt at it never consider themselves righteous. They are in fact overly humble and self-depreciating and I usually have to continue remind them just how deserving they are of my love! Second, you only seem to be loyal to the bible when it conforms to your existing prejudices and comforts. You use what is convenient and do not follow the rest, yet judge others with it, claiming it to be absolute and irrefutable in its entirety."
"Oh no Lord! I do not think that is true!"
"Really? What about the many things on which I or my Son give far clearer instructions yet you did not choose make these things your crusade,”
“What things My Lord? I know I spent almost every waking moment in your service!” the Christian Conservative insists, with fists clenched.

Where is the Christian outrage for gluttony in our society?

“Did you battle against gluttony? While children starve, did you protest those who waste food in those disgusting eating contests, all you can eat buffets and homes where families were gorging themselves for Thanksgiving? Did you quote Proverbs 23:21, Ecclesiastes 10:18, Romans 13:13, Philippians 3:19 and 1 Peter 4:3? Did you seek to discourage and punish obese overeaters through discrimination? Did you tell those suffering from heart disease and diabetes because of overeating that it is God’s punishment for their sins? Did you forbid fat overeaters from becoming priests, pastors, Reverends, government officials or seek to remove children from fat parents who were setting a bad example?”
“Er…no.”
“Did you seek to shut down gossip magazines and television programs my child?”
“What?”
“GOSSIP! I happen to HATE it! My Son’s friend Peter listed gossipers and busybodies among the same group as murderers and thieves in 1 Peter 4:15 and I condemn it in Proverbs 11:13, James 4:11, 1 Timothy 3:11 and 5:13 and 14.”
“Er…no, I didn’t think it was that dangerous to society,”

Where is the Christian outrage for words that isolate, defame, mislead, instill terror and apathy?

God thunders with derisive laughter.
“Not that dangerous!!! How do you think falsehoods and dangerous ideas get spread? Gossip is responsible for irreparably ruining lives of innocent people. It is a powerful destroyer of love, empathy and compassion. It fosters an environment of pre-judgment and fear which makes people morally apathetic because they are more afraid of what people say about them than doing the right thing. THAT you brush off and spend all your time on which peg others are fitting into which hole? What about GREED?”

Where is the Christian outrage for corporate greed, exploitation of third world countries, unfair trade, inhumane working conditions?

The Christian swallowed and cold sweat began to run down his back.

“The Enron scandal, the housing collapse, the layoffs of thousands of hardworking people just so greedy corporations can get a stock increase of .001%, unfair financial practices, fleecing of honest citizens and unbridled consumerism for things we really do not need, unsafe and dangerous products being KNOWINGLY sold to families just to make a profit, materialistic tele-evangelism, the constant pursuit of wealth, the millions of Americans in credit card debt because they cannot be content with the material possessions they have and the shameless flaunting of wealth while others go hungry you know, Matthew 19:23-24, Luke 16:14, 1John 3:17.” God says with increasing disgust.
“G…God, I see where you are going with this but…but-
“But my child where was your moral outrage? Where were the Christian sponsored therapy programs to try and rehabilitate greedy people into contented people? Unlike sexual orientation, greed is at least you can change.”

Yet so many Christians spend in inordinate amount of time and millions of dollars fighting something innate and occurs between consenting adults that is not a danger to our society.

“I am stumped God. I just tried to follow your word and I really believed your word to be perfect-
“It IS perfect! But who says man’s understanding and application of it is perfect? It has certainly never been and they can study it their entire lives, it will continue to demand constant growth in comprehension,” God explained with a little more compassion in his tone, “Didn’t I say all men shall keep the Sabbath or risk death?”
“Yes my Lord,”
“Yet didn’t my Son and his band of friends pick grain on the Sabbath? Didn’t he heal on the Sabbath? Didn’t he say that if a sheep fell into a pit on the Sabbath, the humane thing to do is rescue it? Didn’t he do EVERYTHING to show that LOVE and COMPASSION trumps blind, hypocritical, bureaucratic obedience, especially for reasons of self-righteousness?”
“Oh oh,” the Christian mumbles and feels his stomach sink.
“What good is anything I say to you humans if you use it as a tool of punishment and hardship and an excuse to be cruel or lazy about using your common sense? When I say, ‘Love me with your whole mind,’ I do mean apply ALL of your intelligence to your spiritual path. When I say ‘Love me with your whole heart’ I mean that you let love and compassion guide you above everything else. THAT is why it is the GREATEST COMMANDMENT. Perhaps if you spent more time on that instead of using my words to control other people, you wouldn’t be such a…Pharisee!”
“I am so sorry Lord!”

“Even if you were right and indeed Ellen Degenerous, Neil Patrick Harris, Elton John and Lady Gaga are evildoers do you think I am so incapable that I need puny little you to exact vengeance on my behalf? It is not your place!”
“I see that now my Lord. Looking upon your awesome power, I see it was all rather trivial…all of it,”

God sighs wearily and takes a sip from his golden cup of milk and honey.
“I really thought my Son would have been able to free you humans of this tendency and he took the lesson all the way….never was one to do things half-assed that boy. So you ACTUALLY thought I would be happy that you endorsed organizations that made hundreds of young people kill themselves out of self-hatred? Me? The person who forgave the people who murdered my Son? You thought that I would revel in depriving a gay officer and his life partner his retirement money or feel vindicated about people dying of AIDS? Really?”

In February 2007, Janice Langbehn her partner of eighteen (18) years Lisa Pond, and their 3 children traveled to Florida for a Family Cruise. But before the ship left port, Lisa collapsed and had to be rushed to a hospital. The hospital refused to take vital medical information about Lisa's medical history from Janice, including serious drug interaction information. They would not budge even after a copy of Power of Attorney had been faxed to the hospital. Janice and the children were not given any information about Lisa, and were denied visitation even after the doctor had indicated that there was no medical reason Lisa could not have visitors. When Lisa was finally moved from the ER to a non-trauma room in the hospital, Janice was not notified. Finally Janice was allowed five (5) minutes just before her partner passed away. Janice was told by a social worker that she was in an anti-gay state and city, and she and the adopted children would not be acknowledged as family. Later, Dade County Examiner and the State of Florida both denied Janice a death certificate, which she needed for life insurance and social security benefits for the children.

So are families really being protected by anti-gay laws championed by anti-gay Conservative Christians? Or just the families certain people deem more worthy for reasons based entirely on religious belief? How does treating gay and lesbian families humanely negatively affect your family?

The Christian begins to cry,
“Please Lord! Please don’t send me to hell!”

God makes a soothing noise in his throat and leans forward.
“Ah that! You think I torment people for all eternity too! Tell me, if your child screamed in a fit of rebellion, frustration and anger, ‘Daddy I HATE you!” even after all the sacrifices you made for him, would you take his hand and burn it off on your kitchen stove?”
“Of course not Lord! That would be…barbaric!”
“Then what made you think I would do such a thing…and for eternity too! With no chance ever of change or redemption! Do you know how many Universal Laws I would have to contravene to stop an eternal, sentient being with free will from learning, changing, growing and making different choices that result in different outcomes just so they could be in a state of punishment forever? And for what purpose? It’s not bringing me any glory, joy or vindication that’s for sure. You seem to forget…I am Almighty. Trust you scared little things who came up with things like Auschwitz to come up with a concept such as hell. Oh no. No hell for you. I will show you just how merciful I am,”

With that, God snaps his fingers and POOF, the Christian Conservative disappears.

Nine months later, in a little village, a baby boy is born to doting parents. As he begins to grow up, they notice he is a sweet and extremely sensitive and creative child. They do not understand where he learned it from, but he likes getting into his mother’s and sister’s things. No matter how much his father tries to toughen him up, he is not like other boys who like to play rough and dirty in their little neighbourhood in Tehran, Iran.

Happy Gay Pride! Whether for yourself, friend, son, daughter, mother, father, brother, sister, respected role model, colleague, favorite artist, let love conquer all!

Survival Kit 2012- Masculine Feminine Imbalance- Beyond Superficial Gender And The Blame-Game

2011-05-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

This approach to the subject is so old!

Are men to blame for the state of the world? Are women, children and Mother Earth being held hostage and being slowly destroyed by the evil machinations of macho men? Are your hackles already raised?

Relax! This is not going to be another “black spiritual woman feminist rant” against the evil penis. Sorry to disappoint those expecting one as well. I have no beef with the collective “dick” or even with singular ones. This is about healing, forgiving and moving on. This is about both men and women taking equal responsibility for what has happened to us and to our planet. This is about men and women moving on from here together with a clearer understanding of gender, polarity, sexuality and the spiritual and societal implications involved when we are not in balance at an individual level first.

I want to share with you the tools from the 2012 Survival Kit to rid ourselves of Masculine/Feminine imbalance. I can only share this with you now because I have submitted myself to an ongoing and arduous process of (1) Re-claiming my authentic gender identity, (2) Re-affirming my sexuality, (3) Reconnecting with the Feminine Divine and by extension my outer-woman hood (4) Reconciling with the Masculine Divine and by extension with men and embracing male sexuality in general.

These four steps have helped me see my inner soul beyond the confines of my biological gender, my sexuality and society’s designated gender role for me. It has helped me to see the same in others. I believe if we all can take this step forward we can get to the heart of this issue and begin to perceive Masculine and Feminine not as just as penis and vagina, breadwinner and homemaker, logical and emotional with one being somehow more important than the other, we will start to understand Masculine and Feminine as equal, spiritual, Universal Poles that must always be perfectly balanced within and without in our world.

Is this what you want to achieve? Then keep on reading.

Let Go Of The Victim Thing!

Certain radical and/or spiritual feminists really know how to polarize a room and turn people off from their message of Feminine Empowerment when they paint an “evil men” vs. “saint-like women” version of the world. They idealize the feminine as the ideal and demonize the masculine entirely as less evolved, empathetic, enlightened and therefore incapable of moving our human race forward.

Regular readers of my blog should know by now I will not be taking that route because it is not how I roll- spiritually speaking. If you are just reading this, let me elaborate.

In previous articles I have always stressed why nobody is a victim. See the Forgiveness Series. I try to unearth the underlying cause between a seeming feud between two parties or bully/victim scenario. In the The Gay Pride Essay I did last year I dismantled the Gay vs. Straight nonsense and showed how all people have had their natural sexuality and the spiritual power behind it, misunderstood, warped and misappropriated.

In all my explorations whether race, sexuality and gender more often than not I see how “the enemy” is oftentimes not the person on the opposite side and there is no opposite side. Usually, "the enemy" is also suffering under a delusion but only empathy helps the assumed victim to see that.

You see beyond the actions of the racist to the scared little person suffering from wounded false expectations and false pride under the delusion he is superior. You see his frustration when he must constantly confront ego-crushing examples of why he is lying to himself. You see beyond the homophobe to the insecure person suffering from inability or lack of fulfillment within his/her gender role and sexual life. You see why they must find a way lash out at those who seem to be celebrating an alternative, one that is unavailable to the homophobe. Similarly, when it come to the sexes, although on the surface it would appear that men are the dominant ones and therefore the “victors” or “oppressors”, the truth is, they are hurting deep inside and are truly suffering.

Nick Smith and Micheal Baker, a gay couple were the recent victims of a brutal homophobic and robbery attack while vacationing and doing charity work in Saint Lucia. Yet in spite of it, Michael had this to say,"I don't know the full motivation that drove these five men, but I do know that I can feel pity for them. How horrible that this was the only option that they felt." Now that is true enlightenment and the Power-up of Forgiveness!

Simply put, the battle of the sexes is a false issue. There is no “men vs. women”. The real war has nothing to do with the sexes and everything to do with keeping both men and women imbalanced and disempowered. The instigators might predominantly be men but their victims are also men as well as women. Why do this to us? So that we all can be equally exploited and made to play along with a political and economic system that benefits only the Powers That Be who are the protectors of imbalance.

The time has come for you to do Step 1- Reclaim your authentic gender identity. In order to do this you must separate biological gender from the much more Universal Polarity of Masculine and Feminine.

The Difference Between Biological Gender And The Universal Polarity of Masculine and Feminine

This is a more detailed re-cap of an earlier discourse from the essays where I explored the Elements Of Sex

The Alpha/Female Universal Pole is black. The Omega Masculine Universal Pole is white. Yet each pole has a little of the other within their core for ultimate balance. As you can see, Masculine and Feminine have nothing to do with gender but with attributes that reflect two sets of equally valid, complimentary yet opposing forces in our Universe. The Masculine Pole is not wrong or less than the Feminine. What is wrong is concentrating ONLY on one side and ONLY on a superficial, non-evolving form of it.

This Taoist symbol represents Ishvara- the whole, Divine perfection, the balance of Universal Polarity. If there is dark, there must be light. If there is up, there must be down. If there is Alpha there must be The Omega, if there is Feminine there must be Masculine. Yin/Yang can be used to represent the more esoteric, spiritual meaning of Masculine and Feminine and it can also be used as a tool to illustrate how male and female relate sexually and spiritually.

For this series I would like to deconstruct the Yin/Yang symbol to explore what happens when we become overly focused on one side to the detriment of the other, starting with biological gender, then spiritual/emotional and then community/planet.

Let’s begin with the male and exploration of the Yang.

Here is a heterosexual man as represented by the Yang half of the Yin/Yang symbol. The larger portion of the symbol indicates his anatomical, evolutionary, chromosomal, hormonal make-up. He has XY chromosomes, he has a penis, testes; he produces testosterone which makes him look, smell, sound and act like the male half of the human animal. What exactly does that mean?

It means he is biologically and evolutionary driven to (1) Survive (2) Pass On His Genes (3) Secure His Territory, Tribe Members, Resources That Aid Him In Passing On His Genes.

Because humans are learning-primates who can adapt, he will find ever more sophisticated ways of doing all three as his environment and society evolves. In the past he achieved this goal by demonstrating his prowess against other males to woo many females. If he was the victor, he would enjoy unbridled access to sex and protect his territory and tribe. If he was the loser he would steal females from under the victor’s nose and mate with them in secret. If he was the loser and also spurned by the females, he would rape.

The male animal is driven by both biology and evolutionary programming to show off its strength, woo females, pass on his genes and protect his tribe.

No matter how technologically savvy and ethically complex we become, these three basic biological/evolutionary triggers are always at play. We just find newer ways to implement them.

However, we are so much more than just animals. We have a higher, learning thought process that reigns over our creativity, spirituality and conscience. In the heterosexual male, that part is represented by the little Feminine symbol seed within the Yang body. It is the Alpha/Feminine Divine.

The only thing that can balance out the biological, testosterone-fuelled male animal is the Feminine-polarized soul at his core. Now keep in mind when I say “Feminine” it has nothing to do with biological female gender and gender roles. It has to do with the Feminine Universal Polarity that is concerned with - Entropic Change, Sensation/Feeling, Physical Materialization, Conservation, Potential.

When a man allows Feminine Divine Alpha energy to influence his male animal self, the balanced, empowered result is a beautiful thing indeed!

We get man that is virile, sexy, undeniably male, driven to show his prowess, driven to protect his progeny and tribe yet at the same time he is also creative (Entropic Change) connected and empathetic (Sensation/Feeling) productive (Physical Materialization) nurturing (Conservation) and always striving for power through balance (Potential).
As we say in our Trini parlance, “Now dat is man!”

How A Man Becomes Imbalanced

When men deny the Alpha Feminine Divine within them and worship only the physical attributes of biological male gender, they become empty caricatures of meaningless, imbalanced, masculinity.

At the very heart of Freudian psychology is masculine/feminine imbalance. It is all about investigating why all men are unable to feel complete within the confines of a warped system that tries to make men stamp out the Alpha Feminine within them and helping them cope with the loss. Freud personalizes the Alpha Feminine as the mother figure within a boy’s life but it goes far beyond this.

The loss of the Alpha Feminine invariably starts when a young boy who while still healthy and properly balanced, finally understands that his mother is being subjugated sexually, intellectually, emotionally by his Alpha deficient father. Right away, the boy knows at his core there is something unjust about it. He experiences hurt because of it but he is forced to accept it. He is told,
“Do not side with your mother it will make you a mama’s boy! Be thankful you get to grow up to emulate your father and avoid her fate, which is the fate of all women!”

Right there! That is the first chunk of his inner Alpha soul being killed. Next he is inculcated in all the ways to kill his connectedness to his emotions and sensations by being told to “man-up”. Another piece of his Alpha soul gone! Again, this causes him pain and a deep sense of loss. To compensate for this loss he is inculcated in religious, social, economic systems of false power that grant him a higher hierarchy in God’s Universe. Not only that, these systems also force him to exert dominant control over all forms of nature. He learns to fight entropic change rather than embrace it; overemphasize the intellectual over the intuitive, consume and expand recklessly and seek power through outer manifestations instead of inner potential.

The damage is complete by the time he hits puberty and testosterone now reinforces the imbalance. He lives with a sense of trauma, loss and insecurity his entire life. Sometimes it is only when he encounters a man who still has Alpha Feminine Divine Energy in him and has somehow escaped this fate that his loss bubbles to the surface, most often as envy, then anger and over-defensiveness of the flawed system to cover their insecurity.

Many men are asking, “How come I am forced to live up to society’s idea of a “real man” and meanwhile these poofters, artsy fartsy types and new-age men are getting away with being sissies! They are taking the easy way out! They are just trying to avoid the exhausting task of keeping a woman under proper control and passing on the legacy to all children born! Not fair!”

The thing is, who said they MUST take up that role? They too can be just as free if they choose and society would actually thrive.

Now, The Ladies Turn

Here is a heterosexual woman as represented by the Yin half of the Yin/Yang symbol. The black portion of the symbol indicates her anatomical, evolutionary, chromosomal, hormonal make-up. She has XX chromosomes, she has a vagina, milk-ducts, ovaries; she produces oestrogen which makes her look, smell, sound and act like the female half of the human animal. What exactly does that mean?

It means she is biologically and evolutionary driven to (1) Survive (2) Select The Best Genes On Offer (3) Gestate, Birth, Protect And Teach Her Offspring And Form Cohesive Social Bonds With Her Tribe Members.

When she is allowed to fully express every single aspect of her biological gender imperatives, she actively participates in helping her community to survive with just as much bravery and ferocity. She is just as ruthlessly sexual about offering herself to whichever male she sniffs out to be the best stud of the group or the best option for helping her protect any young born to her. She is a natural-born, intuitive teacher with highly adaptive social maneuverability.

Lioness teaching the younger ones to hunt. The female of the species has consistently been the one most observed passing on new skills to the next generation.

Just like her brothers, she is also much more than just these evolutionary traits. However, unlike her brothers who had their inner Alpha Feminine Core damaged, while their outer biological impulses were allowed free reign and even celebrated. The woman had both her outer biological gender manifestation as well as the inner Omega Masculine Core within her damaged.

In the heterosexual female, that Omega Masculine Core is represented by the little Male symbol seeded within the Yin body.

The only thing that can balance out the biological, oestrogen-fuelled female animal is the Masculine-polarized soul at her core. Now keep in mind when I say “Masculine” it has nothing to do with biological male gender and male gender roles. It has to do with the Omega Masculine Universal Polarity concerned with: Intellect/Thought, Activation, Dematerialization, Conquest/Movement, Projection.

When a woman allows Divine Omega energy to influence her female animal self, the result is a beautiful thing indeed!

A balanced woman is desirable, undeniably feminine and sexy; passionate, a nurturer, fierce defender of her young, socially adept yet at the same time, intelligent (Intellect/Thought) ambitious (Activation) spiritual/analytical (Dematerialization) physically capable and active (Conquest/Movement) and always striving for power and leadership (Projection).

Unfortunately, such women are also feared by insecure men. As we say in our Trini parlance, “Doh even think to mess wit she!”

How Women Become Imbalanced

Without the Omega Divine Masculine, a woman becomes insipid, childish, emotionally needy, petty and an empty vessel to be sexually objectified and oppressed. It starts when as a little girl she is groomed entirely for one role….to please.

Everything about how we raise girls stems from teaching them how to please others and be pleasing at the expense of their intelligence, physical health, emotional well-being, deep ambition and dignity.

So, boys can stink but she must smell sweet at all times. Boys can dream big and beyond! She must dream only of how to support their big dreams not her own. Boys can express their physicality but when she does, it is seen as un-ladylike. Boys can express their anger, dissatisfaction but she must be temperate and accepting even if it means dealing with the cancer it causes later on. Boys can be sexually lascivious and still considered respectable but she can only be sexually lascivious if she assumes the role of harlot (or as we say in Trini parlance “Jammette”) and all the ridicule, punishment that comes with it. She can only think herself beautiful if a man confirms that she is and must feign modest disbelief when he does. She must wear men’s clothes in order to feel powerful and free but women's clothes have no power, in fact if a man wears women's clothes he instantly falls to a lower, degrading rank. She must hide how smart she is least she hurt the boys’ feelings. She must not laugh too loudly nor seen to be laughing at boys because it hurts their feelings. On the other hand, boys who mock her and mistreat her she must accept as signs of their hidden affection. She is told over and over she has no decision-making skills and always needs a man to make the final choice for her, whether her father or her husband. Most of all, she is taught God is a male only. There is no Female Divine counterpart to imbue her with pride and spiritual justification.

Can you finally see why men and women have all these problems relating to one another? We are dealing with two equally damaged, dysfunctional, imbalanced parties here who are not living up to their true Divine potential. So of course there is going to be tremendous pain and lack of fulfillment in any emotional, spiritual, sexual relationship, gay or straight with people who are not properly balanced.

The question we now need to ask is by whom or by what were both men and women damaged? Yes, men did subjugate women but remember, we are going much deeper than that. We need to ask who or what was BEHIND their actions and even deeper, who or what was BEHIND that? Also, always remember that women ALLOWED themselves to be subjugated just as men ALLOWED their inner Alpha Feminine Divine to be erased. So no, there are still no victims here. It’s not entirely “men’s fault” that women have now become as John Lennon expressed below:

Woman is the nigger of the world
Yes she is...think about it
Woman is the nigger of the world
Think about it...do something about it

We make her paint her face and dance
If she won’t be slave, we say that she don’t love us
If she’s real, we say she’s trying to be a man
While putting her down we pretend that she is above us

Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don’t believe me take a look to the one you’re with
Woman is the slaves of the slaves
Ah yeah...better scream about it

We make her bear and raise our children
And then we leave her flat for being a fat old mother then
We tell her home is the only place she would be
Then we complain that she’s too unworldly to be our friend

Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don’t believe me take a look to the one you’re with
Woman is the slaves of the slaves
Yeah (think about it)

We insult her everyday on TV
And wonder why she has no guts or confidence
When she’s young we kill her will to be free
While telling her not to be so smart we put her down for being so dumb

Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don’t believe me take a look to the one you’re with
Woman is the slaves of the slaves
Yes she is...if you believe me, you better scream about it.

We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance

It’s not all “women’s fault” that men are required to be emotionally obtuse, secretly overly-sensitive, entirely ego-driven, domineers as expressed by the Janet Jackson video below:

Equal rights, equal responsibility! It’s BOTH our faults and it’s BOTH our problem to solve because it negatively affects BOTH genders and even all those in-between. Ah yes, we did not mention the diverse range of gender variations that exist between. For as clearly as I have defined male and female, masculine and feminine, there exists a much wider range than that.

I’ve covered this many times so I won’t go into it in great detail again. But I will say that every year on this planet, millions of individuals are born with congenital, chromosomal, hormonal, morphologic, genital and/or gonadal anomalies and millions more with varying psychological, emotional and sexual traits as it relates to gender. I will also say it is perfectly natural!

Those who continue to insist that gender consists of only two valid options: (1) Heterosexual/Biological Male/Masculine Minded/Male Gender Role Playing and (2) Heterosexual/Biological Female/Feminine Minded/Female Gender Role Playing are ignoring the beautiful Divinely purposed complexity of gender, to their own detriment.

You can mix and match from all four of these contributing factors to gender. You can be a heterosexual tomboy, i.e.-a biological female with a very masculine consciousness who loves men and subscribes to a societal gender role more common with men. You can be a macho gay man, i.e. a biological über male, with a very masculine mind who loves men and subscribes to a gender role more common with men. You can be an intersex feminine lesbian, a masculine bisexual and on and on. We are all beautiful and Divinely purposed.

In the second essay I will be delving into Patriarchy and Matriarchy. Hopefully, if you got the point of this essay, you no longer see it as a gender issue but spiritual and economic one based on attributes from two Universal Poles. In other words a woman can be Patriarchal and a man can be Matriarchal in his outlook.

We will see why Patriarchy and Matriarchy alone are equally imperfect systems when allowed sole dominance in society. We will explore how patriarchal systems managed to conquer ones that had more matriarchal influence as well as nearly destroy the Feminine Divine and the resulting effects today.

Next I will re-direct to tools from the 2012 Survival Kit for “individual “and relationship balancing of Masculine and Feminine so we can each perfectly emulate the Divine which is both Alpha and Omega and being to effect profound global change.

Beyond Barack And The Birthers

2011-04-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

The 2012 Survival Kit Series will continue with Masculine/Feminine Imbalance explored and I recommend reading The Sex Series to prime for it. However I took some time off working on the 2012 Survival Kit and on my Rare Breed Series to address the current news development between Barack Obama vs. The Birthers.

De-meriting successful black men is an ugly remnant of an un-evolved, unenlightened and always inexcusable period of America’s past. This week, the un-evolved, unenlightened and always sobering reminder of how far yet the country still has to go, is also perhaps the most desperate attempt at de-meriting a successful black man yet. It has echoes of black veterans being harassed by racists for wearing their medals of honor or any black man with money or a car being asked, “Where you git that money from bwoi? You steal that dere car bwoi?”

Do people ever stop and consider (1) what FACTORS are behind the success of law abiding, talent expressing, knowledge exploring, society contributing black men? How come they achieved success? Was it by swimming easily with or powerfully against the tide? I would venture to say, favorable currents are few and far between and most swim against a tide full of bloated examples of failure and discrimination everywhere around them. Black people who find success only did so because of:

1.Being truly exceptional and determined

2.Strong adult guidance towards a moral compass as well as the right mix of nurturing and discipline to produce a healthy, confident and capable child. Traditionally this came from a parent or member of a strong extended family and/or strong communities despite the black American legacy of fathers who are transient, migrant workers, incarcerated, prematurely dead. We can thank our tribal village heritage for the cultural belief that children are everybody’s to guide and nurture.

3.Being one of the lucky few blacks to whom the powerful establishment opened the doors whether from unprompted genuine admiration and respect (very rare), Government mandate (more common) or dark, mercenary reasons with the ultimate intention to use , betray and discard the brilliant black person (even more common).

It is my personal belief that Obama falls into categories (1) and (2) and in category (3) he unfortunately is the victim of a power structure that no longer needs him and is ready to get rid of him but not before utterly humiliating him so he does not become a martyr around which a cause is rallied.

There I have said it.

The common denominators behind the ills in black and white communities are poverty and powerlessness.

Now, I would like to engage you in a little exercise. In the same way you just asked yourself what factors lead to success for black men and by extension, black people, I would like you to ask that same question about the opposite. What factors contribute to failure? Excluding individual ability, mental and emotional disorders found in all races, what conditions specific to the black American experience creates the criminal, barely literate, serially unemployed, unwed mothers, drug dealing gangsters, wham, bam thank you ma’am no child-support paying fathers and drug addicts among black people? Have your answer in mind? Good. Now here’s the twist.

Ask yourself what contributes to these same ills among white people?

You will find the common denominator revolves around and involves poverty and powerlessness. Either:

(1)Utter destitution and disempowerment by the system since ancestors’ arrival on American shores after escaping a tragic situation or being forced into a tragic situation and never being able to catch one single lucky break from the system, leading to disenchantment, disempowerment and desperation guiding all decisions OR…

(2) A tragic reversal of fortune either a few generations ago or in this life-time, either for the first time or again, because a calculated financial venture that did not pay off. That venture was most likely related something dark and mercenary. Either something they did consciously as part of the power structure or were being unwittingly used by the power structure to do until discarded and turned into the scapegoat (like Obama) or they were in fact the victim of the dark and mercenary venture like Enron employees, American skilled laborers and families crushed under medical debt because of eating poisoned food.

Who are these perpetrators of dark, mercenary schemes that ruin lives of black and white alike? They are and always have been:

(1)Those who have been rich and powerful for many millennia and...

(2)Those who do the bidding of those who have been rich and powerful for many millennia either a few generations ago or in this lifetime. They either directly or unwittingly participate in dark, mercenary ventures.

By nature of our human society, to some extent, every single one of us
is an unwitting, innocent recipient of benefits from the dark, mercenary ventures. These benefits often take the form of a lucky break which adds just the right momentum to hard work and dedication to help us succeed.

I do not need to tell you that these lucky breaks have always been distributed by the establishment according to a ranking system that places whites in a more favorable position, to access them while denying blacks and other “undesirables” access based on the assertion that they are somehow less deserving.

This is what makes the Barack/birther debacle so insidious and depressing! So many saw his rise to Presidency as a sign that old paradigm was shifting. They actually believed a black man could rise to power based on merit and popular respect despite historical precident. Now we must contemplate a more cynical reality where only a mere “façade of inclusion” is the establishment's smoke screen to pacify us all.

Meanwhile it's business as usual by those who still cling to the belief that black people and other “undesirables” are endemically inferior, because of Divine, scriptural mandate. They should also be relegated to the fringes of the society and limited as much as possible tto menial labor.

Believe it or not, this belief did not originate with people like Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. They came from a religious, cultural, economic system where it was already well entrenched and never truly challenged on every level until the 1960s and onward.

One of the boldest moves made by the establishment was to test America’s amnesia level by considering Mitt Romney as a presidential candidate and Glenn Beck as a media darling.

Their tests proved positive.

There are sufficient numbers of Americans who either don’t remember, don’t care or still actively buy into these racist/bigoted religious values. That should not surprise anyone.

Imagine a society where every facet of life reinforces that some people are more superior to others from pulpit to public schools to park benches. Imagine that going on for hundreds of years. It is ridiculous to believe it would not warp the humanity of BOTH black AND white people.

Imagine how much enlightenment it would take both black and white people to see the truth even when the lie infects every aspect of life and every avenue for knowledge.

Imagine how much love it would take black people to see past their experience of dehumanizing desperation and self-denigration. Imagine how that love would have to reverse the devaluation of life that led to a culture of cannibalizing one's own people to get ahead even if it was anathema to your heart and the deep, community connectedness that came from your African tribal roots. Imagine looking beyond the hurt and shame that you unwittingly played right into the hands of those who cast your people as cannibals and now helped them make the lie real using a little human experiment known as “the projects”.

Imagine learning to see beyond all this to the fact that white people were also hurt by an experience of dehumanization even if on the surface it seems as if they are the victors.

Imagine how much love it would take whites to counteract the false expectations, apathy to human suffering, clouded human conscience and hardening of human heart all of which was systemically enforced upon them through a system of fear of becoming a victim of the bullies among their own people. Imagine being honest about the lurid pleasure in being a bully or vicariously benefiting from bullying and making a conscious decision to let go of it even if it was coddling to the ego and an excellent cover for insecurities. Can you wrap your fingers around the kind of love it would take to actively resist a false-sense of superiority (you are born superior and entitled to superior consideration at the expense of another) and consciously attempt to get your self-esteem in a more humane way?

Think about how much love it will take to forgive the fact we ALL allowed ourselves to accept the roles of fearful prey and callous predator.

It will take enlightnement, love, power and courage to rise above the hate and lies.

Think about how much love it will take to ensure the lamb lie peacefully with the lion. After we have forgiven…

Imagine how much power it would take to help our next generation to actually begin to forget. We have to ensure they are born into a world where the false teachings and their ill-effects have been utterly vanquished.

Imagine how much courage it would take to actively resist the establishment that is intent on turning us into sub-humans, black and white alike. Imagine being able to stare down heart-ache, disappointment, alienation, ridicule, defamation, threats and even death and still do the right thing.

If you can just commit a few minutes to take yourself through this thought process, you'll fill the gap of ignorance where racism likes to slowly creep in and start to take root, with enlightenment, love, power and courage.

For me bridging that gap helped me to have truly meaningful relationships with my white brothers and sisters even if I and members of my family have had to live with real live reminders of racism always just a day or news headline or an encounter away. Even if I was raised to be pessimistic, paranoid and perpetually, righteously angry as some supposed show of strength and pride in the midst of injustice, I learned to instead to be hopeful, trusting, open-hearted and righteously committed to moving beyond the anger.

Today my soul mate is white. A soul companion in every sense! We always remember where we are most commonly human in this life and even the one before this one. This has become so natural it has taken our hearts and minds off race completely when we are alone or among our like-minded friends and family who are also racially diverse. In that common space, love, truth, justice take root and make us more discerning, powerful and free.

If you want to access the truth about the entire Barack/birther issue you cannot do so with mind clouded by any lingering false assertions and a heart clouded by any lingering anger or false pride.

That is the lesson I am taking from this entire mess.

Imagine if in response to this entire Barack/birther issue tens of thousands of people gathered around Washington Mall for the largest ever interracial, multi-cultural kiss-in and jam session the world has ever seen. Former skinhead kissing rastafarian. Old Japanese granny locking lips with a white WW2 veteran. Gay white leather daddy kissing Indian dancing queen. Can you just imagine?

I would truly hate it if the selection of Obama was just a ruse. Whether it is or not, we must let the racist powers-that-be know that even if they are not serious about promoting our common humanity, we are and our eyes are wide open and so are our hearts.

Now let me segue into the Masculine/Feminine Imbalance thing to come in the next blog post.

All of us, black, white, brown, yellow and everything in between have very important work ahead of us to bring our earth home back into balance.

History has it that only a few of us now find ourselves the keepers and defenders of the Feminine Divine. We have an irresistible, exciting, feminine, pagan kind of creativity from Africa, India, Asia, Central and South America. Either because it was only fairly recently our ancestors abandoned polytheism and The Mother Goddess for Judeo/Christian/Abrahamic religion and there are lingering echos of Mother still unconquered or they never did embrace Yahweh/Christ/Allah as their single Parent. Some of us are among those only now rediscovering it, even if She has been long vanquished in our ancestral culture.

We have an important role to play in helping those who have been forcibly weaned away from our Mother and made to forget even hate and exploit Her and encourage others to do the same. The European/American/Middle Eastern/North African axis of hyper-Masculinity is going to ruin our planet if we do not do something!

I will tell you why the one-sided Male/Omega/Yang focus is leading to destruction in the next blog post.

2012 Survival Kit- How To Defeat Lack Part 2

2011-03-12T10:10:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I in the last blog post I opened the 2012 Survival Kit and showed you how to defeat this spiritual setback before I actually explored the setback. I was really eager that you fully comprehend The Law Of Manifestation and the power up of Divine Trust before I went any further because it will serve as our sword and shield as we enter this treacherous, dismal territory of Spiritual Lack.

First of all, what exactly is Spiritual Lack?

Spiritual Lack is quite simply, Powerlessness due to lack of awareness of:

Your Past- Your immediate past and your past existences.

Your Power- Your ability to use: The Law Of Manifestation, The Law Of Consequence, The Law Of Attraction and all the Power Ups- Forgiveness, Freewill, Divine Trust, Unconditional Love.

Your Purpose- To walk your narrow, unique, individual path with integrity, honesty and openness to knowledge and growth towards mastery gained by ultimate understanding of The Source Of It All.

Without an active awareness about these things, you are will feel like just a spec adrift in a vast, frightening ocean over which you have no control. You will become so desperate for something, anything, to cling to, you will leave yourself wide open to being hauled or pressed ganged upon the first flotsam or ship that speaks to your most primitive inclinations whether a religion, political party or a relationship. You will become overly possessive over any possessions, people or philosophies that give you the slightest iota of a perceived advantage. You will use any means necessary to retain your power over them. You will always operate from a place of fear and pessimism, applying more force than is needed to achieve your goals. This ultimately hurts others, the planet and themselves.

If you are more of the deist or agnostic type, understand it this way: You as a human being have full and free autonomy in this Universe within all the laws of the Universe. Spiritual Lack is the inability to see this and to fearfully self-subjugate to less than one’s true potential under false and conditional premises.

In its raw, passive state, Spiritual Lack manifests as crippling unreservedness, insecurity, guilt, neediness and poverty.

Spiritual Lack Starts With Believing In A Lacking God

Although we are of The Divine or Universal Energy that created everything, we are free agents because the Divine Parent/Universal Energy has no inadequacies. Therefore it has no gap to fill and no need to make slaves of Its children or even use Its children to massage Its ego. It is counter-intuitive to any claim of Its Almightiness or Ultra-Universality to want for anything or be in need of anything from anyone or anything. In order for Its Almightiness to make logical sense it must be the Ultimate Unconditional Source.

A jealous, angry, God that demands worship and subjugation is not an Almighty God.

If this is hard to understand, compare the attributes of parents who exercise undue control and ownership over their children versus those who offer unconditional love, care, wisdom and guidance to the best of their ability yet allow their child full self-determination. You will always find the controlling parent is overcompensating for some form of personal lack whether it is unrealized dreams, guilt, fear, insecurity. They transfer these passive Lack attributes unto their child. Now why would a Divine Parent need to do this to Its creations? Such a Being could not possibly be Almighty.

At the root of many people’s Spiritual Lack is a Deity that needs constant bolstering up by human slaves. It gets jealous. It can be hurt by human actions. It offers no freewill. It has human enemies. It cannot forgive. It has limits. It has an extensive bureaucracy of rules and punishments. It cannot give unconditionally. It bargains or threatens in order to get love and obedience. It is resentful of human empowerment. These less-than Almighty deities are unable to grant their progeny autonomy and power because it would usurp their sovereignty…which is of course, a ruse.

It is a ruse for a man-made system of sovereignty based on Lack, Fear and Masculine/Feminine unbalance.

All forms of Lack are ultimately based on falsehood.

If you are submitting to such an insecure deity then you are actually at the mercy of a foundation constructed from the fearful bowels of primitive, limited human minds already infected with Lack. People who believe in an insecure, jealous deity of conditional love find themselves in a paradoxical spiritual situation. They are supposed to have faith that this deity is infinite yet are always unable to completely trust that It can defend itself, work out its own justice. So they are always forced to do it on behalf of the deity. The more insecure the deity construct, the more violent the defensiveness, proselytizing and punishment meted out by Its fearful followers. They can always be herded into thoughtless defense of their vulnerable God and will constantly suffer from poverty of mind and spirit. It is the most hopeless condition. It is also dangerous. Why?

Not trusting you are loved unconditionally by the Divine and there is truly enough Divine love for everyone. You still think you have to earn it! Your spiritual life becomes a competition for Divine favor instead of self-mastery. You derive a great portion of your spiritual self-worth from feeling you have earned God’s favor and are therefore superior to others. You also want tangible popular validation and victory over outsiders as a reward for your noble efforts.

It is a lie and all lies are dangerous.

Awareness of the truth is the only way to defeat Spiritual Lack, starting with the truth that the Grand Architect is so much better and more powerful than ANYTHING man has ever devised. The truth is if the Universe/Originator is Almighty, it has no special need to compel or punish us in anyway. We are already naturally free and powerful wielders of many Universal/Divine gifts including The Law Of Manifestation.
Why Do You Need To Feel Lack When…

You Are Eternal.

Time is eternal. Energy is eternal. You are a construct of both. Knowledge of this is perhaps one of the most empowering things ever and we will touch on it more when we explore Fear.

The eternal existence of your consciousness is something you must own or risk someone exploiting your amnesia and subsequent fear about death. Everything happening to you in this life is a result of your own actions in this life or the ones before or after. Wake up! Wake up to your fully aware self behind the control board of a simultaneous stream of all your multiple existences across time and dimensions!

You Have A Purpose

It can only be found when you not only recognize but live the aforementioned truth. There are karmic issues in need of proactive resolution on your part right now. There is a spiritual path to truth narrow enough just for you to walk in this life. But you will never find your own unique path if you spend your time distracted by desperately clinging onto people, positions and possessions that compensate for your Lack. You will not find it by comparing how other people are walking on their unique path and over-compensating for all the ways it makes you feel inadequate by using False Power.

You Are Already Powerful

When a naturally powerful person has been deceived to be unaware of their power, they will over-compensate with added force. This results in destruction within and without. They unnecessarily stress themselves and they also damage the people, objects and environments on which their exaggerated force is applied.

We apply a wasteful and dangerous amount of surplus force to everything we do. Spiritual Lack results in False Power which manifests as: ingratitude, greed, envy, megalomania

It is not coincidence that the richer, more educated, more powerful, physically attractive and desired by women a straight man is, the less likely it is that he will be homophobic. The more pre-occupied someone is about learning their spiritual path and mastering the less obsessed they are in converting every Tom, Dick and Harry. Someone who is taking the time to truly appreciate their material possessions and share with the less fortunate are less likely to go into debt trying to keep up with the Jonses.

An elephant is tremendously powerful yet so fully aware of its power and when, where and how to skillfully wield it. It does not have to apply anymore force than needed.

We have already established that the Law Of Manifestation is at work in our Universe. Do you really think those who have the power to enslave others in Lack do not know about this Law? Of course they do!

Who Is Using Your Power?

Remember I told you that the gloves are off this year. So let me lay it down. For every bona fide spiritual teacher who has tried to free us from Lack, there are a thousand false teachers who seek to enslave us for their own Lack-based motives. You see, although you may not know how powerful you are, trust me, someone else knows and if you don’t wield your power with enlightened discernment, they will steal it for their own selfish means.

“Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?”- The Best Of You-Foo Fighters

Entire human economic, religious and political systems are based on Lack. So the fight to liberate humanity from this setback is an arduous one, made all the harder because we also have our primal inclinations working against us. Our primitive impulse to grab and hoard for later is a deeply ingrained survival tool. Our subcutaneous fat cells and natural penchant for fats, sugars and gluttony exist because we once needed to store up energy for long periods of starvation. We have real desperation in our karmic time-stream. We have an overriding need to be restless and unsatisfied because of our Masculine/Yang/Omega ambition to constantly push, discover, create and evolve and that too is out of balance because of the denigration of the necessary counter-balance of Feminine/Yin/Alpha streak to embrace, nurture, remember and conserve.

We have an uphill battle against not just all the external forces that promote an environment and mentality of Lack but our own innate, un-evolved, primitive vulnerability to it.

The religious /political exploiters of human Lack know that if they get vast nations of people to believe they have actually wronged an Almighty God in some way, they can acquire fearful, guilt-motivated devotion to a tyrannical (man-made) God that can be exploited in any number of ways. For example they can get billions of people praying everyday for the destruction of Western freedoms. The economic exploiters of religious lack know that if they get enough insecure people to believe that manual labor/blue collar is lesser than mental labor/white collar, they can manifest and maintain a class system based on people with low self-esteem willing to allow their jobs to be shipped abroad for human slaves to do. If enough people believe there is something inadequate about their naturally kinky hair or pale skin, they can manifest profits from relaxers and spray tans.

On the positive side, it means that according to that same Law Of Manifestation, if we apply an opposing spiritual manifestation of awareness, love, abundance, peace and compassion we can manifest positive change in the material world. It is time for you to join the few of us who constantly project light, love, peace, prosperity into our environments. It is not too late to step up the wishes/prayers/spell-casting/rituals/creative expressions/affirmations/meditations for world-peace, world-contentment, world-enlightenment. Those of you who employ visualizations and affirmations, why not include a little space for changing our world for the better along with your wishes for personal success? The time has come for those of us with the Survival Kit tools to push back against the tide in active, innovative, strategic ways.

Own your power! Use your power! Never fall prey to feelings of hopeless lack again! You can help to shape this world into the positive vision you wish to manifest.

We who have an infinite view of Divinity/Universe have the ability to be infinitely more imaginative than those who dwell in Lack and worship Lacking-divinities. Think about it. Think about it and then brainstorm your plot to manifest good in this world.

2012 Survival Kit- How To Defeat Lack Part 1

2011-02-25T05:39:00.000-08:00

Why are people so intolerant, insecure, discontent, egotistical, selfish, gluttonous, ungrateful?

In a word: Lack.

This is actually the second time I am delving into an exploration of the quagmire that is Lack. I have done essays on Gratitude 1 and 2 that touch on the ills of Lack. Since that time, I have learned a few new spiritual tools to enhance the journey this time round.

The Law Of Manifestation

I can now admit that at the time of my penning those two previous essays, I was struggling with my own issues of discontentment with my abundance and insecurity about my ability as a writer, lover and tremendous apprehension about my spiritual path. After they were published, I continued to struggle and undergo traumatic transformations necessary to help me grow. You see those of us who dare to walk the scary and lonely spiritual path and not the path of inertia and religious comfort find that even as we share our discoveries, even as people call us "so wise for your age”, “a pillar of strength” and “source of insight” we are painfully aware of our own inadequacies and fears as we struggle in the midst of terrifying adventures. Try writing about being grateful when you are broke or your love life is in upheaval. It’s not easy.

However, out of my travails I have uncovered one undisputed spiritual truth at work, yet another of those Universal Laws. We shall call it the Law Of Manifestation. It is very similar to the Law of Consequence/Karma but do not confuse the two.

The Law Of Consequence/Karma

The Law of Consequence/Karma deals with Universal Balance through the eternal stream of time. One action in the eternal stream of time must be equally balanced out by an equal reaction at some point in that eternal stream of time. If you so choose you can take an active role in the balancing or you can let the inertia of karma do it. Spiritual pathfinders prefer actively managing their karma through The Power Up Of Forgiveness instead of letting inertia do the job. Examples of this approach can be seen in:

A domestic abuse perpetrator seeking therapy and later volunteering at a women’s shelter and sharing his learning curve with both men and women to prevent the violence from continuing

A Holocaust survivor actively fighting for human rights and the end of genocide of all people and not falling into excusing the same entitlement and violent racial/religious nationalism against Palestinians

A woman doing a past-life regression and discovering that in her former life, she was part of a tribe in Africa that responded to violent colonialization with brutal oppression of their own females, of which she was one. During the oppression, her beloved sister was torn away from her, the women in her tribe began to be genitally mutilated and when she tried to fight against it, she was brutally executed as a witch but not before she unleashed a vitriolic curse her male tribesmen for their betrayal. Now in her present life, she feels the echoes of her anger and betrayal. In her childhood and early womanhood she has suffered the karmic ill-effects of her own curse on her black brothers and now as a mature woman is taking spiritual responsibility to unravel the curse though The Power Up Of Forgiveness.

Just like how a mineral needs corresponding a Vitamin Power up (Iron needs Vitamin C) The Law Of Consequence/Karma works in tandem with the Power Up Of Forgiveness, so you can avoid the needless suffering of inertia.

All of these are examples of overcoming the inertia of karma by exercising your freewill to choose differently before, during or after. This is so powerful it can alter the very nature of the effect in the present which sets off a chain reaction of re-balancing the future and even the past for time is a continuum.

The Law Of Manifestation on the other hand, deals with Universal Balance over planes or dimensions, not over time. In other words, if something is created in one dimension, it must be mirrored in all dimensions. That is not so strange to comprehend. It is a facet of many spiritual traditions from the pagan, “As above, so below,” to the Judeo/Christian, “As in heaven, so on earth.”

As above so below- The Law Of Manifestation

The Law Of Manifestation is the cosmic process by which the seemingly impossible statement “Ask and you shall receive. Knock and it shall be opened,” is made true. It was presented in glossy, fast food format to millions in The Secret with objectives of personal material gain and avoidance of the equally valid and necessary dark, bitter, painful aspects of life. These are aspects that scare away those who have not yet begun to deal with Fear, another one of the spiritual setbacks we will tackle in the 2012 Survival Kit Series.

According to the Law Of Manifestation, when you submit to a process of learning spiritual truths, sharing them and affirming them in the dimension of spiritual/consciousness then you can expect these principles to manifest in all areas of your life. In other words, if you do not want to rock the boat of your relationships, career, personal goals, ego, lifestyle, addictions and tastes, then do not ever pray/wish/spell-cast/affirm/meditate upon any new spiritual insights because once you do, SOMETHING is going to shift in the physical world whether you like it or not. As above, so below.

The Law Of Manifestation works in tandem with the Power Up Of Divine Trust (Fearlessness), so you can avoid the pitfall of Powerless Lack.

Often the process of manifestation is not always pleasant because it often means a big helping of extremely bitter greens served up by The Divine Chef/Universe to trigger the change you seek. Here is where immature spiritual seekers who do not have the Power Up Of Divine Trust (Fearlessness) get stumped. Here is where all those readers of The Secret who thought they could just ask the Universe for million dollars and it magically appears get disenchanted when the process is not as smooth as they expected.

“But I asked to be wealthy! Instead I got fired! See? It does not work! I am going back to my old thinking!”

They do not see it was actually their job that was holding them back from a true wealth opportunity. Sometimes the temporary loss of certain material or status privileges that is distracting or derailing the manifestation process is necessary to give clarity about how wealthy they are and can be. Or sometimes, the manifestation is so subtle and unexpected, they miss it altogether because they were expecting some big splashy miracle like a lottery win or grand inheritance from some long lost relative. They completely overlook a nagging side-project or seemingly frivolous hobby of theirs that could make them a millionaire or all the other forms of abundant wealth all around them.

“But I asked for a better relationship with my spouse! I have been doing affirmations and meditations on it and instead of romance and harmony it seems we are just arguing ALL THE TIME!”

They do not see that the emotional breakdown is what provides the eventual breakthrough if they and their spouse work through it productively. The vitriolic arguments are just the symptom of the underlying infection coming to the surface like a puss-filled pimple to be squeezed and medicated. After this, it will be smooth and sensuous like they requested.Or maybe they are with the wrong spouse and need to end it in order to open up the door to someone who will fulfill their request.

How many soul-mates have you rejected after begging the Universe/Divine Chef for one? Ever considered there are abundant possibilities out there, some of which are far better than what you can currently envision?

Don’t ask the Universe/Divine Chef for help or transformation and at the same time secretly wish that everything stays the same because it is comfortable and you fear conflict/change. Don’t ask the Universe/Divine Chef for their will to be done and then make specific demands of how it MUST manifest according to your prejudices. That is like going into an exclusive, French restaurant with a five star Michelin chef and telling them, “Give me your best for my edification in fine gourmet cuisine!” then laying down all kinds of restrictions on what cooking techniques they are allowed to use.

Allow the Universe/Divine Chef to be abundant with you in all things. Allow abundant possibilities for manifestation. Apply fearless Divine Trust to the Law Of Manifestation and you have just dealt with the most damning of human setbacks- Spiritual Lack.

Okay, so I just opened the 2012 Survival Kit and showed you how to defeat this spiritual setback. I was eager that you fully comprehend The Law Of Manifestation and the power up of Divine Trust before I went any further because it will serve as our sword and shield as we enter this treacherous, dismal territory of Spiritual Lack. Hopefully, you feel more empowered to explore Spiritual Lack a little deeper. We lift our sword to challenge it head on, next blog post.

Tolerance And Truth- 2012 Survival Kit Pre-Discourse

2011-01-17T16:20:00.000-08:00

In the last post, I promised to tackle Lack, Fear and Masculine/Feminine Imbalance but I also touched on two subjects- Truth and Tolerance which I would like to explore some more before delve into the first human setback of Lack.

Tolerance will most likely be the defining theme of our century. Never before has there been so much energy and enthusiasm devoted to interpersonal relationships within a multi-cultural environment. How can we get along better in order to be peaceful and productive? How do we make fair laws that are both universal and effective? How do we safeguard personal freedoms without excusing social injustice or crimes against humanity? Where do we draw the line between freedom of speech and defamation, tirade or terrorism? How do we ensure we do not become overly sanitized, censured, sensitive and as a result intellectually impotent?

Political correctness gone too far: Mark Twain is probably turning in his grave as politically correct educators in the US seek to erase the word, “nigger” from the classic novel Huckelberry Finn even though it was used in a context by the author to demonstrate the inhumanity of racism. If we are so overly sensitive we cannot even look honestly at our dark past, how do we move forward in the light?

Trust Vs. Truth- Putting Religious Belief In Its Rightful Place

I am a strong advocate of every person being free to practice, switch and share their religious beliefs in forums where worship, expressed interest, mutual exchange and debate are relevant and appropriate. After all, I do it on my blog.

However, in our dealings with each other we must all come to the table with the universal understanding that our spiritual beliefs are well…beliefs. They require faith. This faith is more of a gut thing, not a cerebral thing; about 60% heart, 40% head and highly emotionally subjective. That does not make it inferior (and we will discuss more on why heart knowledge is valid in its own right) but it does make it highly personal and therefore inappropriate to mandate for another or for a country.

In a word, religious faith is basically- TRUST.

When you say, “I have faith that Ronaldo will come through for the football team,” what you are really saying is, “I TRUST Ronaldo enough to pin my hopes on him,”
The same is true for a holy book, a deity or belief system.

When you say, “I have faith Jesus died for my sins,” or “I have faith Gabriel spoke to the prophet Mohammed”, you are basically saying, “I trust that it is true enough for me to pin my hopes on and even risk my life defending.”

Of course, we already know you cannot prove the origin, translation, interpretation of ancient writings is absolutely true. It has never been done and those who still engage in such protracted apologetic discussions are not just wasting their time but often missing the deeper point which does not depend on their myths being literally true. These are often the first to become atheist at the first emotional or intellectual crossroads and the more zealous the believer, the more zealous their atheist alter-ego because fanaticism begets more fanaticism.

Okay, so you may not be able to prove miracles are true to anyone but yourself. However you TRUST that it is true and you really want it to be so. This is why you get so passionate and easily provoked about anything or anyone that seeks to rob you of that trust. It’s the same reason you would respond with hostility if anyone told you your spouse or beloved parent was an untrustworthy person. A great deal hinges on you trusting your Divine parent and whatever philosophy you believe came from that deity. For many that trust is the only thing preventing them from giving up on life. Now, just be honest about this!

Stop trying to argue that your belief is absolute truth and admit you cannot prove it is and your reasons for believing are based almost entirely on trust/faith for deeply personal reasons and rewards. If you are brave enough to be honest like this, then have just opened the door to tolerance.

If you are truly an honest, empathetic spiritual person you can understand how all deity doctrines; Elephant Gods and Gods that impregnate virgins to sacrifice themselves, are fantastic and difficult for someone to simply take a chance and trust without compelling proof or personal motivation.

For when you look at faith that way, as trust, you begin to understand how cruel it is to expect everyone to trust exactly what you trust when in fact, the factors that inspired your trust may not be at play in their life. Trusting a belief system where the proofs are largely intangible and emotionally experienced is basically like, “taking a chance,” on something. In most cases the trust is won by familiarity. We were born into a belief, raised in it and it becomes so much of a foundation in our lives, we grow entirely dependent on it and are unable to work up the courage to trust anything else, especially if there is fear of Divine punishment, civil punishment (like in Islamic countries) community or family exclusion.

It is the worst form of hubris and insecurity to cast aspersions on someone for rejecting your belief system when you also reject the beliefs systems of others FOR THE SAME REASONS they reject yours! Reasonable lack of trust because of (1) unfamiliarity- it just sounds weird (like how certain foods from other cultures seem weird or even disgusting) because of your upbringing and accepted knowledge (2) not enough evidence or valid argument to convince you it is actually true and the more educated you are, the more substantive the evidence you will require and the more stringently you will judge the validity of the arguments presented (3) absolutely no emotional need to take a chance on it despite (1) and (2) because you already have positive ways of filling any gaps in your life and they work for you.

The moment you tell someone, “God says…” and then have to pull out a book written by men to show them what, you are asking a mammoth amount of trust from them. We all know the physical laws that govern planet earth today are as relevant now as they were millions of years ago. They are what shaped our present existence. So when we start dealing with virgin births, talking snakes, flying chariots and a mob of men wanting to gang-rape two angels, you are asking a mammoth amount of trust as well. The moment a religious person steps outside the domain of,

“This is my faith-based belief from my understanding of this holy book, which I also believe to be holy and true based on trust,”
and claims,

“This is absolute fact and all must abide by it and be bound by its statements or they will not only face damnation after death but it is totally justifiable to pursue their defamation and disenfranchisement in this life!”...

then the proper thing for any responsible truth seeker, journalist or policy maker to do is demand proofs by the same standards we use to determine all truths, test all theories, approve all insurable medical treatments.

If human society is to advance to the next stage of civilization- living harmoniously in multi-cultural societies; capable of making intelligent decisions to positively impact our ever fragile eco-systems and maximize our scant natural resources while ensuring that freedom does not mean freedom to infringe on anyone's fundamental human rights, we must restrict religion to its rightful place.

The overturning of Proposition 8 shows that real debate on claims made by religious folk can happen. In this case, when held against evidence from years of study from respected, peer reviewed medical and sociological bodies who regularly submit to scrutiny, the anti-gay religious and traditionalist arguments all fell flat. They had no scientific, sociological, historic or even medical proof valid enough to substantiate their claims.

A person of his or her own, adult, free-will should be free to decide to hold himself to any religious standard that impacts his own life, health, freedom, education, family, peace and security. However, if they want to decide the rights decisions and lives of others, whether one person or multitudes they must establish an objective and scientifically true basis for doing so. If they cannot, their statements must come with a disclaimer.

Here is mine:

What I share is my opinion based on my life experiences and my spiritual path. I share it without condition or expectation that anyone reading it must adopt it. I believe we each must walk our own path. Scientific truth can help us walk with knowledge of where we came and project where we can safely thread next. Spiritual truths can help us better appreciate the scenery on the way and feel less fatigued by the journey. The former is as absolute as the air you need to power your lungs while you walk. The latter is as personal as your individual stride and pace. We all need air to walk but we don’t all have to walk the exact same way, in fact some are unable to walk and use wheelchairs. It does not make them less deserving of basic human rights. It is with that attitude I approach science and spirituality.

Now that I have made my position clear and I believe fair to all, I think I am ready to get into the thick of it with Lack, the first of the three major setbacks of human progress.

2011 The Year We Prepare

2011-01-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

Every cycle of the earth around the sun has its own rhythm influenced by various planetary alignments. No two years are ever the same. I’m sure you’ve noticed how some years seem to drag while other years seem to race to the end. Some years start slow and finish fast. There are years that begin with total stability and end in chaos. Some are predominated by natural events, others dramatic human events. Some years feel victorious. Some feel laborious and others, tragic.

The major astrological discovery of 2010 was that the sun, like its stellar cousins, sings. Yes, it produces a constant beat, a key that reverberates through space. Adding to the symphony of this sound energy is the accompaniment of billions of stars interjecting their music and subtle variances. Every year has a distinct rhythm.

One of the key tactics of many spiritual seekers is to try to be in tune to the particular rhythm of a year. According to the principles of Numerology (for those who believe in the potent symbolism of numerals), 2010 was a Number 3 Year i.e.- 2+0+1+0=3 and it sure did feel like one.

Three is a very restless, uncertain numeral. It is indicative of huge creative leaps, shifts and growth. In 2010, laws that we never thought would get passed did- Health Care Reform, Marriage Equality and the end of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in the USA. California came very close to legalizing pot. Even more female leaders were elected around the world. Brave statements were made by various progressive groups challenging the status quo, economic paradigm and the established religious organizations. Can you believe the Pope actually said that condoms are okay for male prostitutes to avoid disease? But he did.

While last year did not feel very reassuring, all of these chaotic trusts forward are a sign we are still growing, learning, changing. That’s a good thing isn’t it? I am glad we are evolving and not stagnant. But we all know that growth hurts. Critical fluctuations in finances, health, foreign policy, interpersonal relationships and even the weather gave us all a lot of discomfort. I experienced the awesome and awesomely terrifying power of a real hurricane (Tomas in Saint Lucia) for the first time in my life.

This new year of 2011 is a number 4 year i.e.- 2+0+1+1=4.

Four is the number of earth, foundation, solidity, realness and stability.
Stability sounds like a really good thing now for many people who have been adversely affected by the uncertainty and rapid changes in 2010. However, if the kind of stability you are longing for in the upcoming Number 4 year ahead is political, economic, social, meteorological, seismic, environmental, well, the news is not so good.

Given the set up of 2010’s shift, there will continue to be some major natural “earth shaking” aftershocks in our man-made systems, values, societies, laws and relations. Seismologists predict a record number of earthquakes and climatologists predict a record number of storms. With all this seemingly never-ending, chaotic inconstancy in our natural and human world, how do we enjoy the foundation, solidity, realness and stability promised in a Number 4 year?
We enjoy it WITHIN.

Don't expect a break from the upheaval in 2011.

That’s right! The secure, comforting foundation of 4 stable corners and elements promised in 2011 is meant to be internally experienced.

If you were truly in tune with 2010, then you have already undergone a lot of growth deep down in your core and bravely submitted to the process despite the growing pains. You have sloughed off a lot of old baggage, useless or unhealthy friends, family or situations and thinking. If so, then you are more than ready to access the peaceful, solid certainty that will enable you to find the stillness in the eye of the storm that will continue swirling and culminate in an irreversible shift in 2012.
You already have in your hands, a survival kit and more than that, the key to open it and use what is inside.

Inside this survival kit are valuable lifesaving tools created by:

• All the universally true principles the human race has been taught by advanced souls around the globe, through the ages
• All that the human race knows is scientifically true based on pure, honest observation and deduction
• All the human race knows is ethically true from honestly examining our human history and human behavior free from any agenda and/or insecurity
• All your ability to honestly examine your internal and external factors and then creatively apply all of all of the above to enhance it.

The contents of this survival kit, skillfully applied can help you and our species survive and thrive. That is a comforting thing for those who have it and know how to open it.

Now if you missed 2010’s growth spurt, survival kit delivery and tutorial because you were distracted with unimportant matters, do not panic. In celebration of 2011, The Year We Prepare, I invite all who read my blog and any who stumble unto it to join me as I try to apply the tools that promise us connection to the still, stable, epicenter of our existence.

Consider this a crash course to tackle the three most crucial obstacles to perfection and progress we face. They are obstacles which the entire world will be forced to confront whether we like it or not or are ready or not. On the horizon is a soon-to-be-historic crossroad. When we arrive at it, we will be forced to choose to either drastically change our priorities and paradigms or stubbornly hold on to what is ailing our person and planet. At this moment, our very survival as a species will depend on overcoming:
1. Fear
2. Lack
3. Masculine/feminine imbalance.

These are the three areas that I will focus on using the survival kit. They have consistently been the priorities of genuine spiritual leaders from every culture in the world because to anyone who is even a little bit aware, it is so clear how they handicap our progress. Starting with…

Fear
Passive Manifestations- Apathy, regression, powerlessness, servitude/enslavement, stagnation, stress, sickness, addiction, deliberate ignorance/avoidance,
Active Manifestations- Prejudice, hate, clannishness, violence.

Spiritual, emotional, psychological and health gurus throughout the ages know that it is essential for us to evolve away from the primitive, powerless animal. Instead of reacting out of a desperate struggle to survive we need to shift towards proactive, powerful and purposeful living. Overcoming fear safeguards us from being exploited by the less moral people in religion, politics and commerce. It makes us able to listen to the nobler inclinations of our humanity: Forgiveness, Compassion, Curiosity, Creativity, Knowledge, Growth, without worrying about consequences.

Get your "Fear Shot" this year.

From Christ’s admonishment not to fear those who can only destroy the body but not the soul, to the Eastern wisdoms inspiring honor and dharma even in the face of death to the fearless non-violent surrender of great people like Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr., the time has come for us to be able to prioritize truth, love and the fullest realization of the human spirit over rudimentary survival or mercenary ends. We will never be able to make empowered choices in our lives otherwise. Make 2011 the year you get inoculated against fear.

Lack
Passive Manifestations- Unworthiness, ingratitude, insecurity, disappointment, neediness (emotional & material), poverty (mental & material)
Active Manifestations- Envy, greed/gluttony/ meglomania, hubris

Like unfounded fear, here is another outmoded survival tool in need of a serious revamp. The need to hoard, fatten and grab to stay alive served us well but now it is time to temper it with perspective and sustainable preservation. Our competitive streak needs to give way to our compassionate streak in all aspects of our lives. It’s time to remove clutter from our homes and burdensome ego build-up in our hearts. Our feelings are too easily hurt. There is rampant discontentment and depression even when we have every reason to count our blessings. We are incapable of feeling happy about where we are, what we have and why we make decisions unless we can see someone else deprived for not doing the same or having the same. We seem unable to choose self-mastery over self-righteousness.

Take your Anti-discontentment Prescription against feelings of lack.

Contentment, gratitude and a deep inner self-satisfaction is more than just a spiritual benefit but science is now revealing it may very well save our lives and our planet. This year it’s time to access the antidote to discontentment which can be taken before or after envy, false pride, ego strikes at your heart and releases harmful stress and obesity causing hormones or triggers sordid greed-filled actions.

Masculine And Feminine Imbalance
Passive Manifestations- Low self-esteem, biological slavery, feelings of abandonment, infantilism, shame, powerlessness, fear of change/inconstancy/nature
Active Manifestations- Domination/conquest, repression, viral expansion, racism, homophobia, misogyny, violence.

The biggest war raging right now on our planet is not the War on Terror or the War on Drugs. In fact, all wars can be traced to the ultimate and original war- The Battle Of The Sexes. It is on this violent front that we need peacekeepers, more dialogue and resolutions on every level of combat:

• Between men and women on the front of the family, society, relationships, gender roles and human sexuality
• Spiritually and religiously where there is the destruction and continued denial of the Female Divine counterbalance to the Male Divine, resulting in a skewed society monopolized by the monotheistic, macho and machochistic imperatives
• Economically/socially- the predominance of the Omega societies/systems concerned with hierarchical order, material acquisition, expansion and domination over the Alpha communal material sharing, preservation and harmonization.

Get your gender issues back into balance this year.

The survival kit has the ointments, splints and bandages to repair the extensive damage caused by thousands of years of the primitive aspects of the testosterone factor being allowed to run amok. It can repair the damage of colonialism, religious fundamentalism, consumerism and many other “isms” ruining our planet. We can get in touch once more with our “Mother” whose absence from our lives is felt in ways that just might surprise you. We can help men and women relate better to one another and be free of sexual shame and sexual dishonesty. We can unite science and spirituality. We can balance the masculine and feminine within and in doing so, achieve Ishvara- spiritual and emotional freedom from biological/sociological gender limitations and the ability to walk the path of the higher genderless soul- our true identity.

The Gloves Are Off

I usually take great pains to be diplomatic especially when it comes to religion. I often run the risk of having my altruism and universality mistaken for weakness of position. You see, many fundamentalists rate conviction and accuracy based on the narrowness of your path and the unwavering passion of your protracted battles against “enemies” not your ability to establish common threads and consider new angles.

On the other hand, we “free-thinkers” never aggressively campaign against any “enemy” save ignorance, fear, hatred, lack in whatever form it comes, even if it is within our own cliques or belief systems. Therefore we cannot be as stalwart and unchanging. We are growing in knowledge. Things change and grow and so must the stances we take even if the core principles remain the same. We can never compromise our humanity for a belief system. If following a rule or principle involves harming another, we would rather break the rule. This is what separates us from the fundamentalists for whom any inhumane means justifies an end believed to be noble.

Today I will take the gloves off and say that fundamentalists who refuse to even allow the possibility of alternatives, even in a limitless universe and refuse to listen openly, change their mind and grow are a hindrance to the survival of our planet. It is time for us who bridge the gaps between secular and spiritual, science and sentiment, atheist and theist, human rights and human religion to make a firmer stand. We have many names. They call us moderates, open-minded, independent thinkers, truth seekers, new-agers, liberals, fair-minded.

Let this be the year they call us champions of the new world to come.

We who are open to seeing the THE truth about God/Universe, the human condition, our history, no matter how much it requires us to question, change, explore, examine, be open to listening to opposing arguments, research, experiment, change our mind, agree, disagree, find common ground, challenge it, change again ad infinitum must make a stand against people who claim to have absolute truth without submitting to the same process.

We who walk the harder more uncertain path of the spiritual and intellectual adult CANNOT continue to be cowed by spiritual and intellectual infants! Those who are incapable of applying truth processes and tolerance principles must be excluded from determining the future of our planet.

What do I mean by Truth Processes?- Is it scientifically true? Is it historically true? Is it universally ethically/morally true? If it is a personal/subjective truth then is it clearly defined as such? Anything you cannot prove by any scientific means or valid historical precedent you MUST share with open-ended, unconditionality. You never use coercion or deceptive tactics to prove a belief.

What do I mean by the Tolerance Principles- You never seek to inflict personal beliefs on others as absolute/scientific truth just to get validation, pass judgment or enjoy power over them. You never use your personal/subjective truth as a justification for infringing on another’s human rights, privacy, reputation, well-being and prosperity. You allow all their fair and free chance to choose self-actualization.

There are people on this planet who outright REFUSE to abide by these peaceful, fair-minded principles and it is for this reason, the gloves are off!

It may rock our peace-loving sensibilities to hurt feelings, crush egos and challenge comfort zones that make others feel so safe but where we find fear, lack, pride, greed, envy and dominion we must find the courage to speak up and out. Where you see untruth, injustice, ignorance, needless suffering, imbalance, denial of free choice, then your mission is clear regardless of cultural and belief differences.

We must stand firm against the “isms” and phobias that result in the opposite of encouraging curiosity and openness to learning, even if we find it in our own hearts, which from time to time, we will. I often uncover "isms" and phobias in my life where I least expect and only because I am open to having them pointed out by family, friends and my own conscience. Fundamentalists have no such conscience, checks and balances and the time has come for the world to be wary of them for this very reason. The subjectivity they accuse us of, is also a facet of their lives for they can never live up to their rigid rules either. Whether they like it or not, the human disposition is compelled to be flexible, open and changing and hypocrisy is the only way they can hide their human disposition while monitoring their neighbours' conduct.

Now is the time to grow strong, deep roots in the principles that enable inner peace, holistic health, sustainable prosperity and true spirituality. If there is merit to Numerolgy and all the predictions, then the Number 5 year of 2012 will bring potent chaos, confusion and seeming catastrophe for many.

Magical or mayhem? How you experience 2012 all depends on your preparedness.

It is my wish that there will be many friends, family, fellowmen who are rooted, fearless and open to true community. May 2012’s Number 5 to be experienced as the magical integer, the fifth dimension, the fifth chakra of creative power and universal expression that makes our ascension assured.

Exploiting Homophobia To Exploit Africa

2010-11-18T10:29:00.001-08:00

Homosexuals can really come in handy and not for the reasons you think.

You see, when a politician in a third world, post colonial country, finds himself in a bind, “Blame The Gays” is always a reliable tactic. Those who are frustrated by the spread of HIV among their young women and children but do not want to address root issues like ignorance, gender inequality, female economic disempowerment and irresponsible, overly entitled heterosexual male behavior, they can too can blame the gays. If a political opponent is gaining more popularity and their intellectual clout and integrity is you showing up, insinuate that they are gay/or that they support gays. Need a quick, easy diversion as you allow foreign NGOs to come into your country and set up shop with no paperwork or records that will enable you and your cronies to skim off the top while your people suffer? Get your citizens distracted and fired up on Christian homophobia. While they are busy hunting down, outing, exorcising, punishing, killing gays and lesbians in the name of Jesus and African Pride, have your round table meetings and broker multimillion dollar deals. Need to whip up some nationalism against the first world countries that have exposed your regime as despotic? Then claim the European gays are attempting to come again into your country with neo-colonialist plots to recruit your children into homosexuality.

Think this is far-fetched?

It is not. The reality is that homophobia is regularly employed as a political tool in Africa, even right here in the Caribbean, most recently in Jamaica, the PM was accused of being a “battyman” and has to make regular comments supporting the homophobia of his constituents or risk their wrath. When gays get lynched, politicians get popular, elected, rich and powerful.

However what is even more distressing is the use of Christianity to whip up the hatred. The situation became so dire in Uganda that Nobel Peace Prize Winner Desmond Tutu had to respond publically on Friday March 12, 2010 thusly:

“Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people are part of so many families. They are part of the human family. They are part of God's family. And of course they are part of the African family. But a wave of hate is spreading across my beloved continent. People are again being denied their fundamental rights and freedoms. Men have been falsely charged and imprisoned in Senegal, and health services for these men and their community have suffered. In Malawi, men have been jailed and humiliated for expressing their partnerships with other men. Just this month, mobs in Mtwapa Township, Kenya, attacked men they suspected of being gay. Kenyan religious leaders, I am ashamed to say, threatened an HIV clinic there for providing counseling services to all members of that community, because the clerics wanted gay men excluded.

Uganda's parliament is debating legislation that would make homosexuality punishable by life imprisonment, and more discriminatory legislation has been debated in Rwanda and Burundi.

These are terrible backward steps for human rights in Africa.

The wave of hate must stop. Politicians who profit from exploiting this hate, from fanning it, must not be tempted by this easy way to profit from fear and misunderstanding. And my fellow clerics, of all faiths, must stand up for the principles of universal dignity and fellowship. Exclusion is never the way forward on our shared paths to freedom and justice.”

Bishop Desmond Tutu and Coretta Scott King represent one kind of Christianity.

Pat Robertson and the representatives of the Christian Right represent another.

Bishop Tutu of course represents a kind of Christianity that is mainly concerned with Liberation Theology which is extremely sensitive to issues regarding human rights, poverty, inequality and social justice. It is the kind of Christianity that is also personified in the likes of people like Martin Luther King Jr., whose widow, Coretta Scott King, speaking at a 25th anniversary celebration for the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund four days before the 30th anniversary of her husband's assassination, said:
"I still hear people say that I should not be talking about the rights of lesbian and gay people and I should stick to the issue of racial justice. But I hasten to remind them that Martin Luther King Jr. said, 'Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.'"

On the opposite, dimmer, far right end of the Christian spectrum are those who throughout history have been ambivalent or supportive of injustice. They happily attended segregated churches in South Africa and Southern USA. They protested against Brown vs. The Board of Education that would desegregate schools. America’s Religious Right comprised of several Protestant faiths particularly the Southern Baptists, Pentecostals and Evangelicals, has a history of supporting racism, segregation and apartheid.

They also support America’s conservative foreign policies on the basis that it is America’s divine right to engage in capitalist exploitation of third world countries with the cooperation of their despotic leaders, as long as there is just enough foreign aid and missionary work to make the population Christian.

Pat Robertson's television show, The 700 Club and TBN and CBN networks are broadcast all over Africa. Would it surprise African people to know that Robertson is part of an American neo-Conservative group called The Institute on Religion and Democracy (IRD), formed in 1981 with the aim of blocking the spread of every single self-sustained, progressive social and economic movement by intellectual Africans seeking self governance and freedom from oppression by racist, minority rule? The man preaching Christ’s love supported apartheid and the white minority rule in Rhodesia (now South Africa and Zimbabwe).

Today, Africa is still bursting with untapped wealth in gold, diamonds, oil, minerals and fertile land ripe for American corporations to pick. However outright colonial oppression is frowned upon by the international community and the UN keeps making their foreign aid require greater transparency so that despotic leaders do not get to siphon everything. So how do American corporations get their way into the African continent without scrutiny for transparency, environmental, industrial safety standards and human rights? Get charity organizations by the Religious Right to front for them.

Ever wondered why lately so many white American conservatives who never really cared about black people on their U.S of A, suddenly seem extremely driven to be the sole supplier of social services, education, and financial assistance all the way across the Atlantic in Africa? Today their Evangelical charities like World Vision, Solar Light for Africa, and the IRD-founded Five Talents are everywhere on the Mother Continent.

They intercept African religious leaders and eventually get them to reject funding from mainline Christian charities and secular sources of aid which require extensive documentation and extensive accounting of how the money is spent. All the African religious and political leaders have to do is sign on to a Conservative platform which includes vehemently abstinence only, anti-pagan, anti-Muslim and anti-gay policies that would never fly in any first world, developed country and the money starts flowing in! Local religious leaders and politicians line their pockets. Most people in Africa are unaware and unable to distinguish between a mainstream Christian charity and a far Right Christian charity whose true allegiance is to American expansionist beliefs and multi-national corporations, not Christ. They never give without wanting something in return.

Just in case anyone begins to suspect when people start lining their pockets and no-bid contracts begin happening, the American Religious Right have one more weapon in their arsenal to divert people’s attention to the truth- homophobia.

American Evangelicals Rick Warren, Scott Lively, Caleb Lee Brundidge, Don Schmierer, Richard Cohen and others are now on the defensive after being confronted about their visit to Uganda to spread their anti-gay sermons and offer up their quack conversion therapies (rejected by every respected medical and psychological authority in North America and Europe) to the unsuspecting African people.

In the New York Times, they claim they had no idea their anti-gay crusade was the equivalent of pouring gasoline on a smoldering fire.

Rick Warren and the evangelical mission that went to Uganda to spread anti-gay messages now claim innocence in any possible link between their campaign and the firestorm of homophobia that came afterwards.

But how could they not know? Any missionary doing the most basic homework before their visit would know that the poor, vulnerable and uneducated tend to be the most meek, pious and pliable by those standards, African people are wide open to unquestioningly accepting a "Man of God"s words at face value. Did these savvy American preachers not know that African people have seen their families decimated by disease and are desperate to re-build strong families. So anything labeled anti-family or a threat to children would inspire violent reaction. Did these American preachers not know that in post-colonial African countries there is a strong cultural drive to recapture pride and power after being emasculated for so long by colonialists, resulting in a hyper-masculine society that sees feminine traits as weakness, especially in men. Are we to believe that they were innocent of fanning these flames into full fledge homophobia when they told Ugandans lies that they would never dare mention in the USA, Canada or Europe; that their gay and lesbian neighbours, friends, children, siblings, are anti-Christian, anti-family and anti-African.

Afrocentrists have become so far removed their own true shamanic, authentic African heritage, they actually believe “the white man” brought homosexuality to what was a 100% heterosexual Africa. Ironically they play right into the hands of racists who assert that Africans are “primitive children of nature” who only know how to mate like animals and cannot have such a thing as indigenous homosexuality because it only exists in advanced cultures among advanced races who have the intellectual complexity to appreciate such variances in romantic love and sex.

The fact is, African spirituality and culture like those of most indigenous peoples, recognized masculine and feminine as equally Divine! This translated into a cultural ease with all aspects of sexuality including natural anomalies like homosexuals and hermaphrodites. There was and still is nothing homophobic about the Orisha or Vodun tradition. In West African/Yoruba tradition, the celestial creator deity Mawu-Lisa is presented as intersex or trangendered. Other androgynous gods include Nana Buluku, the "Great Mother" that gave birth to Lisa and Mawa and created the universe, and contains both male and female essences. Africans were far more sexually sophisticated than the prudish, repressed, hypocritical Christian Europeans who brought their homophobia with them and there is actual historical, anthropological and ethnological evidence that shows that homosexual practices existed in abundance in pre-colonial Africa.

Gay witchhunting, persecution and arrests are on the rise.

The San people native to the area of Zimbabwe (ironically now a very hostile place towards gays) left cave drawings showing portrayals of man on man sex. There are accounts among the Pangwe of Camaroon of men within their tribe who even when offered a large bride price, still prefer to court other men. The indigenous Igbo people of Nigeria allowed “female husbands” women who displayed more masculine tendencies were treated as men and allowed to hunt and to marry other women. Among the Azande in what is now the Democratic Republic of the Congo, it was perfectly acceptable for royalty to take young male lovers. Tribes in pre-colonial Burkina Faso and South Africa regarded lesbians as astrologers and traditional healers. In the region known as Angola, for generations before Europe arrived, homosexual men called jimbandaa known by their special attire and had a place within their culture but under the new brutal Portuguese regime, it was criminalized and even today their penal records show the harsh punishments meted out.

The authentic spirituality of most African cultures is not homophobic.

Ironic isn’t it that thousands of years ago it was the “white man” who was the prude and we were the free, scantily clad, sexually liberated children of Mother Africa. Can you imagine the Europeans standing there, gouty, pink, overdressed, repressed, sweating in the tropical sun while in utter shock and envy at our ancestors’ near naked nubile women, fit, glistening warrior bodied men and our ability to rotate our hips in dance, hinting at our sexual prowess which the European had long lost when the Church made their spines rigid with shame.

The colonialists were terribly successful at making Africans and their descendents terribly mortified of ourselves and every aspect of our spirituality and sexuality. Now in the 21st Century, it seems the new Neo-Conservative plan is to implement Plan B- exploit that shame. Look, here they come again! Gouty, pink, overdressed, repressed American Evangelicals sweating in the tropical heat. Missionaries paved the road for colonialists the first time around. Have the African people forgotten who in the end got the bible and piety and who got the land and wealth?

Emancipating The White Man Part 2- Where Do We Go From Here?

2010-08-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

How Whites Were Harmed By Slavery And Racism

Yes, you are reading the headline correctly.

I have already gone into much detail about how slavery and racism has impacted black people. However, if we are to be fair and demonstrate true spiritual enlightenment then we cannot claim that slavery and racism is so poisonous to the human spirit its ill effects can manifest through generations, then not also admit that it has negatively impacted white people as well. Of course it has

A poem about a white supremicist. It takes a strong, forgiving and empathetic soul to delve into the mind of a racist and see the real human insecurity and suffering inside the harsh exterior as this brave female poet did here.

This essay is especially for the poor white man . You see, the Rich White Man has a lot invested in securing the poor white man's undivided support of the systems that keep the Rich White Man on top. The poor white man has been convinced that he will somehow get a preferred seat at America’s table ahead of anyone else just because his is Christian and white. The poor black and brown man is being used by politicians as well with the same "We'll take care of you," speil because you are separate and a “special case” from the poor whites. The truth is, both poor, working and middle class blacks and whites are in the same basket. They all need help affording education and health services. They all need to have gainful employment and despite not being wealthy are no less deserving of clean air, water, healthy food and a life affirming existence.

Preventing the lower classes of various cultures from uniting and stirring up revolution has been fundamental aspect of Western civilization after several “ruling classes” fell to revolution and communism. One of the easiest ways to “manage the poor” is divide and conquer. In Trindiad and Tobago it is Poor Rural Indian against Poor Urban/Housing Development Black. In the USA there is also one political party for the poor white man and one for the poor black man to prevent them from coming together and comparing notes. It worked for a while too but finally, the poor white man and the poor black man are comparing notes. They are realizing they have been merely voting for politicians who feign similar values just to keep those mercenary bottom lines healthy for a hierarchy that has no intention of ever letting the table get too crowded, even by those they claim are ‘their people’.

So which do you prefer? The vampire who makes an effort to seduce and lull with pleasure before sucking or one who just brutally and boldly sinks his teeth in? Or do you prefer to be free and independent of vampires altogether?

The meaning of the words of the late Martin Luther King, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” cannot be lost on anyone. Any system that seeks to deny anybody social justice, equal rights and equal opportunity cannot be trusted with your rights, even if it seems to favor “your kind of people” today, the fact remains, the system itself is innately corrupt. The time will come when you too will become “those people” on the outside. For many Americans, that time is now. They have suddenly found themselves outside the “Keeping up with the Jonses, upper middle class-happily heterosexually married, Christian” circle and they do not know what to do!

Some of course, have reverted to the same old blame game and are falling right into the hands of politicians. Don't people realize by now that the only difference between the Democrats and Republicans, Liberals and Conservatives is in their preferred methods of pacification while they engage in vampirism and faithful service to the same boss for the same bottom line?. The Democrats play on the “underdog” mentality and actually try to make its victims feel tangibly “taken care of,” and able to get a sense of self-validation while being sucked dry by the same expansionist hierarchy. The Republicans play into the Way of The Bully, a more upfront approach. We’ll destroy all too weak to fight us off, join us and maybe we won’t pick on you right now.

The Effects Of Walking The Way Of The Bully For Centuries

The Way Of The Bully The ability to feel self-esteem only by robbing a weaker person of theirs has become a deeply ingrained trait in American culture. There is very little “honour” in the approach of many to American Dream, just personal profit and self preservation by whatever means.

Can we agree that it is unhealthy to be raised with even the slightest inkling that you can more or less expect to be treated as superior and have any injustice you commit excused either by blaming a weaker person unable to defend themselves or taking advantage of someone powerless to fight back? Not all people are honorable enough to resist that tempting and comfortable stance. Can we agree that over time, it can become a powerful source of false entitlement? Can we agree that once generationally ingrained it can be just as difficult to root out as the feelings of disempowerment and despondency that plagues many poor black communities who continue to be bullied?

In the days of Jim Crow, many whites who had nothing else going for them could always fall back on merely being white as their only source of self-esteem. A fat, harangued white woman who lost all her good looks and was stuck in a bad marriage could still get a little boost when more attractive beautiful Nubian princess was walking down the street. The unattractive, doughy white woman could still take pleasure in forcing the black beauty to humbly get out of her way and walk in the drain…or else. The poor white man who was too unattractive to get a lovely, white woman and saw a strapping, good looking black man being admired by scores of black women could call him "Boy" and put him in his place.

No matter what ailed the fragile ego; jealousy, family strife, economic hardship, sickness or gross misdeeds it could be alleviated by infringing on someone else instead of learning more enlightened coping skills through intellectual, emotional and spiritual development. This is what many Americas learned from infancy- your well-being hinges on another’s deprivation. You cannot truly enjoy “having” unless you know someone else is being excluded and is a “have-not” and you can laud over them. Only then “having” becomes extra special. This is not a phenomenon only among white Americans, the post-colonial African Diaspora have also learned this as well and it results in the “crab in barrel” counter-productive attitudes we display to one another. It makes black communities implode with sabotage, it's not like they can take it out on anyone else. However for many centuries we have proven that white people can take it out on whomever they want. They just have to be rich or connected enough and have enough self-serving sycophants to justify and perpetuate the bullying whether against Native Americans, third world countries or the working class American auto-maker.

Imagine the shock to the system when this bullying source of self-esteem was first challenged. Imagine how racists feel when it continues to be challenged and suddenly they are being demonized (rightfully so) by what appears to be the entire nation, even Conservatives are denying any association to them. To make matters worse, they have never learned how to sustain their ego by any other means and nobody is interested in rehabilitating or showing them how. They cannot even turn to their religion for guidance.

The neglected message of love, forgiveness, compassion and the Golden Rule is one of the ways politics stemmed from racist objectives has hurt many white Christians in America who have so much anger and discontentment rotting their insides, it seems not even Jesus can heal it.

Remember, true Christianity- the rejection of hatred, materialism, status , judgment and grasping for political power in favor of love, non-vengeance, forgiveness, heavenly reward, brotherhood and charity taught by Jesus has never been something embraced by the Rich White Man’s circle ever! Greed is and always has been their main motivating factor. They were instrumental in getting white Christian people to harden their hearts and agree to slave labor, exploitative labor, Jim Crow and racial discrimination while hypocritically trying to represent Christian values. So it should come as no surprise when today many white people and some self-hating or stupid black and brown people too, do not even know the difference between the teachings of Christ and the highly politicized Capitalist Dominionism that passes for Christianity in America today.

The Conservative Rich White Man needs the Poor White Man to engage in a paradoxical spiritual self-delusion and willingly accept that Government support of unbridled capitalism is more Christian than any form of social caring, inner contentment and environmental conservation..

America is now full of people who are still unable to cope with the reality that their life is not supposed to be better simply because they are white and “Christian”. No time does this hurt them more than during an economic crisis when competition is fierce for even the most menial jobs. Klan and anti-immigrant activity spiked during the Great Depression and we should not be surprised by the increase in racial hostilities at this time, especially the irrational distrust expressed by certain fractions of white America towards the bi-racial President to fix the economic mess he inherited from a President who they more or less allowed to run amok. Their racism does not manifest as lynching and burning crosses.

Those who have always felt, they were losing their rightful place in America since Harry Belafonte’s televised duet with Petula Clarke and Brown vs. The Board of Education have long changed stratagem. They replaced “white” with “Christian” and “patriot” and now hide behind the cloak of “Religious Right” and Conservative.

Apathy, Numbness, Blindness To Injustice

Still think slavery and racism has not adversely affected white people? There is a deeply ingrained legacy of avoidance of anything potentially unpleasant known as WASPish behaviour and it is extremely unhealthy. Indeed many White Anglo Saxon Protestant people descended from the more affluent colonials were raised to turn a blind eye; don’t get involved even when they have the opportunity to do the right thing. This coping mechanism and fear of being bullied by ones’ own became necessary in order to ignore the tug of their conscience while people are being enslaved, sold, lynched, raped and sent to prison for crimes they did not commit. I call it the “monkey see no evil, Marie Antoinette ” phenomenon.

For years whites who grew up with Jim Crow or Apartheid cultivated and passed down to their children, a filter of fear; fear to speak up or cause a confrontational row, most of all, fear of being cast out of the privileged circle. They developed and passed along the ability to not only ignore atrocities and injustice but excuse them, often in ridiculous ways as Barbara Bush demonstrated when she said that Katrina (predominantly poor, black) victims should be happy to be in a football stadium rather than their slums.

Only a paltry one third who saw this incident actually spoke up. Most were too afraid to do anything or were perhaps complicit with the racist sentiments being expressed in this social experiment.

This fearful paralysis often leads to total apathetic blindness which is exposed in social experiments like ABC’s What Would You Do. One episode revealed how long it took people to notice and confront racism happening right before their eyes. A scenario was set up where a “nice” white, female, mature, real estate agent was denying non-whites access at an open house in a predominantly white suburb. The most immediate and most vocal confrontations of the racist came from you guessed it, another minority as well as women. In the end, the report revealed that only a paltry one third who saw the incident actually spoke up. Most were too afraid to do anything or were perhaps complicit with the racist sentiments being expressed. Many are content to say,” I know I am not be racist but that does not mean I am going to get personally involved in those people’s problems!”

Bill O’Reilly said on an internationally available network in prime time that he was shocked black people actually used knives and forks when he visited a black-owned restaurant in Harlem. He is representative of many who continue to assert they not personally stained by racism while saying things that are blatantly racist all the time.

The ingrained after-effects of “monkey see no evil Marie Antoinette” method often gets warped into a form of angry defensiveness, like Saint Peter angrily denying Christ out of fear of being associated with him and victimized as well. This is combined with a desperation to belong to the privileged club often makes many seem soulless, callous and lacking any kind of moral fortitude. Some white people, especially from the younger generations, become so embrarrassed and disgusted by their own people, they reject their European heritage completely and adopt the culture of those they consider the noble victims. It is similar to how some black people become racist against other blacks because of disenchantment and embarrassment with the behavioural ills rampant in their communities.

You Cannot Forget What Is Yet To Be Forgiven And Fixed

Since the 1950s, it has become necessary for the Rich White Man not to totally alienate minority voters. In this aspect the Democrats who represent their set of Rich White Men, have been first out the gate in winning minority hearts and minds. Now the Conservatives are realizing they cannot protect their Rich White Men without also reaching out to minorities. There is just one problem, their bullying legacy, Jim Crow, the Sothern Baptists enforcing segregation.

Their solution?

Use scary homosexual nupitals to get homophobic minorities to find common ground with them. Trot out the few minority spokespeople they have who found more personal validation in The Way of The Bully than the lonlier and less financially viable Way of the Warrior. Most of all, remove all potential unpleasant historical reminders of the inhumanity and injustice their Right Wing fractions supported back in the day and way before that.

Texas Board of Education have revised their school curriculum and text books to change the name of the Slave Trade to the Atlantic Triangular Trade and emphasize the positive side of expansionism over the negative. FOX News had the gumption to call it a more "patriotic" syllabus.

Economic-driven politics and religion are interfering with America’s healing process from slavery and racism. We see the result in black Americans who cannot speak frankly about of racism without the FOX News and radio bigots feeling overly affronted. They wish to erase all memory of slavery and any mention of current racism faster than an unfaithful spouse afraid of alimony wants his reconciled wife to forget his indiscretions. They just want the betrayed black and brown American wife to unconditionally trust them and willingly reopen her legs without requiring them to undergo any counseling, STD tests or even use a condom. However the effects of hundred years of violent, systematic disempowerment followed by another hundred plus years of terrorism, segregation, injustice and discrimination, some of which still continues even now cannot be so easily forgotten and those who wish to trivialize it end up coming across as even more racist as a result.

It is almost hilarious when whites representing Conservative issues suddenly choose to become forgetfully noble, incredibly naïve and irrelevantly idealistic about race just when it suits their objectives. Case in point is Affirmative Action.

Conservatives love to go:
“Why do we need Affirmative Action? If you are truly exceptional at what you do of course you will succeed black, white, red or green! By giving minorities an extra consideration aren't we now discriminating against white people? Two wrongs do not a right make!”

At first this sounds so noble!

On deeper examination, you realize it is bullshit.

The fact is that America is a nation of C-Average students. In fact, in any country, the truly exceptional- the geniuses and super athletes usually comprise a small top percentile and require a fair amount of privilege or luck to be identified early and subsequently nurtured and rightfully rewarded for their genius.

The vast majority of us however are B & C-Averages. Now, here is the catch! No black person with a C average from an inner-city school could EVER dare dream of being the CEO of a blue chip company.

How underperformance of poor inner city schools has been handled in America before standardiztion, reflects the "monkey see no evil" on both political fronts. The Liberals lowered the standards so black children could get an A when they should really be getting a C. The Conservatives kept the standards the same and cut back spending on social programmes in inner city neighbourhoods. They then use the resulting underperformance of the predominantly black students as a way to tout how inferior black student is, completely free from any context. Both methods are inherently racist and insulting. Neither approach addresses the systematic racist approaches by the establishment to black neighbourhoods resulting in disenfranchised, dysfunctional, dangerous, disempowering households and communities that produce students who are unable to learn at school.

As a black female friend of mine, working for a media company in New York put it,
“Unlike my white work colleagues, I cannot get away with being AVERAGE. I have to be exceptional. It's called the "black tax" or "black insurance". When they take sick days, I am at work. I cannot relax for a second. I know I am fighting an uphill battle doubled for being a woman and re-doubled for being black. I need that little extra MBA or CEO recommendation. I need to constantly put my white boss at ease that I am not going to use his million-dollar company budget to buy Kentucky Fried Chicken and crack!”.

Now I do not believe that an unqualified or even under-qualified person, black or white, male or female should be given a “pass” simply because of a quota and take the place of a more qualified candidate. I also totally disagree with solving the underperformance of schools in poor districts by lowering standards instead of improving the level of teaching and innovative solutions to the unique social challenges that stem from growing up in poverty. However, it is highly “monkey see no evil" behavior to think that without being mandated, the educational, private and public institutions will allow C-Average minorities an equal chance to even get their foot in the door and prove their ability as university students and employees.

We continue to reward “what name and money can buy” instead of what true character can accomplish. Anyone with average intelligence and minimum self-discipline who is coddled the right way by the best learning tools, best supervision and best extracurricular activities money can buy can get an A Grade. But not everyone can turn out a C-Average while dealing with community and domestic issues stemmed from poverty that would even make most people resort to violence, drugs or suicide. So until the same, exceptional opportunities are afforded to all, then “exceptional” in the mouth of a Conservative against Affirmative Action is just a code-word for “exceptionally privileged” which in most cases in America, still means white.

It is "Marie Antoinette, let them eat cake” mentality to somehow not see that a C-Average by anybody (Black, white, Asian, Mexican) who obtained it under exceptional circumstances like poverty, warding off gangs, working to help the family, dodging stray bullets in shootouts, living on a malnourishing inner city diet, with a single parent, few role models and constant reminders of failure and hopelessness all around is a far more exceptional measure of brilliance compared to an A-Average coaxed out of a privileged student (black, white, Asian or Mexican) through private tutoring, supportive home environment, safe neighborhood, world travel, personal computers and home libraries and a choice of self-esteem, brain power boosting extracurricular activities at a pristine, well-funded school with teachers who can afford to pay individual attention to students.

I would erase ethnicity ENTIRELY from Affirmative Action and make it about favoring those of the lower economic class only. A poor person, black or white who has clearly demonstrated a willingness and effort to succeed despite amazing odds should be encouraged through preferred rewards. Now that is the real fulfillment of the “American Dream”.

Anyone with average intelligence who is coddled the right way by the best learning tools and supervision money can buy can get an A. But not everyone can turn out a C-Average while dealing with issues that would even make the adults in this forum resort to suicide. So until the same opportunities are afforded to all to be exceptional, then “exceptional” in the mouth of a Conservative against Affirmative Action is just a code-word for “exceptionally privileged” which in most cases, still means white. So who are we kidding by trying to pretend the playing field has somehow become miraculously leveled? When did that happen? Who or what made this historic event in America happen? As far as I know, money (and all it can buy), legacy and family name still hold the most sway.

The only change I would make to Affirmative Action is include poor whites as well. If you got your C-Average living in a trailer park with an alcoholic father, meth addiction and violence all around you and you had to work a night job just to feed yourself while doing it, well you DESERVE a chance to show me what you can do with a full scholarship and a healthy, nurturing environment full of mentors and opportunities. If I was poor, white and American that is what I would be protesting about. I would take affront to the fact that a person who grew up with every privilege and opportunity to succeed but still turned in a lackluster C-Average and sucked as the CEO of a company could still dream of being the Leader of the Free World and actually become it.

America does not reward "character" enough and then wonders why it has increasing numbers of spoiled brats in power and too many university graduates who are actually dumb once they hit the real workplace and spoiled slackers who cannot decide what they want to do with their life because for the first time they have to motivate themselves without the coddling of mom, dad and a roster of well paid for educational and extracirricular activities. Many privileged students cannot prove themselves efficient at real-life decisions, they just know the most effective cramming methods for tests. Meanwhile truly talented diamonds in the rough with street smarts, creativity, moral fortitude to endure hardship and the ability to self-motivate and dream from ghettos and trailer parks are becoming too despondent to even try anymore.

Seeing what has happened to Shirley Sherrod this July, we have a long way to go yet. There is far too much milking and applause when a white man coddled by the system, admits his racism and repents. He gets standing ovations and Oscar worthy story-lines. When a black woman who was the victim of racism does the same, she gets raked over the coals by the media. This is just too reminiscent of that scene from the movie A Color Purple set in the 1920s. Sophie (played by Oprah Winfrey) makes the mistake of rebuffing a “nice” white woman who wants to take her kids home as if they were puppies or something. The white woman expects Sophie to be humbly grateful like a good little negro “girl” and be instantly amenable to her request. Sophie isn’t and rudely refuses. A passing white man slaps her for her impertinence. Sophie does the unthinkable and she slaps the white man right back and is promptly surrounded by an entire group of white men, beaten up and sent to prison. In 1920, incidents like these were probably commonplace though unlike Rodney King, there were no video cameras to record the misplaced outrage, defensiveness and overreaction that continues to plague many white people up till now.

How Do We Move On Together?

Freedom from the legacy of slavery and racism for both black and white is within reach. It lies in forgiveness which starts with acknowledging what happened, what is still happening and perhaps most of all, who was truly responsible and its traumatic effects on everyone and what must be done to make it an even playing field again, without infringing on anyone's human rights.

There is no need for white people to overburden themselves with unnecessary guilt and do-goodness or walk around with fearful paranoia of doing or saying the wrong thing around minorities, which often results in a kind of disingenuous political correctness that is actually worse. Honesty is always much better and leads to more meaningful, solid relationships. Trust me, as someone with many productive interracial, cross cultural, cross religious, cross-economic class relationships. You have to have the “unpleasant conversations” in order for your interracial relationships to be valid. Most black people appreciate honesty over the sugar-coated bullshit. Come out and say what you are really feeling. It is a vital part of the healing process.

So get your black friend, colleague, family member and say:

“I was raised to be afraid of black people and I admit it still affects me even though I know better.”

“It is hard to both love and respect my parents and family members and yet acknowledge they were and sometimes still are in many ways, shamefully racist.”

“It is hard being excluded or whispered about by all the people I was raised to think are my friends, fellow Christians, community members and it makes me second-guess standing up for what is right when it comes to race relations. Sometimes I just want to fit in and be accepted.”

“When I watch or listen to historical accounts of slavery or read or see examples of racism today it makes me feel ashamed and guilty even though I did not enslave anyone and I know I am not racist. It makes me feel helpless that I cannot do anything about it and scared minorities might still be angry and take it out on me.”

“Sometimes it makes me angry that certain black people might look at me and just assume I am part of the problem not part of the solution and make judgements about me just because I am white but I feel powerless and frustrated to express how I feel because they always have the biggest victim card to play instead of really listening to my side of the story.”

Hopefully that black friend, colleague, family member close to you has moved beyond anger and is more interested in resolution than playing, “Let me count all the ways I suffer should wallow in my mistrust more than you!” Hopefully the two of you can hash out these things together.

Southern Heritage- A brave and poignant poem about confronting both the beauty and ugliness of one’s heritage.

For me and my partner and white friends it was a fundamental part of us bonding. It is a great release for them to be able to speak frankly about their experiences without judgement. It is a great gift to be able to openly acknowledge racism we experience today, call it what it is and then move past it together hand in hand. For my partner and I it was discussing how even in 2010, when we go out to dinner in our touristy island home and the bill comes, the local, black waiter or waitress almost always assumes that the white person will be paying and does not even look in my direction. We take great pleasure in shocking when I whip out the VISA card. We can laugh, pity the fool and most of all live free from personal hurt, guilt, embarrassment and anger.

My partner of 13 years, a Trini of Portugese/Spanish/Irish/Scottish descent once admitted to me how insidiously racism was practiced in the family in the form of the unspoken understanding that the black, Indian, mixed children in Trinidad were okay to play and go to school with but not to date or marry. Over the years, many replaced outright racism (actually calling people “Nigger” or “Coolie” and engaging in discrimination or violence) in favor of subtler forms of social ostracism with euphemistic justifications. They would even vehemently deny being racist and point to all their charity work and casual acquaintances. Fortunately, many in my partner’s generation and younger have been challenging this hypocrisy more directly.

The thorny racial relations that currently plague the United States is evidence that the nation has tried to forget before it truly goes through the real forgiveness process thoroughly and genuinely by an overwhelming majority.

Thank you Teabaggers for bringing the pimple of racism closer to the surface of the skin where it can be squeezed and medicated properly through brutally honest discourse and exposure.

This is why I am strangely thankful to the Teabaggers. The blatant racism of many of their members is showing the Conservative Movement’s true underbelly. They are making the harmful after-effects of hundreds of years of slavery and racism on white people, harder to ignore. Not even the talking heads on FOX News and politicians can hide behind the “monkey see no evil Marie Antoinette” smiles. The puss filled pimple of racism is ripening and moving closer to the surface of the American skin and there exists, perhaps for the first time, a prime opportunity to squeeze it and apply medication instead of just applying concealer.

Emancipating The White Man Part 1- How We Got To This Point

2010-08-01T11:13:00.000-07:00

First of all, Happy Emancipation Day!

Now on to business…

Why do blacks need special help? How come they are allowed to speak of Black Pride without being labeled racist? How come they are allowed to have college funds to help their young people exclusively? Sure, racism was bad but wasn’t that like hundreds of years ago? Aren’t they supposed to be over it by now? Horrible things happened to other ethnic groups who came to the Americas and Caribbean and they are not as badly off! Why should anyone in 2010 feel responsible for slavery? I did not enslave anyone! Even my great grandfather did not enslave anyone! Why are the black people so angry still?

An example of trivialization of the effects of slavery and continued racism can be found when O'Reilly equated the Black Panthers with David Duke (1/11/99): "You were promoting your people, black people, and he's promoting white people. So what's the difference?"

It is difficult to communicate the complex web of dysfunction that four hundred plus years of slavery followed by another hundred plus years of terrorism, injustice and segregation up to today’s ongoing racism and discrimination has done to descendents of African people.

In a simplified representation, I will attempt this impossible task to help those who still have trouble wrapping their minds around its effects. I call this story:

The Ladders That Built America

Once upon a time, a long time ago, a Rich White Man kidnapped a Black Man from a foreign land and using unthinkable means the Rich White Man forced his captive on his knees and used him as a human ladder to climb a tall wall. You see, on the other side of that tall, thick wall was abundance beyond compare. Back in Europe and in the early stages of arriving in the New World, The Rich White Man had used his own brothers and sisters to access wealth, but his fellow whites had grown increasingly empowered, ambitious and individualistic. They had also splintered away from the great religious empire that once kept them in-check and were challenging the class system. So, it had become much easier to use people who came from lands already weakened and ravaged by tribal wars, enslavement and exploitation. The African territories were such a place.

Suppressing all compassion and teaching his children to do the same, the Rich White Man somehow convinced himself and his children that it was the Black Man’s lot in life. The Rich White Man justified his actions by saying,
“Well, at least he we’ll make him a Christian convert, although not as equal a Christian in the eyes of God as we are.”

They set about turning The Black Man into the perfect human ladder. First, they robbed him of his name, honor, culture and family-ties. They programmed him to be ashamed and afraid of his African roots and be desperate for survival rather than fraternity so he would easily betray his own people. They trained him to be motivated only by fear of punishment and not his by pride and ambitious dreams. They whipped and terrorized all desire to climb the wall and feel deserving of the spoils on the other side. They slaughtered all Black Men who were smart and cunning enough to learn how to read and plot escape and engaged in twisted breeding experiments to build bigger, stronger human ladders.

The Black Man learned that being dumb and submissive meant survival and so he taught his children how to be dumb and submissive too.

Once over the wall, The Rich White Man made himself very comfortable. He also aided his family and friends over the wall using his black human ladder. Eventually they too benefitted from the fertile land, riches and abundance. They in turn helped their families and friends, who helped their families and friends and so on. They taught their children it was their birthright to experience this entitement. For over four hundred years they used the Black Man as their human ladder, they learned how to ignore his cries as his back broke and bones fractured under their weight.

The White Man taught their children how to ignore and suppress their conscience and justify the injustice using religion, economics and theories of racial superiority based on what they had caused the Black Man to become.

Indebted Labour Force Replaces Slave Labour

Then one day, the Rich White Man decided he did not need his black human ladder anymore. He and the privileged few he allowed over the wall discovered how to build wooden ladders. Not only that, they discovered that if they made these wooden ladders available to others who could afford it, they would make an even bigger profit than if they used human ladders.

A new labour force was now available.

You see, many people now wanted to climb over the wall and would do anything for a ladder- work long hours, vote a certain way, fight in wars for the Rich White Man’s causes, just for the chance. Immigrants began to come from all over the world just to get the opportunity. Besides, the Black Man’s complaining and suffering was tiresome and it did not help that the whole “human ladder” thing was falling out of favor among the growing humanist, intellectual elite who were currently the most innovative and promising group poised to usher in the rapidly approaching 20th Century. The Rich White Man wanted to gain access to their brilliance and most of all, to be accepted and perceived as one of them.

So one day, The Rich White Man told his black human ladder,
“Hey Black Man, I’m setting you free. Maybe what I did to you over the last four hundred years was kinda unfair to you, but hey, at least now you have your freedom, not as much freedom as I do of course, but sufficient enough for your kind. Hey, at least you are a Christian now. Just stay on that barren side of the wall with the poor whites and recent arrivals to America! This side with all the abundance is for people like me who arrived on the first set of ships and our descendents!”

You see deep down, the Rich White Man was and still is fearful of retribution. He feared what would happen when the Black Man had children and grandchildren. So he spends a great deal of time trying to “manage” this threat.

“Now don’t let this little bit of freedom go to your head. Remember your place Black Man and be submissive and obedient or else we can lock you up and force you back into slave labor in chain gangs for the slightest hint of disrespect.” Slavery may have been over but for generations more, the oppression continued.

His fears however are proven unnecessary for the crippled Black Man was grateful just to be free for he was broken and worn down from being stepped on. For a while, freedom alone was truly enough and he and his children stayed on the barren, stagnant side of the wall without much complaint. After all, the Black Man was never paid a cent for being a human ladder far less dreamed of climbing a wooden one. All initiative, ambition and individualism was bred and beaten out of him and he in turn had beaten it out of his children and they beat it out of their children, “Know your place! Be grateful you are at least free!” they chastised their sons and daughters who asked why they are not allowed to approach the wall let alone climb one of the new wooden ladders.

Meanwhile the Rich White Man decided that he will open up the accessibility of ladders just a smidge. This coincided with his discovery of profitable ways to mass produce and sell ladders in an efficient way. He opens up ladder opportunities to Merchant Class White Men, Poor White Men and eventually even Immigrants. He provides them with Ladder Loans that offer one rung at a time and many took advantage of it. They work hard for the Rich White Man and the conditions under which they suffer are almost as horrible as those suffered by the human ladders who paved the way for all of this…with one big exception.

Unlike the Black Man’s Children, the Children of the Poor White Man and Immigrants actually saw examples of their people actually making it over the other side of the wall and helping their family and friends over. In fact, this is what inspired many of them to come to America. Their parents were laborers, farmers, tradesmen and were also excluded and exploited by the privileged Rich White Man’s circle in their European countries for years. They too had their share of hardship, potato famines, religious persecution, class entrapment and clan feuds in the Old World which were notable. However, in this New World they found not only a sliver of opportunity but a new hierarchy.

No matter how badly the Immigrants and Poor White Man’s Children had it, they were bolstered by the knowledge that unlike their European countries, they were not dead last in line for a ladder. In this new land of opportuntiy, The Black Man’s Children replaced them at the bottom, along with the Native American Indians and Mexicans. For while the Rich White Man’s system discriminated on social class, national heritage and religion, those on the privileged side of the wall actually felt more comfortable and less fearful of vengeance around someone who shared the same complexion rather than the same Christ.

Even though the Poor White Man and Immigrant had suffered, they never lost their family ties, cultural and racial pride, sense of ambition and individuality. All of these things had been systematically stamped out in the Black Man’s Children in addition to something far more important…real hope of actually making it or at least their Children making it within a generation. They took out Ladder Loans, worked hard and repaid the Rich White Man in exchange for one ladder rung at a time. Some even managed to pay off the loan in their lifetime and truly enjoy the riches on the other side of the wall. Some used military service, intelligence, innovation and their talent to find their American dream.

Water fountains in an American Court of Law back in the day. Imagine the effects on the very psyche of a people raised generation after generation to know they are lower than second class citizens.

While watching all of this, the Black Man’s Children realized that it was their parents’ sore muscles, broken family and broken bones that in fact helped the first Rich White Man climb over the wall and made all of this opportunity for his Children and others possible in the first place.

“Certainly, if these people can do it, we’ve earned a chance to go after at least one rung of the ladder,” they reasoned.
So the Black Man’s Children who were raised to never dare ask for anything, timidly approached the Rich White Man for a Ladder Loan
“Sorry Black Man’s Children,” said the Rich White Man’s Children who had already developed a cold-hearted immunity to noticing injustice, “but you are not a desirable Ladder Loan candidate. You lack steady employment,”
So the Black Man’s Children asked for a job to obtain a ladder, one rung at a time.
“Sorry Black Man Children,but you do not have sufficient education to get a job,”
So the Black Man’s Children asked for special consideration to be educated given his unfortunate set-backs.
“That would be unfair,” said the Rich White Man’s Children “If I give that to you, why not give it to everyone?”
“But you did unmentionable things to our parents’ and are still treating us unfairly!”
“Yes, unmentionable is the operative word here. C’mon, get over it already! Okay, you are good at being a human ladder, so I will give you as close to a human ladder job as I can find for you, how’s that?”

So it was, the Black Man’s Children accepted the most menial tasks, just for a distant hope of affording a ladder one day. It is not long however, before more of them realize that even after fifty years of working they would never save enough to buy a single rung on a ladder. Many of dropped out of the race. Many fell to desperation and despair. However a few toiled on and placed hopes on their children seeing the other side of that wall. They called it, “The Promise Land”.

The Effect On The Children

Unfortunately, The Black Man's Children were unwittingly affected by human ladder indoctrination. They may have never felt the lash but they were born with the welts and were uninspired by the hopelessness in menial toil. In them, the seeds of despondency bore bitter fruit. Yet despite this, there were glimmers of hope. They had slowly coalesced as a community around an almost forgotten African spirituality mixed with the New World Christianity and the musical rhythm buried deep in their heart. The native spirits and native wisdom had not been entirely destroyed and gradually the crippled Black Man’s Children began to break out of their human ladder paralysis.

Somewhere between inventing gospel, the blues, jazz and calypso, they began to dream of doing more than just surviving and raising children to subsist their way through life while working in dead-end menial jobs. They decided in earnest that the strongest among them will try to be a human ladder for their brothers and sisters until they could obtain wooden ladders for everyone. On their impoverished side of the wall, they formed their own community, hoping one day, they too could climb over the wall and help their brothers and sisters over as the Rich White Man did and the others were currently doing.

It would not be easy. There was now stiff competition not just for the ladders but a spot on the wall to place them and climb up. The Children of the Poor White Man and Poor White Immigrants were now scrambling in vast numbers to get over the wall. Some did not even bother to use a ladder but drilled holes into the wall and made their way using bootleg booze, gambling, vice, extortion and various scams. They would discover that great crimes could lead to great fortune. In the end, The Almighty Dollar, not some form of Christian morality was the ultimate God of this New World.
But why didn’t the Poor White Man’s Children, Immigrants’ Children and Black Man’s Children not see their shared struggle and common oppressor? Why didn’t they unite and help one another climb over the wall?

During times of economic depression, racial violence against blacks would spike.

They might have come close a few times but then a Great Depression made everyone go “every man for himself” and “to each his own” and there arose great resurgence of terrorism against the Black Man’s Children as even the most menial jobs were now desired by the Poor White Man’s Children who had fallen on desperate times. After the Great Depression subsided, next came the new threat of Communism. The Rich White Man’s Children took great pains to stamp out any talk of “sharing wealth” and “brotherhood” and so it made any who wanted to unite be fearful of being labeled a Bolshevik.

However, that was not really the most powerful reason why. The real reason why the common struggle did not unite the lower classes, black, white, immigrant is far more depressing and so typically human.

Many, particularly among the Poor White Man’s Children and Immigrant’s Children who had experienced exclusion and persecution from the Rich White Man, decided to regain their self-esteem by victimizing others in turn. They derived great pride from not being dead last in line for a ladder according to the Rich White Man’s ranking system and became virulently preoccupied with all the reasons why they were still “better than those niggers!”

The Effects On The Grandchildren

Times were changing though. The Black Man’s Children had multiplied and were mobilizing and demanding equality. What aided their cause greatly was the love affair America now had with the musical magic they had spawned that now filled the airwaves with jazz, soul, blues and rock n roll (the slang blacks used for making love). The feelings aroused and the integrating nature of the rhythm instantly put those who had appointed themselves “Protectors of White Progress and Virtue” on edge. Watching their sons and daughters gyrating to the devilishly pagan drums of “negro music” was the start of them using “morality” as a code word for “race”. Jazz was evil. Blues was evil. Rock n Roll was evil because it was negro-derived. It would not be the last time “moral values” was used a code for “white”.

The orgins of the Religious Right in America are closely linked to racism. Anything that threatened integration of white and black became a crusade for the racist whites who euphemistically called themselves the "Morality Police" who sought to have it outlawed on equally frivolous grounds- marijuana, Jazz, Blues, alcohol, Rock n Roll, and yes, also integrated education.

Despite the protests, increasing numbers of the White Man’s Children, rich, poor and immigrant including some in the echelons of power began to soften and notice the marked injustice being done to the Black Man’s Children. It soon became more important to their image, political and economic interests to demonstrate humanitarianism and reconciliation towards this abused and neglected group.
The Poor White Man’s Children could not believe it! Their response was swift and violent, especially in the South. So it was, yet another generation of the Black Man’s Children experienced a further set back of crippling disenfranchisement, terrorism and discrimination. However, a hope was slowly dawning with the birth of the Grandchildren. It was into a world where blacks and whites and everyone else danced to the same soundtrack. In addition, more of the Black Man’s Grandchildren inherited the collected savings of lifetimes of menial work. By pooling resources together the Black Man’s Grand-children finally got enough money to afford one rung of the ladder. With each rung, came enough courage to attempt to climb for the first time.

When America black and white began dancing to the same soundtrack, one that originated with the black rhythms, it was a sign of change to come.

It was not easy trying to purchase a rung. Often, the White Man’s Ladder Store refused to sell it to them or would only do so at a higher price and only if they stayed on their side of the store. The Black Man’s Grandchildren decided to pay the higher price. It was also not easy getting a spot on the wall to place the ladder as they were often pushed away and ganged up on. They were undaunted though.
“Once we get over to the other side to the Promise Land, we can at least help our brothers and sisters over the wall too,” they kept on saying and it gave them strength.

So they contentedly paid the added “Black Man’s Tax”, swallowed their pride, held themselves to a higher standard, did everything to set their white neighbors vying for a spot on the wall, at ease. They minded their manners and acted diplomatically. They hid the hurts and offense. They groomed themselves in a way that soothed the Rich White Man’s Grandchildren’s fears of anything overly African, nappy or vengefully angry. They pretended to forget there was any reason to feel hurt or have a grudge. In this uneasy and unconfirmed forgiveness, the Rich White Man’s Grandchildren and Poor White Man’s Grandchildren convinced themselves that the Black Man’s Grandchildren had “gotten over it” and they could breathe easy. They became gradually comfortable with the occasional token black who managed to secure a ladder and somehow learned how to climb it even though “it was not in their nature” to do so.

It is hard for many to understand the level of self-hatred inculcated into the Black Man’s Children and Grandchildren and how the White Man's Children and Grandchildren are unaware of how they still contribute to it. One way of summing it up can be found in the experience one of my black sisters who decided to choose to wear her naturally kinky. She worked in upper management of a large bank. The manager called her into his office and asked whether or not she could get a more “corporate hairstyle”. Thankfully, the young woman had rediscovered her pride and replied, “If I were to apply harsh chemical relaxers and painful weaves a French Poodle’s hair so it resembles a Maltese’s or Afghan Hound’s long silky hair everyone would consider it animal cruelty and disrespectful to their breed. Funny isn’t it how when it comes to dogs, we accept and celebrate their differences and still see them as beautiful in their own right and yet cannot even do the same for ourselves.”

When the miniscule number of Black Man’s Grandchildren climbed over the wall, they exclaimed,
“But there has always been more than enough for everyone!”

They felt such humbling gratitude to have made it over because many of their brothers and sisters still had not and many more they knew never would. It became an urgent mission to provide ladders to their people and teach them how to climb and protect them as they did. However, it would be harder than they had anticipated. The bitter fruit of despondency fallen from consecutive generations had now fermented and their people were drunk on it. The Black Man’s Grandchildren had grown so pessimistic and desperate they had begun using their brothers and sisters as human ladders, pimping, addicting and killing them in order to escape their misery.
“We are already too late!” the few successful Grandchildren of the Black Man panicked. “How are we going to repair this tragedy? We cannot do it alone!”

Fortunately, there were Liberal Grandchildren of Immigrants, Poor White Men and even some Rich White Men who were touched by their efforts and whose hearts had not completely hardened despite being raised to turn a blind eye to injustice. They actively disagreed with their parents’ fear, avoidance and racism. They admitted the truth: All of America on the privileged side of the wall had profited and benefited from the Black Man serving as a human ladder while his own Grandchildren had not received one percent of the rewards of his labor and were still being stymied by racism. For them it was an expression of humanitarianism, gratitude and resolution to assist those disproportionately disenfranchised.

Imagine the courage of the first black people to cross the wall. Courage that is needed even today for many who try to break barriers of race.

Together they marched with the Black Man’s Grandchildren for integration and equality.
“But we thought they were happy and contented! What the hell more do they want?” screamed the Conservative Grandchildren of the Poor and Rich White Men.
They unleashed their dogs and hoses. They accused those who demanded an equal place of Communism. Among those very unhappy about this development were the Poor White Man’s Grandchildren who were still holding on to the assurance that, “We were supposed to be next in line for a ladder over the wall, not those niggers!”
“Reverse racism!” they cried.
They pointed to the fermented, poisonous fruit growing in black communities not as proof of the atrocious seeds that were sown by their forefathers but as proof of the Black Man's Children's current unreservedness. Every time there was a crash in the economy, their cries would grow louder.

Some of the Rich and Middle Class White Man’s Great Grandchildren took offense as well. All the increased talk of “sharing” also bothered them tremendously.
“Why can’t the Black Man’s Grandchildren climb over on their own merit? Cause that is how we did it! Totally free from hand-outs, entitlements, and special privilege at someone else’s expense!Right?....RIGHT?"

Everything I just wrote, captured in a concise little cartoon!

And there you have it! A synopsis but I want to delve even deeper in a rather unexpected direction. I am going to do the unthinkable and explore…

How slavery and racism has damaged the psyche of the White Man's Children, Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren and why resolution is being made so difficult between black and white today.

Grow Up Women!

2010-07-02T12:22:00.000-07:00

I let the men have it, now it’s our turn ladies and if you are expecting me to go easy on us because we women have it so very hard, for so very long, you are going to be disappointed. I’m going to be just as hard on you as I am on myself, so gird your loins and buckle in. First up…

You are not a victim!

Have you suffered abuse and neglect in your childhood? You are not a victim! Have you had one or several bad men enter your life? You are not a victim! Have you felt ugly and unloved? You are not a victim! The only victims in this world are children or those too impaired mentally, physically to defend themselves or determine anything true about their life. If you are reading this, you are not a victim! The moment you can identify the ills that plagued your life past and present, then you graduate from victim to actively aware person. The moment you can say,

“I was abused.” Or “My mother’s terrible life and unloving nature impacted negatively on me,” you are now wide awake.

Once you can pin point whatever injustice (so typically meted out to our gender) was meted out to you, then you have now become a conscious participant in what happens next. You can either prolong the effects of those ills or make up your mind to evolve past them.

When you have had your epiphany and know what has handicapped you all your life, what happens next is all on your shoulders.

Who am I to tell you this?

I am a woman who was sexually and physically abused, neglected, suffered two suicide attempts, two scary near death experiences; battled chronic depression; got rejected by those closest to me, experienced poverty, near homelessness twice, discrimination because of gender, orientation, race and colour, verbal and phyiscal abuse and assault because of gender and orientation.

Just when I think I have it all figured out, I get yet another emotional breakdown/breakthrough that has me bawling my eyes out till 2 in the morning. The latest one was all about my surprising realization that the abuse I suffered is still impacting my self-esteem and sex life within my thirteen year relationship. Yes, even when I think I have it all figured out and therapy, affirmations, meditations and spiritual healing has worked, I discover there is always another layer to peel away and something new to fix-up. Of course, once the fixing up is done, the tremendous leap forward is more than worth it...until the next hurdle.

Beauty is pain on the outside and the inside.

So, no, you do not have an excuse ladies. If you can commit to the “beauty is pain” mentality for the exterior of your body and subject yourself to bikini waxes, scalp melting chemical relaxers, spine-snapping, crippling high heels and 800 calories a day, then surely you can endure a little honest evaluation of the dark, depressing, disempowering ugly bits of baggage hanging over your heart and strangling your soul. You can summon the strength to pry its bony, fingers from your throat and unleash destruction upon it, with the same determined anger you apply to those pimples and knots in your hair.

“Well I had a hard life, so I doh give a shit about nobody!” attitude will not get you places, it will not win you respect amongst your sisters and brothers nor cultivate deep peace and joy in your life.

Don’t worry, it is okay if you don’t know how to stop tearing down others and sabotaging yourself, all you need to begin with is the desire to admit that you do it. Stop making excuses like, “People just don’t like me!” or “They are just jealous of me,” or “What can I do about it?” Acknowledge that your negative thoughts and actions are what play the most important role in attracting negative results to you in the form of being truly disliked by others ( other women especially), disrespected by men, destructive towards men, distrusted by your children, unsuccessful in your profession, unhappy with your life; being easily provoked, overly controlling, insecure and resentful.

Be brave ladies! Look into your past and see where it originated and understand how it affected you, and follow it up with a compelling reason to change.

That compelling reason could be anything from wanting to become a better lover, mother, sister, wife, workmate, teacher or friend or simply wanting more health and happiness in your life before you kill yourself. Of course the most successful reason is; wanting to become more spiritually empowered as part of your journey to Divine enlightenment. It is the most successful because it does not hinge on anyone else. Many women who link their self-improvement to their husband or lover or friend fall off the wagon once the relationship ends. Your relationship with the Divine and your own soul however, is everlasting.

While we are on this topic, let me make something clear.

Many women in our Caribbean region are extremely religious, praying constantly to be transformed by the Lord, forgiven by the Lord, become more forgiving through the Lord, be healed by the Lord. Many of them mistake the religious ecstasy they feel as these prayers being answered, because they are looking for miraculous change and spectacular signs. They go to church, catch the spirit, speak in tongues and then return to their families, communities or their own private spaces no more spiritually evolved than they were before. The “church fix” lasts only so long as the euphoria wears off. It is not long before their old thinking rears its ugly head and self-discipline prompted by religious obligation crumbles under their excuses of victimhood.

A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Here is a little bucket of ice cold reality for you fiery holy rolling sisters.
The answers to your prayers do come. Not in the form of grandiose miracles but in the form of emotional upsets; failures, disagreements, conflicts and obstacles. They come in the form or embarrassing exposures of your weaknesses and being hurt or being faced with the shocking realization you are hurting other people. If all you are expecting are grand miracles then when these bitter greens are served up to you by the Divine Chef, you will not digest them with appreciation for the healing lessons to be learned that will help purge dysfunction from your life. You will continue to feel like a victim of external situations imposed on you.
You will be overly defensive and seek to justify your misbehviour towards others.

Case in point:
A woman prays and testifies and prays in church for deliverance from resentment towards someone who has done her wrong. She gets some relief from unburdening herself at church. Ahhh! She thinks this is it! Healing has come!

Then just hours after, the very person who irks her somehow does it again. She takes a deep breath and prays for deliverance. But the person keeps on entering her life and exacerbating the situation. No matter how much she prays for deliverance, the Divine or the universe sends her confrontation. Why?

It is trying to help her solve the issue. However, she does not realize it and thinks some miracle is going to happen when she must save herself using the powers gifted to her. She must take responsibility for her role in the situation. She must learn why she attracts the situation. She must then tackle it from that angle, forgiving herself and the person out of true understanding of their cosmic soul relationship before this life, presently and after their souls move on. Until that happens, she will either think: A- Her prayers are not being answered B. Demonise the person to the extent of assigning them the role of Devil come to disturb her peace.

And that my sistas is how you can have devout, sanctimonious women who continue to have severe emotional and interpersonal issues. They pray very visibly, attend church, preach to others constantly but are disliked, dysfunctional, dishonest and deluded about themselves and the world at large. They continue to be unclear about why their love relationships fail, why they cannot enjoy sex, why they still feels unworthy of love, why they constantly need to control and undercut other women and project a less than honest display of their emotions.

Take heart, identifying that you have “issues” and linking those issues to the triggers lurking in your past is more than most women ever do in their lifetime. You are already half-way there!

Little Girls Tear Down Their Sisters To Ease Their Insecurities

In the Grow Up Men essay, I mentioned that Caribbean men have an exacerbated form of male chauvinism to compensate for the dehumanizing aspects of slavery and colonial oppression on their self-worth. It is in the nature of a man to outwardly express his pain by inflicting it on another. Men who are abused as boys or who have witnessed abuse are more likely to become abusers themselves.

Women are a little different.

We tend to turn the pain inward on ourselves first. A woman who is abused as a girl or witnessed abuse is more likely to become a victim of abuse all her life. Therefore you can expect Caribbean women who had to endure the whips, rapes, babies pulled from their arms to be sold off, lovers tortured and killed, colour and class discrimination, financial dependency, endless toil, endless disappointment and on top of all that, chauvinism and abuse from their brothers, to truly have the lowest of the low self-esteem.

Understand that we have a lot of self-love to regain.

Woman is the nigger of the world
Yes she is...think about it
Woman is the nigger of the world
Think about it...do something about it

We make her paint her face and dance
If she won’t be slave, we say that she don’t love us
If she’s real, we say she’s trying to be a man
While putting her down we pretend that she is above us

Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don’t believe me take a look to the one you’re with
Woman is the slaves of the slaves
Ah yeah...better scream about it

We make her bear and raise our children
And then we leave her flat for being a fat old mother then
We tell her home is the only place she would be
Then we complain that she’s too unworldly to be our friend

Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don’t believe me take a look to the one you’re with
Woman is the slaves of the slaves
Yeah (think about it)

We insult her everyday on TV
And wonder why she has no guts or confidence
When she’s young we kill her will to be free
While telling her not to be so smart we put her down for being so dumb

Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don’t believe me take a look to the one you’re with
Woman is the slaves of the slaves
Yes she is...if you believe me, you better scream about it.

We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance

John Lennon

My employer, a strong woman and first ever female Director of Tourism in her country lamented to me about the women who have Masters Degrees and all kinds of academic and professional accolades and yet continue to allow themselves to be at the mercy of nasty, dishonest, locho or abusive men. “Where is their pride? Where is their sense of dignity?” she asks. How could it be they have all that education but no value for themselves?

She also recounted her first professional experiences with female co-workers after returning to her Caribbean island home with stellar and highly specialised tertiary qualifications from Canada and the UK. Before her return, local women in the hotel industry worked for white, male, foreign management for years and never thought to aspire to achieve more than menial and administrative positions. Suddenly here comes my current boss with international training. She was the youngest and only black, female working in at the very top of the Hotel Industry in her country.

Of course, this came with special perks. She could use hotel facilities. She was attending cocktail functions and tourism conferences all over the world with her white, male colleagues. She was now the boss of the women who were there for years in the same position. She admitted how scared she was to be placed as their superior and how badly she wanted to be accepted by her elder, fellow local, fellow black sisters and to also learn from them.

Did they welcome this opportunity to have a fellow sister in a position of power? Did they see in her inspiration for bettering themselves by working with her and sharing their level of expertise while gleaning from hers?

Hell to the no!

They made their resentment very clear with sabotage, gossip and insubordination. Thankfully, my boss learned to toughen up quickly and stand up to women as old as twenty years her senior. Sadly when all attempts at camaraderie failed she was forced to replace a great portion of them with a newer generation with more first world experience and a willingness to aspire to something better with less “small-island”, “crab in barrel” attitudes.

Simone de Bouvoir often said that we women seem incapable of reaching across class, religion and racial lines to other women. We are so desperate for any single shred of self-esteem that we will actually buy into the inhumane machinations used to oppress others, designed by the very men who oppress us. So, we turn up our nose at our sisters from a “certain class”, “certain religious persuasion”, “certain colour”. The sad truth is that the mullato sister is no more “free” in our male dominated world than her darker-skinned sister and although the slave master’s wife or daughter was living in cushier kind of prison, than the slave-woman it was still a prison none the less. Caribbean women, whether descended from slave, indentured labourer, trader or slave master, whether educated or illiterate, all experienced some form of oppression yet were unable to see past our class, race and religion to our common struggle.

This attitude is reflective of the small feminist movement here in the Caribbean. Instead of making the enlightenment and liberating philosophies accessible to all women and using the existing, indigenous female leadership; from the Orisha Priestesses and Spiritual Baptist Mothers and Hindu matriarchs, the Caribbean’s intellectual women continue to turn up their nose at lesser educated women. So fragile is our ego! Feminists in the Caribbean segregate themselves in elite academic circles and corporate ladders, benefitting greatly from the knowledge they were given but not allowing it to trickle down to their less literate or less “legitimate” sisters. Our lack of generosity makes women who had little access or acumen for higher education or financial freedom to develop a hostile and suspicious attitude towards women who do. The “female professional” and the “feminist” are still the hoity-toity elitists for most grassroots, working class women, who are not given their due for their strength and resilience.

It’s not like the men care who is educated and who is not. They sexually harass and assault us all, regardless of our station. They are still intent on pigeon-holing, objectifying and infantalising all of us, whether we are dressed in a power suit or in pom pom shorts with powder on our chest. They are still pushing Ephesians and Corinthians down all our sisters throats and making them feel like less of a God-fearer if they do not accept a subservient role in marital relationships.

If feminism is beneficial for me, then it must also be beneficial for my housekeeper and her daughters! It is beneficial for the woman who sells me mangoes and cleans my office. How dare I or anyone else look at these woman and say, “They can’t understand things like that!” In my experience, they can, if you speak to them with reference to their realities. Let us not forget Sojourner Truth. She was no university graduate but a black, female, slave. The voice that cries out for freedom does not need a degree to be eloquent. The will to fight for freedom does not need a certificate to be resilient.

So I charge all women literate enough to read this and intelligent enough to understand and debate it, to reach out and touch the lives of other women all around you. So many opportunities exist to spread little gems of liberating truths wherever you go. When you see school girls waiting for a bus along your route being subjected to sexual overtures from the thugs on the corner and they are acting these are the only options they have for love and fulfillment, don’t turn up your nose. Stop your $200,000 car, offer them a ride home and tell them a little story on the way to their neighbourhood about your journey from that same neighbourbood to the successful career you always wanted. It may not stick with all of them but for one teenage girl, it could be the moment that changes her life. When you see two women arguing over some locho man, be the woman that tells them both that they deserve better.

Be known as the sister who never talks badly about anyone behind their back and refuses to play along in catty exclusionary games to tear down another sister’s confidence. Wherever you see a sister burdened and bound by limited thinking…set her free! Don’t shake your head at her and feel superior. If you do, then you are not a true feminist. You do not carry a torch for your sisters or any real pride in being a woman. You are just a taker, using what you know to get ahead and to hell with everyone else! You are no better than the men who enslaved your ancestors. You have no idea how significant it is to be born a woman. You need to GROW UP!

Being A Lone Woman Among Little Girls

One is not born a woman, one becomes one.
Simone de Beauvoir

There are childlike qualities you should keep all through life; curiosity, honest expression, openness to the world, natural joy and even silly playfulness.

Then there are childlike qualities that you should abandon as you get older and wiser like the fearful selfishness you feel about what you own, comparing what others have to what you have, feeling easily jealous if you are not the center of attention, allowing your infantile ego to determine your actions, wanting to belong so badly you lose your self-worth, allowing others to make your mind up for you, fear, ignorance, lack of common sense.

Have you ever found yourself surrounded by little girls in women’s bodies? Some of them are even mothers already- little girls raising little girls. Some are in their 40s and 50s but are still so insipid it hurts! Being “girlish”, “unconcerned of weighty matters”, “helpless”, “befuddled,” “easily abated with bright shiny objects,”, “manipulations through tantrums, tits and ass” unfortunately have been inculcated in our Caribbean women. Those of you who do not subscribe to this model and choose to act like grown, intelligent women; are unapologetic about your sexual empowerment, decisive, serious, daring, individualistic and blatantly honest are rare treasures most do not appreciate. Sometimes not even the women in your own family welcome you as they should.

Have you ever found yourself surrounded by women whose scope of conversation is always (1) Materialistic (2) Complaining (3) Salacious bad-talking? Or who are glaringly racist, classist or exhibit some other form of unintelligence and degradation? It is tough isn’t it? It is even worse when those women are members of your family or workmates whom you cannot avoid. You sit in silence and suffer through their girlish comparisons and deductions. While in their presence, you must fight constantly to balance your refusal to perpetuate destructive norms with your fear of being militant and unsociable. When you try to steer conversation into deeper waters, you get laughed at or sidelined.

I have found that instead of ranting and railing against them, I insert little humorous thought-provoking sound bites here and there.

THEM: Hah! Hah! She cyah get a man!
ME: Considering how “getting a man” worked out for the majority of women in this family! She must be the one laughing at all of you in secret!
THEM: “But look how she nice and fair-skinned!”
ME: I didn’t realize that being fair-skinned was still considered a bonus with skin cancer on the rise? Seems to me it is the melanin gifted who shall inherit the earth.
THEM: So when you going to have children? Hurry up!
ME: I am only entertaining suggestions about what to do with my eggs from people who willing to pay $100,000 and upwards for the outcome of their fertilization!

Make them laugh and make them think at the same time. You don’t need to preach.

Women Do Not Compete With Little Girls For Men

Little girls are in constant, heated contest with other little girls over boys. Their self-esteem and identity comes only from exterior and circumstantial factors, including being desired by men. They are confounded and challenged by grown women who act above or oblivious to all the subtle and not so subtle forms of catfighting they use in their contest.

Intellectually and spiritually mature women simply have better things to do than engage in little girl bitch games. You are not motivated by the same factors nor are you interested in pursuing the same target. No enlightened woman wants to end up in a relationship with someone who actually wants a little girl as his life partner. You are looking for an uplifting, soul-enhancing, equal partnership, not one where you fight, play petty ego games and soothe it all away with sex and gifts.

A real woman clearly see that men are the ones who must be kept on their toes, defending their turf, fighting for your love. When women do it, it is just pathetic. Why? Well in all honesty, it is a natural privilege for a man to have a woman, not the other way around. Even animals know that.

If you are an independent woman pursuing your career dreams, earning your own money with good friends around you and a wonderful community, social, spiritual life full of meaningful and orgasmic experiences, all without a man in your life, then you know that although having a man would be nice, it is not a necessity. In fact, having an intimate, sexual relationship with a man will present far more risk and upheaval in your life, so it better be worth the headache, HIV testing, condoms, yeast infections, fights, worries, hurt feelings and pregnancy scares. The man who gets the privilege of throwing your life out of wack needs to work for it. Those who fall miserably short, you do not need to think twice about discarding. That is the female role. Again, even animals know that.

Desperation and worry over what a man does can easily be solved by having a full and satisfying life of your own with or without him. Remember that he is the one who is lucky to have you.

At a party with some friends, a married female-friend of mine was drinking and watching with great amusement as a “little girl” made the moves on her husband of 20 years.

“Go and tell that sket to keep her claws off your man!” her friends urged.
“Why?” the empowered woman answered. “If my husband actually takes that bait then our marriage must be in real bad shape or, he is a complete moron and I am in bad shape for being with him. That sket is the litmus test. She will help us end a bad marriage or improve it or just go home tonight and fuck our brains out. I am a strong enough bitch to handle all possible outcomes! So just let me enjoy my drink.”

She enjoyed her night alright! Upon seeing her enjoying herself, her husband soon joined in and from the suggestive dancing I imagine they went home and fucked their brains out. She did not let some sket ruin her evening and gain some false sense of accomplishment doing so.

Easier said than done right?

The ability to love a man without fear of “little girls” taking him away is a privilege only strong women will ever know.

My accomplished, forty year old female friend belly laughed and laughed at her fifty year old boyfriend when she found out he cheated on her with a “little girl”. He was always something of a megalomaniac and so, could not handle my friend and her ability to match his success. So he found a “little girl” in a bar, half his age, whom he could bamboozle. As it turned out, what the “little girl” lacked in principles, intellectual and spiritual acumen she more than made up for in desperation, emotional sexual and social manipulation; basic tools of the “little girl” trade. His infantile outside woman got herself pregnant, stalked him, threatened suicide and scandal until he married her. That was actually the funniest part of all because he was always and still is extremely marriage-phobic. In the five years, she was with him, my friend accepted this, being a bit of a maverick herself and having absolutely no emotional or financial need to “tie down” a man.

My friend gathered all her girlfriends and shared a good laugh at his wedding video, leaked to her by a mutual friend who attended. Her marriage-phobic ex-boyfriend clearly uncomfortable while dressed up like prince charming. There were horse-drawn carriages and white doves. His little Bridezilla made him fork out hundreds of thousands for an elaborate, tacky wedding. Now he lives to support his new desperate housewife’s suburban social climbing dreams. He hides from her by spending most of his time at the bar, golf course and the office where he still encounters my friend who has long moved on. He is trapped. If he leaves now, he has to pay child support for four children. His new wife turned out to be quite fecund, go figure.

The man looks like he does not know what hit him. He still unburdens on my friend as his own wife is nowhere near his intellectual level.
“You idiot,” my friend still playfully tells him when he does.

He could have had a woman who only wanted him for his mind, meaningful conversation, mind-blowing sex and mutual growth on this adventure called life. But no, he fell for the “little girl” trap because my friend was too empowered to mistake his shit for her sustenance. Elizabeth Aston used to say, “When men are scared of a woman, they always accuse her of being mannish,” which only proves they are scared of their own potential.

Ladies, stop spending your time time pining over men that dumb and unenlightened! Ladies, no one is going to treat you like a prize if you don’t treat yourself that way. Men who are serious stay. The little boys (yes even those over 30) flee and go chase after the little girls and get tangled up in their little girl games.

Ugly is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.
Margaret Cho

This physical shell of ours is not going to last forever, in its current state. Little girls will always be scared of aging because it takes away their one asset. Nothing is more pathetic than a toothless cougar, desperately trying to cling to her physical attributes and bitter at all the little girls who have usurped her place.

Personally, I cannot wait until the grey hairs start peppering my dreadlocks. Such a relief to be free of the constant sooting and sexual harassment! Oh! To move around freely in this world without being seen as simply a sexual object! What fun! For many women in the Caribbean, the moment she becomes an elder, is the first time she is ever given any kind of respect by, men.

Many empowered women look forward to the freedom of their post-menopausal years because being sexually viable to men was never their main source of their self-esteem.

Oh and I intend to be fearsome! I want to be a wizened old hag full of mystical power and secret knowledge, puffing on my hash pipe. I want to be someone with whom young artists, thinkers, lovers climb mountains to consult. Those in need of comfort and healing I will resuscitate with love. Those who need empowerment I will deliver fearsome knowledge that awakens their warrior spirit. Those who need inspiration, their minds I will open. My silliness, crude humor and lust for life would not have diminished one iota but my powers would have increased exponentially. My scandalous, cackling laughter would echo from my little eco-friendly dwelling. Call me Tanty or Mama Jessie. Love and fear me. I will be unafraid to surrender my mortal coil and return to the Source.